Tina paced the lobby while she waited for Bette to come out of the bathroom. Ten thousand volts of electricity raged through her body as she tried to sort through the currents of emotions that raced through her. Tina felt somewhat better that she and Bette had the opportunity to talk and get an idea of what they were working with, but a gnawing feeling still lingered within. She still wondered if Bette had all the play out of her system. Theyd been committed for almost eight years and now that the dogs of war had been unleashed, could they be called back? Tina couldnt help but question if Bette could turn off the feelings of freedom and inhibition she felt with Candace and work with Tina to make things right. Tina tried to will the feelings away, but the harder she tried, the more they fought back. She stared at her watch hoping Bette wouldnt be much longer because the longer she waited, the more her mind raced and Tina didnt want to get into another heated discussion with Bette. Tina went outside to let the cool air calm her down and quell the unrelenting feelings once and for all.

Oh God, there you are? Bette panted. I thought you left me, Bette caught her breathe.

No. I was just getting some fresh air, Tina reassured. Are you okay? You still look a little flush, Tina cautiously rubbed Bettes arm as she ushered her out the door.

I guess Ill be fine once I get outside, Bette sucked the cool air into her lungs. Im sorry for the outburst, Bette apologized and opened the car door.

Its okay. No need to apologize. Im sure its not easy for you, Tina comforted.

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Bette maneuvered her way into traffic. Bette could sense Tina had something on her mind, but as much as she wanted to know, she was afraid to ask. Tina had really thrown her for a loop with her questions and demeanor. She liked the new confident Tina, but it was hard for her to truly grasp Tinas ability to hold her at bay and not yield. Bette stole glances of Tina as the sound of the radio was the only sound between them. Tinas mind began to race again and she reached for the radio to turn up the song playing.

…tell me if I made you feel second best…I should have took the time…

Bette cringed as the lyrics burned into her ears. Her stomach churned as she recalled the last time lyrics spoke for them.

So Tina, Bette abruptly cut into the song, what do you think of me playing hooky? Pretty crazy huh? Bette blurted out.

Huh? Yeah! Pretty much, Tina haphazardly replied. I guess youre really living on the wild side these days, Tina replied without thinking of the implication of her comment.

Bette sighed and her shoulders drooped. She hated how anything that could be misconstrued; was. Guillt is a mutha effer, she said to herself. When does it end? she thought again and looked at Tina who was already looking at her.

I didnt mean to imp

Its okay, she quickly responded. Not your fault. Im the one with the exhumed skeleton, Bette confessed.

Please dont be so hard on yourself, Tina tried to pacify Bette. Its not Tina cut herself short realizing she was about to fall into her old habit of downplaying situations.

Bette continued driving without further comment, Tina concentrated on the music, and before either realized it, they were sitting in the driveway of their home. Bette had forgotten to drop Tina at Alices and Tina was so deep in thought that she hadnt realized it.

*****! Bette fussed. Tina, Im sorry, I wasnt even thinking, Bette eased the car into reverse.

Wait! Tina put her hand on Bettes and pushed the car back into park. Ive been wrestling with something since the restaurant. May I ask you something? Tina asked, her voice laden with dread.

What? Yes. Anything Tina.

Bette, Tina turned to face Bette. Bette, are you sure youre ready to work things out with me? Tinas voice was even toned to hide the fear she was really feeling.

Yes! Yes, of course, Bette impetuously.

Wait! Slow down and think about it Bette, Tina shot back. Let me ask you differently, Tina adjusted in her seat. What I mean is, are you sure youre really ready to work this out? Bettes expression was deadpan. Tina continued. After letting go of the shards of our relationship, you gave your time and attention to some else. I need to know if youre more ashamed of cheating or that you got caught? Tinas question held more caliber than a loaded 9mm and Bette felt the blow hit deep into the core of her being.

Bettes body tensed and she gasped for air. Tinas innermost fears were silently making their presence known.

Nevermind. Dont bother, Tinas voice shook. Youve already answered it. Im going to call Alice and have her come and get me. Ill wait at Jennys for her. Tina got out of the car and walked away and dialed Alices number and left a message for her to come and get her.

Bette rushed out the car and chased behind Tina.

Tina wait! Bette called out. Please. Hear me out, Bette pleaded. Tina turned around. I wasnt expecting that question Tina. I wasnt trying to be evasive; I just didnt know what to say. I hadnt really given it much thought, Bette rationalized.

