Chapter 4 – Tina’s Life

Tina took the infidelity by Bette hard. At first it was rage and anger. This rage was white hot and seethed through every pore of Tina’s body. This rage shaded every action Tina took.

“I will not talk to Bette. I will not see her. I will not even think of her today.”

This was the hardest, not thinking about Bette. Not thinking “I love her”. “How could she have done this?”

 When this line of thinking started then all the self doubt would come next. “Was I not good to her?”

 “I know we had problems but they were our problems.”

“Why wasn’t I enough?”

 “What am I missing?”

RAGE was better.

And so it went on for weeks. This rage was enough to drive her to contact an attorney and begin proceeding against Bette. She deserved half. They had jointly put that house together. They both had worked hard for what they had shared and Tina wanted her half. After all these material things represented success to Bette and God knows I want to take some of Bette’s success away from her.

Tina had decided to continue to live with Alice for the time being. This would allow her to conserve some money until her court date and frankly she didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts.

Alice: “Tina please stay. I like having you here. Who else understands my craziness?”

Tina: “Honestly, I think Dana is getting a clue.” Alice turns at little pink in the cheeks. Alice: “Do you really think?” Tina just shakes her head.

Alice: “Seriously Tina, what do you want to do? Do you ever want to reconnect with Bette?”

Tina: “I don’t know right now I’m not ready. I’m mad. Besides I haven’t heard from her for at least a few weeks. It really didn’t take long for her to loose interest did it?”

Alice: “I don’t know .. Do .. you .. maybe … want me to ..talk to her?”

Tina: “NO!”

This rage was also enough to drive Tina to get a job and begin putting her life together. The rage drove her but her own self preservation made it work. The job was easy actually. Tina’s volunteering had been successful enough to be move to a paying job. She actually loved this type of work. This self preservation turned into a joy that comes with success and the joy led to self worth that comes with a job well done. Oscar, of course, had been instrumental in securing a grant to establish schooling in a few of the battered woman’s shelters around town. Tina has beginning to spend half days at two different women’s shelters. She could relate to the betrayal that each of these women had endured. Tina was to manage three aides and possibly a fourth if the program turned out as successful as she had hoped.