By Tennessee Williams

There is a time for departure even when there’s no certain place to go.


Shane took another drag of her cigarette as she stared into the lights of downtown L.A. She loved standing on her balcony looking down into the city. It gave her a sense of supremacy.

She crushed out the cigarette and flicked over the railing. Leaning forward on the rail and lost in her thoughts, Ryan Sawyer she repeated over and over in her head. She ran her hand through her hair. It would be a crime to rush things. Taking her time and slow seduction was her plan of attack. Seduction wouldnt be tough, she was a skilled specialist at that. Slow, now that was a whole different ballgame. Just the thought of the challenge sent sensations down to her core. She raised her eyebrow and laughed quietly to herself, Play, ball.

Meanwhile, across town, Ryan was putting on her flannel pants and tank top. She wasnt quite sleepy enough for bed. She picked up the Fender guitar resting on its stand. A couple of weeks ago she heard a song on XM radio that she loved. Immediately she went to the music store and bought the guitar tabs. Ryan Cabreras True. She began to play and sing.

I wont talk, I wont breathe / I wont move til you finally see / That you belong with me / You might think I dont look / But deep inside the corner of my mind / Im attached to you / Im weak, its true / Cause Im afraid to know the answer / Do you want me too? / Cause my heart keeps falling faster / Ive waited all my life to cross this line / To the only thing thats true / So I will not hide, its time to try / Anything to be with you / All my life Ive waited, this is true / You dont know what you do / Every time you walk into the room / Im afraid to move / Im weak, its true / Im just scared to know the ending / Do you see me too? / Do you even know you met me? / Ive waited all my life to cross this line / To the only thing thats true / So I will not hide, its time to try / Anything to be with you / All my life Ive waited, this is true / I know when I go / Ill be on my way to you / The way thats true.

During the last chorus she was interrupted by the phone

Hey Tay! Yes, Im home. Whatever TaylorId be a ***** if I went home with her. She was hot, wasnt she??? Yeah.Ill meet you at the gym tomorrow. Yes, I will give you details. Goodnight, I gotta go, my mom is calling on the other line. Bye.

Hi Sweetheart. I didnt wake you, did I?

Breathing heavily, No Mom, Im making passionate love to an incredibly beautiful woman.

Oh..OH,Oh my God,. ..I .I Speechless, her mom said, Ill call you tomorrow.

Ever the jokester, Ryan said, Just kidding Mom, actually, I was up playing guitar. Whats up, everything OK? Youre calling kinda late.

Ryan Sawyer, I know you are a *****, but you dont have to be offensive.

Ryan just laughed. Ok, mom, whats going on?

Everythings fine. Then her mom uttered out, I saw Ethan tonight with some blonde bimbo at the Stevensons Christmas party.

Oh.and you are telling me this because???

Ryan, you were married to him for five years.

So what mom! Who he chooses to ***** or not *****, is no longer my concern. Weve been divorced for a year now. Move on mother, Ryan said convincingly.

Ok dearI just thought

Drop it Mom.

Mrs. Sawyer knew when and when not to push Ryan. The issue was dropped. The conversation turned to Christmas plans. Ryans parents were going to spend Christmas in L.A. Ryan was excited to show off her new house and give them a grand tour of L.A. Her parents were excited too.

I have some good news.

Really.What?

Her mother excitedly said, Your brother is back stateside. He, Emily, and Laney are coming out to L.A. with us.

OH MY GOD!!!!! Ryan was overwhelmed with emotion. It had been almost a year since she had seen them.
They continued to talk about preparations for travel and Christmas.

See you next week Mom. I love you too. Talk to you later, goodnight.

Ryan had such a peaceful feeling. Her whole family was going to be together for Christmas this year. She put her guitar up, turned down the bed, and turned off the lights.

Thoughts crept in about Ethan. Ethan Lackey, FBI agent, alcoholic, cheating, ex husband. They met during her first assignment in D.C. At the time she had sworn off women for good. Women equaled heartbreak.

Ryan and Ethan had gone out for drinks with some co-workers. They just finished a big case. Ryans first case. Feelings of high accomplishment mixed with alcohol led them straight to the bedroom. They eloped to Vegas 2 months later.

The marriage was doomed from the start. Other than the fact, that Ryan was a closeted ***** in denial, there were long hours at work, travel separations, infidelity, alcohol abuse, and over all non-communication issues. After 5 years the marriage ended in divorce.

Newly single and in D.C., Ryan was scared and alone. Her thoughts turned to Bailey again. She had heard that Bailey had gotten married to a surgeon she worked with. Ryan knew it was likely Bailey didnt love the man, but married him because of her religious convictions. Ryan couldnt judge, she was no different than Bailey. She just had different reasons for marrying Ethan. Ryan had to remind herself by saying out loud, Let her go Ryan, shes gone. Shes gone as the tears rolled down her cheek.

Where do go when your life has taken such a detour? How do you get back on course with no map? What does life hold for me? Where will I go? Will I be loved? Will I love? These were the questions Ryan asked herself.

She finally told her parents and brother she was ***** and always had been. She wasnt surprised by their loving acceptance. She was however surprised at how quickly it came. They affirmed how much they loved and supported her. Their love and support was the fuel she would use to get to the next destination in her life. Two weeks later she was promoted and relocated to L.A.