Chapter 35 – The Paintings

Tina spots Kit with the Jazz ensemble. Kit has been messing around with her friends in the band. Scat singing along with a few of the numbers, Kit wasnt aware of any of the action happening with the girls, Tina and Bette. Tina walked up closer to Kit and gave her a wave and a smile. Tina was reminded just how talented Kit is as she stood there listening. Kit looked totally in her element, relaxed and happy as the music became one with her. Kit finished up the set with her friends and then hopped over to Tina.
Hey Girl, this looks to be a successful event. Everyone seems to be anteing up the bids. Are you having fun? Then Kit notices Tinas look and realizes something is not right. What, Tina What did I miss?

Tina looks back at Kit but doesnt know where to begin. So she just launches on Kit: I need answers. I feel so out in left field that Im not even in the game when it comes to Bette. She looks different, acts different says things I dont even get. She was here but I couldnt
Kit interrupts: Shes here?
Tina: No WAS HERE shes left.
Now Kits a little worried for both Tina and Bette. Tina, calm down. Take a deep breath. As Kit runs her hands up and down Tinas arms. Tina obeys taking in a deep cleansing breath and letting it out slowly. Kit asks: What did she say?

Tina: I dont really know. Something about not being good enough. But it wasnt what she said verbally it was what her body said. Tina looks up at Kit with a little wonder in her eyes. The spark is still there. Tina whispers to Kit.
Kit looks down at the wonder in Tinas eyes and asks: What do you think?
Tina feels she has her heart on her sleeve as she starts: Kit I dont know what to think. There are so many things that have happened that I didnt or really still dont know about. She seems so different. Do I even know her anymore? I need to have more of a conversation with her then a few words. Has she moved on? Is there someone else? What is she afraid of?

Kit lets all of Tinas concerns and questions wash over her. It was as if she was considering each one and coming to a decision. Kit gently takes Tinas hand in hers and leads her away. She leads her into the room with all of Bettes paintings. Kit comes to a stop right in front of the paintings. Letting go of Tinas hand Kit starts: Tina, yes there have been things that have happened. Things that you and Bette need to talk about, right down to all the little details. But when its all said and done, when it was just the two of you, you knew the real Bette then. You of all people know the real Bette now. You want to have a conversation with Bette then just look around. With that Kit raises her arm and waves at all Bettes paintings. Start here, what do these tell you?

Tina just looked at Kit and then at the paintings, realizing what Kit meant. Stepping back she looks at all six paintings getting a perspective from afar and then she steps up to each painting and begins to examine them. Tina really looks at each painting trying to let Bette talk to her through the paintings.

The Virgin-
This is an abstract painting which has vibrant colors of red, blue, orange, yellows which are in patches making up a quilt. This quilt winds around a beautiful woman positioned in the center. The woman is lying on her back with her arms placed about her head and her left knee bent and leaning over the quilt. This quilt barely covers the woman whose features are obscure except for her lips which are painted with exquisite detail. The womans hair is sprayed around her head with the blonde waves becoming sparks of lightning as they leave her head which turn into stars. As your eye begins to leave the woman and view her surrounds a face becomes viewable to left of the womans elbow. This face hidden in the quilt is Bette.

Abuse and Recovery
This is an abstract painting which depicts the swirling hatred of abuse with dark tones of crimson red with black hues. These swirls take the form of arrows and clubs as they surround a center which rises out of the darkness of hate. This center emerges out of the darkness with its brightness of golden amber light. This light has a road which seems to run into infinity. This is the safe road of recovery and overcoming. The light emotes a feeling of safety and security.

Unwelcome Visitor
This is a painting of two figures wrapped up in each others arms as they view a sunrise while sitting on the beach. These figures are depicted in shadowy hues of purple and blues in contrast to the sunrise. The sunrise depicts the sun as it travels up from the water in warm colors of yellow and reds with the water rippling in blues and grays. The two figures look to be more involved with each other than the extraordinary sunrise so much so that they fail to notice the sand crabs which are crawling up their back ready to strike.

Tears
From afar this painting is a mass of squiggly lines in many shades of grey to black. These lines create a maze of sorts with lines in dark intricate detail. As you look at this picture intently you begin to see the image emerge out of the chaos of lines. The image is two soulful looking eyes with tears brimming forth. The overall emotion of this dark and sad painting is of overwhelming loss.

Expecting
This is a painting of an abstract woman which appears pregnant. The woman is on her side with her arms cradling her belly. This figure is surrounded with aggressive brush strokes in different colors of red, yellow and blues. The roughness of the surrounding strokes is in sharp contrast to the calm, neat detailed strokes of the woman. The effect is to give the woman serenity versus the surrounding chaos.


Gleam of Hope
This is a painting of a large red wooden paneled door. This door is surrounded by items which look as if they have been discarded on the way to the door which is half opened. These items include scattered paperwork which is torn, a heart with a crack in it, an unmade bed which is broken, and a contract which a red circle with a line through it and other item of daily life are cast in half shadows. Through the door we are given the view of a fully mature tree full of beautiful richly red blossoms. The tree has the sun shining intensely through its branches giving the tree an aura of brightness and hope.


As Tina moves from painting to painting she sees herself or an aspect of her life in each painting. Once again Tina is struck by how many open emotions are pouring forth from these paintings. Now knowing with certainty that Bette had created these, Tina realizes that by viewing these paintings Bette is showing more of herself then the whole sum total of their seven years together. The impact of this realization shocks Tina to her core. The creature who was too frightened to talk to her moments ago had enough courage to open herself up enough to create these works.

Turning to Kit, Tina begins with You know Im in each of these paintings?
Child youre in ALL of Bettes paintings! Kit quietly confirms what Tina had suspected.

Tina takes Kits hand and walks her over to the first painting: You know she always referred to me as her Virgin and I always called her My first, last and forever, they were terms of endearments which we lost along the way. Tina then moves to the third painting, passing over Abuse and Recovery with no comment. Stopping in front of Unwelcome Visitor she ***** her head quickly towards the painting: This is the Outer Banks. As she moves past Tears and settles in front of Expecting.
Do you think Bette is trying to express her need to be my everything? How she tried to be strong for me and protect me from the world? Tina asks Kit.

Kit: I would say. But Tina can I ask why you have passed by the other two?

Tina: I guess Im putting them in some sort of chronological order. Tears is about our break up, those are my eyes and Abuse and Recovery is more about Bette dealing with her abuses, either to me or herself. I guess the real question Im left with is this one. As Tina moves in front of the remaining painting. These beautiful blossoms arent blonde. Does this tree represent some new relationship? Has she someone else? Tina now turns to Kit as she asks the last question.

Kit looks at Gleam of Hope and smiles: Honey, if youre asking me if there is someONE else the answers NO, but there is someTHING else. Child this is it. This is what Bette has turned to. She pours herself into these, all her fear, love and anguish. She becomes one with her work, it as if she is giving birth, she suffers over this works. It reminds me of how totally involved I become with my music, well thats Bette with her work. When Shane and I realized how much she was saying we knew we had to find a way to bring you two together. Its why we confided Bettes secret with Alice and Dana. Shane and I both felt that if you saw these, and let me tell you there are many more, that you would be able to understand.

You know I bought one of her paintings. Tina shared.
I was wondering how you found her. It was through her paintings right? Kit asked.
Tina: Yes
Kit just nodded her head like she knew that would be the case. Tina still reflecting on all the revelations thinks out loud: But I still dont get whats she afraid of?
Kit smiles at this: Baby girl, that one you have to ask Bette herself.