Fan Fiction
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An Attempt
Shane: I cant believe youre doing this.
Alice: Its for my article.
Shane: Sure it is She continues to fix the camera on Alice whos sitting in front of her all the while giggling silently to herself. Alice continued to flatten out her white top then furiously running her fingers through her new hair cut.
Shane: Are you ready? Alice nodded. Wellon my markk. Reeeaadyyy. Seeee
Alice: What are you doing? All you have to say is Action! This isnt a marathon!
Shane: eeetttt..fine. okay. Action! and Shane pushes the recording button.
Alice: Hey. Hows it going? Ummmy name is Alice Piezzz..ters! Peters! Im Alice Peters. Im yey high. (does the universal signal in the air for height then smacking her lips.) Im thir-twenty something. Im not gonna say that just yet because then thatll ruin the fun of first dates. Ha! Born and raised here in So Cal. Im in between jobs right now. Im sort of a…free lance writer slash journalist slash big coffee drinker when on a break. Now for the clich parts…I like long walks on the beach. Only of course, after a candle light dinner outside the patio of your beach house. Kidding! And oh I love bed and breakfast…I meanbreakfast in bed! You know what?! I love both! And as you see there in my little profile I did check both boxes for gender preferred. I just thought Id expand my horizons. So yah. Im quite fun to hang around with and Im looking forward to your phone call.
At this point, Shane was practically on the floor, rolling around trying to keep quiet and let Alice do her thing. As she stood up and composed herself Shane pushes the recording button again and turns off he video cam.
Shane: Hey Peters…bed and breakfast? Seriously? Youve only been in one your whole life and that was with whats her face years ago that youve cried about for months.
Alice: Excuse me. I did not cry.
Shane: Well then…you whimpered. A whole lot.
Alice: By a whole lot you mean a week.
Shane: More like months of on and off whimpering to me. You ruined my favorite shirt with your flood of tears. Thats why I hated that *****. I miss that shirt.
Alice: No tears. That was the runny cheap deceiving mascara. She grabbed her stuff and headed for the door. Hey thanks for the time. Give me the copy later at 3? Ill call you. I owe you coffee.
Shane: Yes. You do owe me coffee. And then maybe we can have that long walk on the beach later, Miss Peters. The whole community of Los Angeles would like to thank you for actually volunteering with this Dating Serviceee thingy…sorry. I lost my momentum. Oh right this whole thing is for your dear article!
Alice: Laugh at it all you want stud. But its true. By this time next week, my phone will be ringing off the hook and then I could start my little project.
Later at the planet
Bette, Tina, Dana, and Shane were already at the usually table talking mindlessly about current issues when Alice took up the empty share next to Dana.
Dana: Hey Al.
Alice: Sup Dane? Whats the hot topic? Looking at Tina, Shane, and Bette who are working their verbal arguments. Tee and Shane versus vicious Bette.
Dana: Oh something I dont know. Id support Bette coz she looks like shes losing right now but I dont know nothing about rice.
Alice: Rice?
Tina and Shane in unison, so *****!
Tina: Look at it this way babe…someone whos sooo high rank like her is totally *****. Im sorry but I find her a little unattractive.
Bette: A lot…unattractive.
Tina: Okay fine a lot. And she seems to like her power so much and from what I see thats totally testosterone driven. I wouldnt be surprise if I see a bulge on her pale skirt on the tabloids.
Bette: What? Like a transvestite?
Shane: YES! Why didnt I think of that before? Good one Tee. Ten points for us! and slaps Tina her high five.
Bette: I didnt even know how we got here. I was just talking about how angry she seems all the time and you two come bursting out of nowhere, saying how ***** she is, and really I agree. So! Deduction of 5 points for misunderstanding the topic of conversation in the first place. And 5 points to me for listening to you two. And 2 points for Dana for not snoring.
Alice: Were keeping scores now? And how could you not know Condoleezza Rice?
Dana: I dont, okay? My only subscriptions are all tennis mags. No Time, or National Geographic you brilliant people have.
Bette: Oh dont worry Dane, Alice is just teasing. You can tune in CNN once in a while if you want.
Dane: Dont have that either.
Alice: No. CNN is TV news honey. Never mind. Its okay Dana coz youre my friend and I get you. Sometimes not really, but I do. Get you. She quickly reassures Dana and faced Shane. So you got it done?
Shane: Yes Miss Peters.
Tina, Bette, and Dana: Miss Peters?
Alice: Long story short. Work stuff about dating service and this would be my tape right here and lemme introduce to you all Miss Alice Peters, yours truly.
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I love it! 5*’s! Are you going to have Alice actually go on dates? hehe. Looking forward to the next. thanks.