Bette looked at Kit, Do you think I messed this up forever? Kit shook her head, honestly she had no idea how Tina would react to this.

Ivan arrived at the door a few minutes later.
Ivan: Kit do you need a ride home?
Kit: Im not sure, Bette are you okay?
Bette: Yea, I am okay, actually I think I would like a little time alone.
Kit: Ivan one minute okay?
Ivan: sure will be waiting outside, nice to see you again Bette, hope things start to look up for you.
Bette: thank you Ivan and thanks for bringing Kit by.
Kit: you gonna be ok baby girl?
Bette smiled and nodded and gave her sister a hug and thanked her.

Bette closed the door. Alone again she sighed. She thought about taking a walk, but she was sure she would run into someone she knew. She walked into the bedroom, she looked at the bed, would I forgive me? she wondered. She went back into the living room and decided to try to write a letter to Tina.

My dearest T,
Words do not begin to even express my feelings toward you. You are such a giving person. Loving, tender caring. Me? I have learned a thing or two about me. I am a taker, a workaholic, insensitive and judging and I could go on forever. I know I have good traits or I would not have spent the last seven years with someone like you. I hope you find it in your heart to call me so we can talk. I know I have a lot of explaining to do. Call me anytime day or night, I think we owe it to ourselves to talk.

All my love,
B.

Bette reread the note. She picked up the phone.

Alice: hello?
Bette: Alice, hey I was hoping you could come by and pick up this note for Tina.
Alice: sure Bette, but you should give her time.
Bette: for Christs sake Al, it is a note, I am not calling or dropping by, just wanted to give her a note.
Alice: I am sorry Bette, I will be right over
Bette: It will be in the mailbox, I have some things to do. Al, thanks.
Alice: your welcome Bette.

Bette hung up the phone, she knew she had to do this. She went into her bedroom and put on some jeans and a shirt and slipped on some shoes, grabbed her sunglasses and headed to Candaces house. Should I call first? Bette decided to just stop by.

Twenty minutes later she spotted Candaces truck. She pulled in front of the house, and took a deep breath, and walked up to the door.

Candace answered with a stunned look
Candace: Bette, what are you doing here?
Bette: we need to talk
Candace opened the door and let Bette in.
Bette looked at her, she was not sure what to say. She followed Candace to the living room and sat down on the chair opposite of Candace.
Candace: Bette, what is wrong? It looks like you have not slept all night. Everything okay?
Bette: Candace, Tina knows. She saw us last night, she put it together. I, we have not talked since she walked out on me.
Candace: You want me to say I am sorry? No can do Bette, but I hate that you are this upset. Things in your happy life must not have been all that happy or you would not have come to me, remember you made the first move after I kissed you the first time. One must wonder why?
Bette: I know that Candace, I think I just need time, to sort out my feelings. I cant see you~ not right now, I have to figure out what I want, and when you are around me my thoughts get cloudy, my judgment poor. Tina and I were together for 7 years, I can not just end it like that, on a whim. I hope you respect me enough to understand what I am asking.
Candace: I understand completely. I will stay away, but you can call me anytime. Take your time, maybe you will realize you have been kidding yourself for a long time. Take care and let me know how you are doing.
Bette: thank you Candace.

Bette left the house, and thought about what Candace had said. Had she been fooling herself?

Bettes thoughts were interrupted by her cell phone.
Bette: Hello?
Tina : hi Bette I just got your note, I think we should talk too, but right now I am too damn angry at you to even consider having a normal conversation. I will call you when I am ready.
Bette: (shocked at the harshness of Tinas voice) Um, ok T, just let me know, whenever you are ready. I will give you all the time and space you need. Thank you for calling.
Tina: bye Bette.

Wow I have really pissed her off Bette thought to herself. Bette pulled into the drive, and slowly got out of the car, she just felt empty, defeated. It was an odd feeling, she usually was so in control. Or was she? Soul searching is overly rated she said to herself.


Inside the house, she sat on the couch and thought of Tina, and the issues they had faced in their 7 years. When did the trouble begin? It brought tears to her eyes just thinking of what they allowed to happen.


TBC