Summary of the previous chapter: Bette and Tina start to reconnect.

Eventually the time came when Bette and Tina were faced with the prospect of going to bed. Bette desperately wanted to ask Tina to join her so that she could continue to hold Tina through the night. She was afraid to ask for fear of rejection.
Likewise, Tina wanted to be held by Bette, but was afraid that would be going too far in their tentative reconnection.

Both kept procrastinating and avoiding the subject and both could once again hear a voice in her head. Dont be such as ***** (and I mean ***** not in a good way). Why are you wasting time with this stupid drama? Admit you want to sleep in the same bed with her and get it over with. Man, I need a drink when dealing with you two.

Somehow Alex must have channeled herself to Bette and Tina at the same time as they both looked at each other tentatively and said, Would
You first, Bette said to Tina.
No, go ahead. Age before beauty. Tina said with a smirk.
Im sorry, T. Im too old and decrepit to remember what I wanted to say. Do you think you could help a poor old lady into the bedroom? I might trip and fall on my sagging skin. Bette was trying to show a sense of humor over her insecurities.

Tina complied by putting her arm around Bettes waist and walking into the bedroom with her. Tina led them to the master bedroom which she had been occupying while Bette used the guest room. Id really like to have you in the room with me tonight, Tina finally got the courage to say.

Id really like that, T. Bette said with a smile. She left the room and returned in her pyjamas and bath robe. As they had done for almost every night during the previous seven years, less the time since Provocations, Bette and Tina were in the bathroom together brushing their teeth, taking out their contact lenses [authors note: I bet you didnt know that either of them wore contacts], washing their face, etc.

When they got into the bed together, it was a bit awkward at first, neither wanted to appear too presumptuous. Tina finally rolled over so that her head was resting on Bettes shoulder. She felt to sleep more easily than she had in a very long time listening to the sound of Bettes heart beating.

Bette stayed awake long after she recognized that Tina had fallen to sleep. It had been several months since Bette had known the privilege of lying with Tina in her arms. She wanted to savor the moment. Having realized how quickly life and its comforts can spiral out of control, Bette was becoming more aware of savoring the moments. As she lay, Bette began to plan a few more moments to savor. Eventually, Tina rolled over in her sleep allowing Bette to disembark from her arms without waking her. She tiptoed into the living room and placed a phone call leaving a message. As Bette returned to bed, she took one more action to put her plan in motion.

When Tina awoke the next morning feeling more rested than she had in quite awhile, she looked over at the clock.

*****, Bette. It is almost 8:30. Youre going to be late for work.
No Im not, Bette replied.

Did I sleep through the alarm? Tina asked.

I turned it off.

Why? Tina was now puzzled. Was she stoned thinking it was Monday when it really wasnt?

I turned off the alarm last night so we could sleep in.

What about work?

I left a message that I would be in late today.

Why?

Because, Tina Ive waited so long for the chance to be near to you like this. I didnt want to throw it away rushing to get up for work. A couple of extra hours laying in bed with you is far more important than a couple of extra hours at the CAC.

Who are you and where have you taken Bette?

Its me, T. Its the me that realizes I need to set some better priorities.

Appreciative though she was of Bettes gesture, Tina also found it a bit annoying. Old take control Bette was back in action. Did you think of asking if I had somewhere that I needed to be this morning?

Did you?

No, but that is not the point. You made a decision for both of us without asking me how I felt about it.

Im sorry, T. I thought I was doing the right thing. Bette got out of bed dejected and reached to put on her robe. Hurriedly, she left the room not wanting to face Tinas anger.

After seeing the look on Bettes face, Tina realized what an ***** she had been. Bette was doing exactly as Tina had wanted, she was prioritizing Tina over work. Tina responded by criticizing Bette for it. Tina thought to herself, no wonder she cant have faith in my love for her when I act like that. She immediately got up and went to find Bette who was standing in front of the closet in the guest bedroom picking out an outfit for work. Given Tinas behavior, there was no point in following through on her plan to take the day from work.

Im an *****. Tina said as she walked into the room. You did a very sweet thing and I responded by being a *****. Im sorry, blame it on the hormones.

Its okay, you dont have to apologize. Bette responded in a small voice.

Tina walked up to Bette and took Bettes hands into hers. Yes, I do have to apologize. You arranged to take time from work to spend it with me and I was a total ingrate. I guess old habits die hard. If I had needed to go somewhere this morning, I would have set the clock on my side of the bed.

In Bettes face, Tina could see the scared child who, as Alex predicted, lay underneath Bette E. Balls.

Can I make it up to you? Buy you breakfast.

You dont have to.

I want to.

Bette was still unsure, she had made an attempt to take those first steps and had fallen down hard on her *****. She was afraid to try again to walk. She smiled at Tina and headed in for the shower.

While Bette showered, Tina sat on the bed to think. Why had she reacted so strongly? Was it really about Bette taking control? Did she want Bette to wake her at 3 a.m. to tell her that she was planning to surprise her in the morning and would it be okay? Was it fear of falling now that Tina, like Bette, had taken those tentative first steps?

Tina heard Bette turn off the shower and walked into the bathroom as Bette was finishing drying herself. Bette quickly wrapped the towel around herself to cover her nudity. How many times had Tina seen Bette naked? How many times had they shared that shower, made love in that shower? And now, Bette felt so vulnerable being naked in front of Tina.

In a moment of bravery (of which Alex would have been proud), Tina walked up to Bette and reached for the towel taking it off of Bette. Instinctually, Bette moved her hands to cover herself.

