It was the beginning of August, almost time for September and the start of college. Tina was confused still, but remained steady in her decision not to see Bette for fear of her resolve breaking. Bette remained alone in her despair, working, coming home and crying herself to sleep at the loss of her best friend, it was too painful to see Tina and she didnt want to risk running into her out and about. Thats what she found herself doing at 5 in the afternoon on her Sunday off, that is, until one of her long ignored friends had enough and decided to pull her tired ***** away. At the opening of the door Bette moaned and pulled the sheets tighter around her head. Im fine mom, I have a headache thats all. And if I was Vicki Porter maybe I would give a damnAlice said walking up to the bed and tugging on the blankets. Al, what the ***** are you doing here? Porter, youve been a recluse for weeks, Tina isnt the be all-end all of the world. Were leaving for school in a couple weeks and well probably never see one another again. I want to party with the Bette Porter I know and love! Sighing Bette sent the death stare Alices way and yanked the blanket out of her hand, pulling it back over her head. I dont feel like it. Unh-uh Elizabeth youre coming. Theres huge party at Hawthorne Beach and youre cominglots of hot girls to drool over, youre gonna find someone to have a little fun with and get your head off a certain stuck up popular pain in the ***** blondeand its not me. Shes not stuck up Al, dont talk about her when you dont even know her. Bette chided one of her closest friends. Whatever, lets go, and what the ***** are you listening to? The Smiths? Could you be more depressing? Alice hooked her slender fingers around Bettes slim wrists and pulled her out of the bed, Bettes feet dragging behind her as she was drug towards the bathroom. Fine!! IM GOING She said yanking her arms from Alice and standing up. Thanks for the rug-burn, and the Smiths are NOT depressingtheyre soothing. She said as she closed the bathroom door. Tina was busy with her mom, her home had become almost eerily Martha Stewart like. Jackie went to work everyday and then spent her days cooking and making the house feel more like a home than Tina had known in the past 6 or so years. It felt strange at first, the feeling that her mother was trying to hard. But it conformed into a soft mutual affection on both sides and they began to actually have a connection. Making dinner together was interrupted by a heavy knocking on the door. Jackie answered it motioning for the person who had arrived to come in. Christina, you have a visitor. Walking in from the kitchen Tina was shocked to see her friend Rachael standing in the hallway. Rae, what are you doing here? She said hugging the tall, trim, cheerleader. The girls havent seen you like, since you and Kevin broke up, we missed you and thought maybe you wanted to come to the party. Tina looked confused, and Rachael noticed. Oh girl have you been hiding under a rock since school ended? Looking down Tina thought of all that had happened since June. Ive been going through some stuff. Rachael looked at her blonde friend sympathetically, I know Teen, and thats why I think you should come, it would do you good to let loose for a while, forget for a night ya know? Tinas eyes shone with excitement, she hadnt really ever let herself go. Colin had always been in the back of her mind, as well as Kevin and the situation with her mom. She had responsibilities a 17 year old shouldnt have to deal with. Plus your birthday is in a week right? A little early celebration never hurt anyone. Nodding Tina decided that for once she was going to let go of everything. Bette, Colin, Jackie, and college far from her thoughts. Mom! Tina yelled Do you mind if I go out tonight? Meeting Tina in the kitchen doorway she shook her head. No its ok, you need to have some fun. Be careful okay? Sure. Tina said hugging her mom lightly as she headed out the door and hopped into Rachaels Jeep speeding away to Hawthorne beach for a little bit of impromptu immaturity and no responsibility. Bette and Alice drove towards the beach and found a parking spot. Clibing out of the car they could hear the thrumming of the bass music through the concrete coming from the beach party. The sun was just about setting as the two friends stepped onto the beach and watched the mass of sweaty, scantily clad teens partying it up in one of the most secluded lake beaches. It was the hottest of hot spots, grabbing their drinks from the group of boys standing guard over the keg; Bette and Alice mingled until some crazy techno song pounded the beach and Alice started dancing like crazy making Bette join in as well. Bette stopped hours later as a slower song came on and rolled her eyes at Alice trying to get her to dance, before turning around and being punched in the gutmetaphorically that