Chapter 46 – Preaching

Kit looked at Bette feeling a little relief: Well thank God you finally said it in a way that makes sense. This is a good thing so that when I kick your ***** for being such an idiot maybe that will make total sense to you too.
Shane thought she had been rough with Bette earlier now just sat back to take a lesson from the master as Kit was just getting warmed up.
What gives you the right to keep controlling everything and everybody? Do you still feel that arrogant? I thought we had worked through all that. Im going to tell you this again and again and again until it finally gets through that thick skull of yours. You have no right to mess with things that are so God Given. Dont you get it? Fate has put you two together and things will continue to put you two together until you finally accept that no matter how many times you try to run, escape, get lost, hide or even try to commit suicide or move to Arizona you cant out run fate. I admit we set up the auction but it didnt matter Tina found you anyway with no interference from any of us. Its destined. We wont let you and fate wont let you get away. Kit roared all this at Bette.

At this point anger was flaring in Bettes eyes as she was squaring her shoulders to have an old fashion sisterly cat fight. Taking a deep breath before launching her volley
Bette fired back: What, do you have a direct line with God Almighty! Dont you even get started with that preachy attitude with me! Do you know how many abusive phrases where part of my everyday conversations with Tina? You werent there when I would come home and begin my tirades of abuse by saying
Tina whats wrong with you for making such a big deal out of nothing or
Honey, I love you but sometimes youre such or
You know I didnt mean anything. or
Whats wrong with you. or even
Im the one who loves you more than anyone else but
All of these approaches started out sounding loving but in fact I belittled and demeaned Tina with each statement. That was the beauty of it I could sound caring when in fact I was reducing Tinas self esteem with each verbal brick I would throw at her. Do you think thats what fate had in mind when they put us together? Well I dont. Its not conceited at all to say that thats sick and I dont want to play my part anymore. If I love Tina and I DO, then its my duty to run, escape to even hide if it I can prevent that kind of abuse from destroying Tinas confidence and self-esteem again.

Kit, unfazed by this whole barrage from Bette, came back in a more gentle understanding tone. She had gotten the desired result by making Bette mad enough she would admit her love. All the spit and vinegar was gone now: Honey, who are you trying to kid? Why do you still want to run from Tina and your love for her? Your outlook and disposition are so new. Your approach to life has taken a dramatic turn to the left. You are not that same person who would come home from work to take out all your daily stresses on Tina. Those are words from your past. Thats who you were its not who you are today. These changes didnt happen by some mistake. They happened because you wanted them to and you made the choice to be different. The mere fact that you recognize these statements means you wont ever use them again. Shane and I notice the difference in you, Tina noticed the difference in you. Do you think she would be this anxious to connect again with the old Bette if you still presented the same holier then thou *****?

Bette stopped mid word. The come back she was going to fire back became lost in her throat and never made it past her lips. Her eyes were clouding up again and she was struggling to stay afloat in her mind. She had made the choice to change. The only thing she could control was herself and she had changed. Tina reacting to this change would be a different Tina. Bettes mind recalled her last session with Rachael these were the very issues they had discussed.

Kit took this pause in Bettes defenses to launch another idea that was burning in her mind. While we are talking about things that fate dictates and the way things are I have another bone to pick with you. When are you going to quit hiding away in an obscure little life youre creating and become the real flower you are suppose to be. Girl you where made to shine in the sun not stay in the shadows. Its like you have been taking an extended vacation but baby, its time for you to enter the spot light again. This art that you are creating is good. REAL GOOD. The idea that you are hiding out and not taking advantage of the opportunities as they come to you is ridiculous. What is wrong with you that you are letting everything slide by you? Its time to get off you little island and join the rest of use who love you and want to be involved in your exciting life. I know this can be scary. I know you are fearful. Thats were letting us, all of us into your life will help. Dont you think that Tina was proud of your work at the auction? Do you know she looked at each painting and got it? She got you, your meaning and your intent. Do you know how rare it is to have someone with you, supporting and loving you who gets you? This open you is so much more attractive than any image you ever projected before. Please dont hide it anymore.

With that Kit was done. That had been her plea and she had delivered it. Now the ball was in Bettes court. Shane was watching Bette closely. Bette had her eyes closed. It was hard to tell if she was even breathing, she sat there motionless.

Shane took this opportunity to try to draw Bette out. Bette, did I hear you admit you still love Tina? Shane asked in a soft and quiet voice.

Bette opened her eyes and looked as Shane. Yes, I love her as much now as I have ever loved her.

Are you willing to fight for her? Shane then asked.

What do you mean fight for her? Bette looked at Shane not really getting her.

I mean if you love her enough to fight for her then you need to FIGHT this fear of yours. You need to keep on the path of open, frank communication and this will win you Tinas love, respect and TRUST again. Shane explained in the some even tones. Can you fight?

Bette starting to let the hope fill her body said: Yes!