Dont, baby. Let me look at you, Tina said as she took Bettes hands in hers. Bette looked to the ground, unable to look at Tina.

God, Bette. You are so beautiful. Tina said as she took in the sight of Bettes body. How could she have let herself forget the impact of seeing Bette?

Continuing her bravery, Tina put her hands on both sides of Bettes face and forced Bette to look at her. Im sorry about this morning. I was a total *****. It means a lot that you arranged to spend the morning with me.

I would like to spend the morning with you. Bette replied still using the soft voice that conveyed her vulnerability.

Come with me, Tina said quietly as she took Bette by the hand to lead her into the bedroom. Once there, Tina indicated that she wished for Bette to sit on the bed. Bette did as was requested, unsure of what Tina wanted.

Tina stood in front of Bette and began unbuttoning her pyjama top and then slid it off of her shoulders before sliding the pants down her legs. Stepping out of the pants, Tina stood before Bette naked, totally unashamed, baring her body in front of the woman whom she had loved for so many years.

Bette looked at Tinas naked body, a sight she had feared she would never again see. Her gaze stopped at Tinas stomach where the gentle swelling indicated the life that was growing inside of her. Tears falling freely down her face, Bette knelt in front of Tina pressing her forehead into the swell of Tinas belly. Oh my god, T, was all she said.

Tina put her hand on the back of Bettes head, holding her against her pregnant belly, holding Bette to the life that she carried inside, a life she wanted to bring into the world to be raised knowing the love that Tina and Bette shared.

Bette was totally in awe as she felt her forehead pressed against the warmth of Tinas belly. She had forgotten how incredible was the sight of Tina pregnant, carrying a child, their child, inside of her.

The emotion that both Bette and Tina were feeling was interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing. Neither moved to answer and the machine eventually compensated for their inactivity.

Good morning darling, Im hoping your special dinner went well and you avoided dessert so that you could have me instead. I know that I am impatiently waiting to devour that ***** body of yours. I was planning to take the yacht out today. Perhaps you would like to join me. Have you ever made love on the Pacific? It is fabulous. Call me. Cheerio.

Bette quickly got up from her knees and walked into the bathroom looking for her robe. Tina followed.

I guess you will want to return your phone call. Bette said as she tightly tied the knot around her waist. Taking a yacht out onto the ocean sounds like a nice opportunity.

Bette began walking toward the guest bedroom. Tina followed stopping only long enough to put on her pyjama top.

Bette goddamn it, will you wait. Tina yelled out as she followed Bette into the bedroom. Im sorry. I dont know why she called this phone.

Its okay. It sounds like you have plans.

Did you hear me say to her that I was going?

Its okay, Tina, you can go. I should probably go to work anyway. Tina could almost see Bette entrenching her walls into place as she spoke.

Damn you, Bette. Do I even get a say in what I want to do?

It sounds likeIm sorry, Tina. Bette turned around and faced the closet so that Tina could not see the tears form in her eyes. Bette knew that Tina had slept with Helena, she certainly could not protest given her affair with Candace. But the sound of Helenas voice in their home with the sexual innuendo and the offer of love making as her yacht cruised the Pacific was more than Bette could bear. The thought of Helena tasting Tina for dessert made Bette want to vomit. As Bette pictured Helenas smug faced covered in Tinas wetness, her stomach began to heave saved from expelling its contents only by the fact that it had no contents to expel. Bette turned and walked past Tina going into the bathroom, hoping that she could escape before Tina realized the impact of Helenas message upon Bettes body.

For her part, Tina was furious. She was furious with Bette for erecting her walls and running and she was even more furious with Helena for calling and leaving that message. Had Helena done that because she assumed Bette had already gone to work or had she done it because she knew Bette had not come in to work this morning?

Tina went into the kitchen to make coffee as she thought it was a good idea to occupy herself with an activity. Why did Helena have to call and interrupt when she and Bette were finally making some progress? Tina knew, as she had stood before Bette, that Bette had not yet seen her body this far with child. She had passed the point of her pregnancy at which she had lost their son. This was the first time that she was able to show Bette her body swelling with this child inside of her. She had stood before Bette and removed her clothes without shame knowing that Bette would find her body beautiful despite the weight gain because that weight gain was the baby for which they had waited and planned.

Since she had begun to show her pregnancy, Tina had always maneuvered so that Helena never saw her completely nude. They either made love partially dressed or in the dark. No matter how angry she had been at Bette, Tina somehow felt that it was the ultimate disloyalty to allow Helena to see her body. Even in her deepest anger, Tina had known that the first sight of her body as her pregnancy showed belonged to Bette and Bette alone. When Tina had stood before Bette undressing, she was giving to Bette a gift that in some ways paralleled virginity. It was a gift that Tina would only be able to give once, maybe twice in a lifetime. It was a gift, like her undying love, that Tina knew in her heart belonged only to Bette.

As Bette sat on the bathroom floor, tears streaming down her cheeks, she was in awe of what she had seen. The sight of Tina pregnant with their child was the most wonderful sight Bette had ever witnessed. She wondered if her memory of that beauty would be forever tainted by the voice over of Helena Peabody talking about having that childs mother for dessert. Bette had no way of knowing that Tina had withheld from Helena the sight of her pregnancy.

Bette gathered her strength as she excited the bathroom, grateful that Tina was no longer in the bedroom. Quickly Bette chose some clothes and walked into the kitchen.

Im, uh, gonna go. Ill see you later?

Bette, you dont have to go.

I know, uh, I think that, uh, maybe I should.

Bette turned and walked toward the door. Tina knew that she should say something to stop Bette, but she didnt know what to say.