Maybe its something you should think about, Tina replied gently. We cant make any steps toward a future if youre selective about your feelings Bette, Tina stated firmly.

Bette leaned against the fence and ran her hands through her hair; anxiety swept over her.

I dont know what to tell you Tina, Bette sounded exhausted. But I do know that I am truly sorry for what I did and every word of that email is a true reflection of my feelings, she admitted.

Thats all well and good, but you still havent answered my question. Which are you more ashamed of? Tina was unrelenting, but for a moment she thought about Eric. She thought of how easy it would have been to get intimate with him in spite of not having been with a man in years. She recalled his gentle ways and how secure and beautiful he made her feel. And she knew that in spite of him respecting their boundaries, friendship, and sensitivity to her situation, she could have pressed the issue of closeness if she wanted to, but she didnt. Bette needed to know this. Before you answer my question, I have something I need to tell you, Tina pressed on. Bette nodded. Eric was in town recently,

Bettes mouth fell open. He wha, what? Bette stuttered. An, and you saw him?

Yes, he showed up at the Center, Tina casually replied.

What happened? Bette gathered herself. What did he want? Bette tried not to sound mad.

He was in town on business, did some snooping, and found out where I was, Tina volunteered. Actually, our friend Jose helped him, but he found me nonetheless, Tina rambled on.

So, what did he want? Bettes patience was growing thin.

He wanted to catch up and see how I was doing, Tina asked in a huh, what do you think? tone. Oh, and we went out to dinner, she continued.

Dinner?

Yes. Dinner. You know the thing people do in the evening, Tina sarcastically returned and Bette huffed.

Is there a point to this? Bette asked, clearly pissed off now.

Tina made a face. Yes, there is and the point is that youre getting pretty ticked about me having dinner with Eric and nothing happened. Although Tina purposely paused and Bette leaned in to make Tina continue. Although, she started again, something could have.

What do you mean could have? Bettes voice was rich with frustration and anger now.

Calm down Bette, Tina eased. I could have very easily have not told you I saw him considering I really dont owe you an explanation, but I chose to be honest. I also didnt do anything with him because I dont want him dragged into our mess, but more so because I respect our relationship. I would rather work things out with you good or bad than escalate an already volatile situation, Tina finally explained. “I also respect myself, my body, my fidelity, and so forth, than to philander myself with someone because I’m too afraid to deal with the real issues in my life,” Tina forthrightly stated.

Bette cringed at Tina’s decisiveness. She hadn’t expected her to come off so strong. So, what youre saying is that I should have come to you with what I did instead of having you find out the way you did? Bette tried to reason.

Thats partly it, Tina idled for a moment. Better yet, it shouldnt have happened at all. So, now, answer the original question. Ashamed of what you did, or ashamed because you got caught?

*****! Bette cursed in her head. This borders on being a trick question, her thoughts continued. Think carefully before you answer Bette. Think and be honest

Bette took a heavy breath and then let it out. The truth is, Im ashamed because I got caught, the words gushed out of Bettes mouth and Tina stared at her doe-eyed, but surprisingly unaffected by Bettes admittance. I had hoped to end it before you found out and before things ccould get any worse between us. Getting caught was not something I anticipated,” Bette’s ruefull admission filled the night air.

Really?

Yes, but Im not proud to admit that, Bette sighed.

And youre being 100% honest? Tina quizzed.

From the bottom of my heart, Bette put her hand over her chest. I know its probably not what you wanted to hear, but its the truth. I knew it was wrong from the start, but I let myself go. Be weak and, well you know the rest, Bette confessed and for the first time felt some of the guilt fall from her shoulders.

Thank you for your honesty. Thank you very much, it means a lot to me and Im sure it wasnt easy for you, Tina smiled.

No, not at all and it hurts to admit it, but Tina, I really do want to work this out, Bettes tone was pleading. By the way, does Eric know about us?

Yes. Hes being supportive and a good friend, Tina informed Bette and could see the wheels turning in her head. No, hes not trying to make a move, Tina quickly announced. He knows first hand what Im going through and has no intentions on complicating things. With or without you Bette, hes in my life just so you know, Tina summated.

Okay, okay, Bette conceded. I just wanted to know where he stood, Bettes voice gave way to a hint of jealously.

Tina smiled and said nothing. Shed accomplished much more than she anticipated and was ready to leave when a familiar voice came out of the darkness.

Brava Bette! Brava! About time the iron gates came down, the chilling voice spoke out.