Chapter 42 – Contradictions


Sunday at the Planet

Tina was sitting starring into her third cup of coffee. Her thoughts were a jumble of contradictions, all over the map. She kept replaying different parts of yesterday and this morning and with each memory replayed she got a different emotion. There was no denying that Bette still had a direct line to her heart. Sitting here now she had to admit that from the first moment she had seen Bette at the market she felt the connection but was afraid to admit that she was IN love with Bette still. After the previous night the overriding statement she was now prepared to make is that this love is real, intense and not going away. If anything the Bette of today is more of everything. More open, more passionate, more intriguing, more enlightened, more beautiful, more sharing just more of everything that Tina had loved in Bette in the first place. The only problem was Bette herself. It seems that Bette while wanting Tina in her life in some form could not go forward with anything other than what friendship? At this point Tina didnt even know if it was even that much.

Tina was sitting here at the Planet trying to figure out were to go next. The girls were already gone for the morning or now early afternoon. They had already been here participating in the normal Sunday post mortem of the previous week and preview look into the week to come. As Tina had walked into the Planet, her body revealed the effects of sitting in one position on a hardwood floor for the night. Alice couldnt resist the urge to point this stiffness out: Tina you look like you were ridden hard and put away wet. Did you get lucky last night?
Almost as soon as the words were out both Shane and Dana came down hard on Alice.
Alice of all the crass, thoughtless and mean spirited comments! Shane spits out giving Alice a sever look.
God Alice, do you have to be so thoughtless? Dana admonished.
Thanks guys. Tina looked appreciative to Shane and Dana and then turned to Alice: For your information its none of your business but NO!
Last night was many things but it wasnt sexual.
Tina then looked right at Shane Are you going to see Bette today? Tina asked.
Uh Yeah. Shane replies but now has a worried look on her face. Is there something I should know?
Well Tina starts but only goes through the short version of how they had a wonderful dinner and then they connected through Tina viewing Bettes paintings.
That must have been extremely emotional. Shane observed having seen Bettes paintings.
Well it was intense with a lot of different emotions. It put a lot of things in perspective for me about Bette. She really has been on a hard journey. But today Im just concerned for Bette. Tina stated but really she didnt want to go into any more detail. She wanted to give Shane enough of a reason to have her go check on Bette but without relaying the entire story.
Do you think you could check on her and let me know how she is? It was just so draining I want to make sure shes OK? Tina asked.
Sure, no problem. Shane agreed.
The rest of the coffee session went as usual with Alice doing her best to learn everyone elses business and everyone else laughing and joking with her.

Now that they had all gone, Tina was re-living in her mind this morning. They had both finally came down stairs. There was a comfortable companionship between them. Thats when Tina tried to get Bette to join her with the gang at the Planet. Tina was hoping to have more of Bettes time. Bette just didnt feel ready. This meant that the time had come for Tina to leave. Bette was walking Tina out to her car when Tina stopped and turned. She wanted to try one more time to convince Bette to come to coffee. Bette apparently didnt register that Tina had stopped and plowed right into her almost knocking Tina over. The force was enough that Bette had to grab Tina to prevent her from falling backwards. Unlike last night and this morning this physical contact was electrifying. Tina looked into Bettes eyes She wants me was Tinas thought. Bettes eyes had that smoky look of lust and want. Seeing this, that was all the permission Tina needed to lean forward and press her lips to Bettes. At first she passed her tongue across Bettes bottom lip seeking permission to enter. Bette acquiesces and the kiss deepened as Tina was freely moving in and out of Bettes mouth. This kiss was hot and searing and felt so right. Just when Tina thought she was in heaven, Bette abruptly broke off the kiss. Lurching away Bette started mumbling incoherently. Tina went towards her only to be told NO I CANT. NO I CANT. Tina looked into Bettes face, the frightened Bette was back. Bette turned and ran inside, closing the door.

Tina was left in a mass of raw emotions. Sitting in her car she was second guessing the look she had seen. No, I really saw the want and need. Just as she was now sitting at the Planet starring into her coffee second guessing. She was no closer now to figuring this out than she was earlier this morning. What is Bette afraid of?