is. Tina, beautiful Tina, wrapped in the arms of that ***** Kevin and some nameless boy, grinding together slowly. Their grinding matching the grinding of Bettes teeth. Tina looked amazing and Bette was jealous as ***** that this trash was holding on to her Tina. The song choice had been even more appropriate as it flowed on the balmy summer air. Your true beauty’s description looks so good that it hurts Your true beauty’s description looks so good that it hurts You’re a dime plus ninety-nine and it’s a shame Don’t even know what you’re worth Everywhere you go they stop and stare Cause you’re bad and it shows From your head to your toes, Out of control, baby you know You should let me love you Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need Ooh Baby good love and protection Make me your selection Show you the way love’s supposed to be Baby you should let me…. Bette continued to watch her heart matching the crushed cup that was in her hand, she knew Tina technically wasnt hers anymore; but she also knew that Tina said she loved her and just needed time to figure things out. Figuring things out was definitely not going out and getting drunk off your *****, which she clearly was, and figuring things out was DEFINITELY not making out with an ex boyfriend that treats you like ***** and another guy! More than a little ticked now, Bette stormed over to the pair and pulled on Tinas arm. Tina! I need to talk. Kevin brushed her off with a crude remark and a shove of her arm. Get youre *****-y hands away, were busy. Dont ***** touch me *****. Tina, please? Eyes hidden behind dark glasses Tina nodded, her insides screaming at her to avoid those big brown eyes just long enough to run away, get to the other side of the lake or the other side of the country. What the ***** is going on with you? Bette asked loudly after she pulled Tina away into a clearing surrounded by trees nearby. Tina didnt answer. You break up with me and go find the first two guys to *****? A little summer fling to get rid of bad memories. Is that what we were to you? A little summer experimentation? Her buzz coming down from the seriousness of the situation Tina replied, I dont know what we were Bette. Everythingnothing, its all the same anymore. ***** just runs together, I need to have fun, stop being so serious. Bette nodded, lips pursed together tightly, blinking and looking away to the shimmer of the glowing lake and the teenagers losing their inhibitions. Ok, I guess this was my last chance, apparently it didnt work. Just remember that the night we shared together wasnt a dream. I made you scream for methat was me, and Im pretty sure those guys wont be able to get to you the way I did. No matter what that meant to you, it meant everything to me. And after your little summer boys have long disappeared, you;ll know exactly how much you lost. Bette turned and walked away. Tina;s head was spinning with Bettes words, How dare she be slef riteous with me, she thought in a slightly drunken haze, she screamed ***** you!! Bette hearing her replied with, Been there, done that. She fought the urge to turn and look at the blonde, Dont look back she recited to herself. She grabbed Alices arm, telling her that she was leaving and asking if her friend needed a ride. After noticing Alice had a very attractive red-head for the ride home she went to her car and drove home. She drove around for hours until angry and destroyed she pulled herself in through her window, as to not bring notice of her late arrival to her overly strict parents. She grabbed her ipod, scanning through the long playlists and finally came to a Boys of Summer remake by Codeseven, which was much harder than the original. Perfectly fitting considering Tinas being such a *****, she thought, but hated herself instantly for thinking such horrible thoughts about the most perfect person on the planet. Not bothering to change her clothes she stripped down and laid on top of the covers. She fell asleep that night, happy that she was leaving this mess in a few days, but distraught over the fact that her best friend was no longer making the journey with her. She was truly alone. After the fight with Bette Tina went home, but she wasnt alone, she brought home the boy from the beachshe never caught his name though. The night was a blur, the only thing Tina remembered was how absent she was during the whole thingthings werent supposed to be this way. She was supposed to be in Bettes arms, being loved, not feeling violated and alone The need to feel something human made her keep going with his sweaty body grunting on top of her. She knew now that things would never be the same. The sun was rising into the sky as she pushed him out her window, whispering harshly to him to be quiet. Snapping the window shut she sunk to the mauve carpeted floor, pungent tears biting at her red cheeks she whispered over and over What have I done?