Alices phone rang first thing in the morning. She reached over Dana trying to get to it before Dana woke up. She didnt notice that the noise had already awoken Dana who reached up and started tickling her. Alice in her surprise fell on top of her. She fought to get the phone, Ahh! Dana!

Oh, you are ticklish.

Stop. I have toahh.getcome onthephone. Alice finally grabbed the phone and swatted Danas hands as she answered it. Hello.

Al, slumber partys over. You up?

What is it, Shane? Alice shrieked when Danas fingers poked her side, How the ***** are you up at 8am?

Man, Im deaf now. Keep the noise down. Damn, Al. Youre loud. By the way, you and Dana made front page of Globe.

What are you talking about? Hold on a sec. Alice tried pinning Danas arms using only one hand.

Shane grew impatient and raised her voice, enunciating the words, You and Dana. Cover of Globe. Tabloid. Kissing.

Youre lying. Its too early for this. She climbed out of bed and headed towards the kitchen for some privacy.

Pick one up.

Whats the headline?

Fair Game for Fairbanks or something like that.

Alice began coughing, choking on air, knowing that Shane wouldnt make up a headline like that, Oh my god, shes gonna flip. This is so bad. Oh my god. Oh. My. God.

Look I gotta go. My early ones here. Talk later.

Ok. Alice returned to the bedroom and threw on a sweatshirt over her pajamas, Dana-hon, do you want anything from the store?

What do you have to get?

Some food.

Cant it wait?

If I dont go now, Ill never go. So did you want anything?

Just a piece of fruit.

Could you be more specific?

I dont care. An apple, banana, orange, it doesnt matter.

Alice drove over to the store and picked up a copy of Globe. She returned to Tina and Dana sitting at the kitchen table. Hi, guys.

Tina eyed the bag, Whatd you get?

Alice ignored Tina for the moment, Dana, I have some good news and some bad news.

Dana turned to Tina and bit her lip. She looked back at Alice, Good news first.

Youre officially a celebrity.

Dana smiled broadly, Cool.

Dont be so excited. Alice dropped the tabloid on the table in front of Dana.

Danas face fell as she saw the pictures of her and Alice at the club making out and the Fair Game for Fairbanks headline, *****. My moms going to have a heart attack. No wait, my dad will have a heart attack and my mom will kill me.

And Im never going to be able to talk to your mother ever again. Shes going to think I converted you.

Probably. Dana kept reading, They really made me look like Im aslut or something. What the *****? The weddings off. Im not a floozy!

Evidently Tonya didnt notify the papers the wedding of the century was off.

Let me see that, Tina spoke up. Dana handed the paper to her. She attempted to cheer up her friends, Theres no such thing as bad publicity?

Dane, guess were not going to have to tell anybody were together.

Yeah, the whole world knows.

But I was able to get you a whole assortment of fruit. And if it makes you feel better, I look trampier than you.

Did they have to use the one where I shoved my tongue down your throat?

Alice looked at the pictures again more closely, Look where your hands are in this one.

Oh god, Alice. My parents are going to see this.

Dana, its not that bad, Im sure no one will notice, Tina added.

Yeah, Dane. Besides it could have been worse, someones hands could have been in someones pants.

Alice! Thats just vulgar. Tina blurted out.

Its the truth.

I should be grateful for that. Otherwise I would have to move to outer space, Dana grumbled.

Aww, well Ill join you so youre not alone. Alice put her arms around Dana in a loving embrace.

Tina pulled the various fruit out of the grocery bag, Why dont you sit down and enjoy breakfast with us? She watched Alice take a seat on Danas lap as Dana proceeded to rest her chin on Alices shoulder. Whatever took you guys so long to wind up together?

Dana was too much of a spaz for me at the time.

Thanks, Al. Dana responded slightly offended.

But Ive grown to love her spazzy self. Alice playfully tousled Danas hair. And whats going on with you and Shane?

What are you thinking is going on? Nevermind, I know exactly what you were probably thinking. Tina shook her head. You have such a dirty mind. And no, we’re not sleeping together.

Dana blurted out, Yeah, Alice, dirty mind.

Why dont you go spank me?

Not in front of Tina.

Youre contemplating it. I cant believe this!

Tina laughed, Shes been spending too much time with you, Al.

I know, right! She felt Dana dig her forehead in her back so she reached back and touched Danas head. Dana tried sitting up, forcing Alice off her lap. Dana headed to the bedroom in a huff, Aww, baby. Im sorry. Ill try to be good. Alice called after her. Come back.

Go to her, Tina directed.

You sure?

Tina waved Alice off. Alice saw Dana in bed with the covers pulled over her head. Dane. Dana!

Go away.

Move over a little, she pushed at the big lump in the cover. Dana moaned, I told you to move. You had a warning. Alice climbed in next to her. Is this about me and Tina teasing you?

No, Im pretty much used to it by now.

Is this about the article then?

Dana rolled over, facing Alice, Al, I have a bad feeling about this.

Its just a tabloid, Dana. They always make stuff up on celebrities and twist the truth. Its nothing new. You cant get all worked up about it.

Arent you upset?

I mean its not a flattering picture of me.

Im being serious.

Im more upset that youre upset about it. It doesnt really bother me. Maybe one or two people like Shane would notice.

Dana was mortified, “Shane knows?

Alice regretted bringing Shane into the conversation, Shane kind of told me about it.

Shane reads tabloids?

Not really.

See what I mean. If she doesnt read them and she noticed.Im totally
screwed.

Shane noticing is a fluke. She probably saw it at work. What? She probably did. Hair salons have magazines.

I guess youre right.

Tina peeked into the room, seeing her friends lying in bed having what looked like a serious discussion. She quietly shut the door.