Chapter 19


How is she?

Shes fine, Lena answered as she closed her cell phone.

You know, we could always reschedule.

No, Lena replied as she shook her head. I want to be done with this.

Jotting down a few notes, Melissa looks up and notices Lena twisting and playing with the ring on her right hand. Lena…

Yes?

Are you having second thoughts?

Second thoughts? About what?

Melissa gestured with her pen. The ring. Youre playing with it.

Lena looked down and saw that she was indeed playing with it. She stopped. I guess Im nervous.

It is a big day.

Yes it is, Lena agreed.

Why dont we get back to what we were talking about before we were interrupted?

All right.

Good. Melissa looked down at her notes once again. Lets see… you had taken Bianca into Bette and Tinas house, correct?

Yes.

Tell me what happened next.

I was leading Bianca inside. I could hear Bette and Tinas voices in the background, but I didnt pay them much attention. My focus was on Bianca, her well-being.

Lena carefully maneuvered Bianca into the house – taking her into the living room. Sweetheart – are you okay? she asked as she sat Bianca down on the sofa. Please say something – youre scaring me, she said unaware that their positions had been reversed.

Lena… Bianca whispered.

Yes my Angel, she answered breathing a sigh of relief.

You should talk to her, she said as she turned in Lena direction.

Shes not going anywhere, Lena told her. I asked Bette and Tina to make sure of that, she said looking down the hall. Shell pay for what shes done to you… she murmured.

Lena… I hate to interrupt, but I need to ask you something.

Of course.

Did Bianca tell you how she felt the moment you said that?

Lena could recall vividly. Bianca had told her that she shivered at the coldness in her voice. That this was a side of her that she had never seen before. How it had been a stark reminder that she still didnt know everything about her – how she doubted she ever would.

Bianca had explained how she knew that if she didnt say something the situation would explode. She didnt want one of the victims to be Lena.

Yes she did, when we arrived back at the hotel suite.

Okay, well get back to that a little later, please continue.

Youre going to make her pay for being in love with you? Bianca asked softly.

She doesnt love me, Lena answered.

Bianca reached out and took her hand in hers and again Lena marveled at how well they fit together.

Its amazing, Bianca said slowly looking up and into Lenas eyes. Its amazing what people will do when theyre in love. They can be moved to accomplish feats they never tried or compelled to do things they know theyd never do in their right minds.

Biancas words found their mark. She hurt you, Lena told her.

Only a little but Lena, she hurt you too. Ill get over this, you havent.

Hey Bianca, are you all right? Tina asked as she entered the living room. Im sorry… I didnt mean to…

No, its fine. Im fine, Bianca replied.

Are you sure? I mean… weve never seen Marina act that way, never.

Lena could feel Biancas stare. Is she still outside? Has she left?

Bettes with her.

Lena…

Ill talk to her, Lena said as she stood up. Tina, will you look after Bianca for me?

Of course I will. I… we Bette and I cant apologize enough for what happened. We both want you to know that we understand if you want to call the police.

Its up to Bianca – I will stand by whatever decision she makes, Lena said. She waited as Bianca thought about it. If she decided to she wanted to press charges, Lena would not try to talk her out of it.

No. No police, but if she ever grabs me again…

She wont have the chance, Lena told her. Ill be back soon, she said as she kissed Bianca on the temple.

I know. I think I owe Bette and Tina an explanation.

If you wish.

I do.

Lena bent down and whispered in Biancas ear, I love you more each moment, do you know that?

Bianca pulled back slightly. Its nice to hear.

Well then, be prepared to hear it for a long time.

I cant wait, Bianca replied smiling. Go on, Ill be here – waiting for you.

Ill miss you.

Youd better.

Lena reached out and rubbed Biancas shoulder. If you need me – all you have to do is say so.

Ill always need you.

They kissed briefly. If youll excuse me, Lena said.

Okay – so you left the house. What happened next? Melissa asked.

I went outside – I saw Bette, Marina and some other woman – they were sitting down. The closer I got to them, the more it became apparent to me that the other woman was the one I had seen come out and greet Marina earlier.

The one you became jealous about?

Lena nodded. Yes. Shes the one.

Is something wrong?

Lena looked away momentarily. Im not proud of most of the things Ive done in my life – not by… how do you say? Long shot?

Yes.

This… was one of the things I could be, Lena said, knowing she wasnt making sense. I loved Marina with everything I was, but… it… it was too much for her… now…

I can guess what youre going to say next, but that would be too easy for you. Why dont you tell me?

Lena was silent as her thoughts jumped from one thing to another. I… I wonder if the same thing will happen with… Bianca.

Thats why youre playing with the ring. Youre frightened. Although the situation is different, the ring symbolizes a commitment. One youve gone through twice, one where you dont want the same ending. Youre asking yourself the same question.

Whats the answer?

I know this may sound trite, but only time will tell. Its not the best answer, but its an honest one, Melissa looked down at her note pad. Lena.

Yes.

I want to ask you a series of questions and I want you to answer them with the first thing that pops into your head.

Free association?

Yes. Weve done it before. Id like to do it again.

Okay.

Is the sky blue?

Sometimes…? Is that okay?

Melissa smiled. There are no right or wrong answers to this. I just wanted to see how youd respond.

Ah… a test question.

Exactly. Are you ready for the next ones?

Whenever you are.

Do you love your mother?

Yes.

Do you love Miranda?

Of course.

Do you wish you were home?

No.

Do you like Kendall?

Yes, Lena answered smiling. This isnt too bad after all, she thought to herself.

Do you like Maggie?

Nn… yes.

Okay… let me try that again. Do you like Maggie?

No. Lena answered shaking her head.

Melissa wrote in the margin of her notebook. Are you in love?

Yes.

Okay. Why dont we get back to youre meeting with Marina, Melissa said after asking the last question.

Wait!

Whats wrong Lena?

Why didnt you ask me if I love Bianca?

Melissa put her pen down and leaned forward slightly in her chair. All right. Do you love Marina?

Yes of course… wait, Lena stopped flustered by her answer, while Melissa leaned back in her chair.