This introspection take is nowhere near that of the lovely work by Marie; just wanted to give you a heads-up to properly set your expectations. Also, in this story, Tina doesn’t find out about the cheating during the Provocation exhibit, but she will at some later date.


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I never thought it would be so easy to cheat. Sure, the first time had me a nervous wreck for fear of being caught, but when Tina didnt let on she knew”she couldnt smell her in my clothes; she couldnt feel the lingering affects her touches had, scorching my skin; she couldnt even read the guilt-tinged excitement in my eyes”I felt I was in total control, and she was innocently clueless. That sounds bad, undoubtedly heartless, I know, but it was intoxicating all the while. The only thing I could control at that time it seemed was conceding all of it to her, to Candace. She made me forget and she did so with utter physical bliss. She was also the first, an eye-opener to who I allowed myself to become…or, was a part of me always duplicitous? Hmm, Ill have to mull that one over later, now that I have nothing but time to reflect, sadly. But yes, I learned a lot about me and relationships in general, after I dipped my hand into Pandoras box, and Im still mildly surprised by how easy it was for me to succumb.

The first time, we stole away one afternoon during work to a motel near the ocean. I felt.., I dont know what I felt exactly, but it didnt matter because I couldnt rein in the intense attraction I had for her. And, since I didnt appear to be able to change what I was about to do, I just gave in to it; pushed back the fears that popped up in the parking garage after she suggested going somewhere more private, on the drive over, at the reception desk in the lobby. The same fears were hardest to suppress on the long walk to the room itself, but it was on this walk when I made the decision to just let go. I knew Id suffer the consequences later anyway, but at that moment, I just didnt want to think responsibly for even one second.

God, she was amazing. Candace certainly knew how to make a woman feel good about herself, especially since nothing else was doing it for me until then. Yes, yesI sound like a selfish *****, but let me explain, then you can judge me later. Its not as if I havent heard it all before anyway. Okay, where was I? Oh yeah God, she was amazing. I had forgotten that ***** could be that electrifying, my whole body was on fire and there was no extinguisher in site. Each time she fucked me, I found myself begging for more. Each time she fucked me she brought me to another reality where my problems ceased to exist. Each time she fucked me, I felt my need to control my environment ebb with every wave of ecstasy laving my tired soul. Her hands and ooh that mouth, that delicious supple mouth with an equally talented tongue, both hungry with insatiable appetites; she devoured every inch of me, leaving no crevice, curve or mound of flesh ignored as she deftly caressed, massaged, pinched and sucked, bit, licked the length of my form. Damn! She was exquisite in bed.

Im embarrassed, my eyes widen just thinking about our first time, and Im ashamed to admit it still has quite an effect on me”my lips tug into a wanton smile whenever I recall the sensations Candace brought me that afternoon. I cant hide it. *****, not good, not good at all. I should be disgusted at the memory and I should definitely be punished for the dull throb now pulsating between my legs. *****, I shouldnt even be reliving my indiscretions by telling you this story, but Im here for that reason.

Have you ever been with someone who totally makes you forget who you are? And, you realize youre losing yourself in the process, but you just cant seem to do a thing about it but acquiesce? Friends may say that Tina knows all too well what this feels like, having spent the last seven years with me. Well, Ive experienced it too, only differently. I gave up everything I knew about myself and every value I held dear when Candace and I would sneak away for our morning trysts or lunchtime rendezvous. I was powerless and drunk by the concession. I felt free. I felt invigorated, even rejuvenated. That first time, she brought me to climax at least ten times, no exaggeration, and after that long afternoon of unabashed adultery, I knew I wanted more. I was unquestionably addicted to the freedom and to her for helping me live it for once.

You may notice that my story seems one-sided with how much Candace did for me. Well, I couldnt please her then. Ijust couldnt, I wasnt ready for that level infidelity. Sigh. I can hear you scoffing at the absurdity because cheating is cheating, but if youve never stepped out on someone you love completely or cherished so much your soul ached whenever you were apart, then you wouldnt understand. Its one thing to allow someone to do unto you, its another for you to do unto her. I wasnt ready to relinquish that part of me yet in my betrayal to my wife. Candace understood, and I assured her I just needed a little time, which was true. I eventually committed fully to the infidelity, taking her to realms of ecstasy she claims shed never experience before in her life. Her words and gratitude were flattering to my ego, I guess, butultimately, it wasnt about what I could do for her. It was always about me. Yeah, yeah, Ive already admitted to being selfish, so no need to repeat it aloud or roll your eyes. I get it! Im not asking for your compassion or sympathy, just your patience while I tell you how I destroyed the only beauty I knew in my life.



TBC