There was a feeling of urgency that engulfed Dana. She wasnt really thinking of anything except wanting to get close to Alice. She forgot about all the other things that were going on. She welcomed this temporary change.

Alice kissed her back and then suddenly squirmed underneath her. Dana shifted allowing Alices hands to fly between their bodies. She pushed Dana off her, a bit too forcibly, sending Dana crashing to the floor. Alice jumped off the couch, *****. I didnt mean to- are you ok? She held out her hand.

Dana stared at the ceiling for a moment before looking at Alice, I think my prides hurt.

Just your pride? Alice lowered herself beside Dana, following the crack in the ceiling with her eyes. I cant figure you out anymore.

Dana reached over and touched Alices chin. Her eyes were glassy, Me neither. She moved closer and rested her head on Alices chest, enjoying the calming effects of the heart beating beneath her. I dont want to lose youas my friend.

Alice stroked Danas hair, I guess youll have to try harder than you did. Somehow Im still here.

Al?

Huh?

When all this is done, could you love me again?

Dane, Ive always loved you. She explained as best she could how Danas distantness affected her, what went through her head when they fought and broke up. When she finished talking she noticed Danas slow breathing and the arms holding on to her as if for dear life. She reached up, careful not to wake Dana and grabbed one of the couch cushions placing it under her head. She couldnt sleep, having Dana here with her sent her reeling. She didnt know what she wanted. Alice couldnt deny she still loved Dana even after all the ***** Dana put her through, but did she want to risk going through it again? She continued running her fingers through Danas soft hair and talking aloud mostly to herself. Part of her secretly hoped Dana would wake up and listen to what she was saying.

Alices phone rang, jarring Dana awake. Shh. Its just my phone. Alice stroked Danas arm.

Dont answer it. Dana placed her hand onto Alices and squeezed it. Alice watched the gesture, it seemed so unlike Dana. All of this seemed so unlike Dana. Dana stood up and went into the other room to get some juice.

Alice picked up the phone and listened to the message. Dana walked back in to the living room as Alice was hanging up the phone.

Something about the way Alice hung up the phone, bothered Dana. Her movement was too slow, too labored looking. Was it another threat?

Another one? How many are you getting?

Dana sighed and plopped down on the couch, I keep thinking that maybe its Tonya trying to get back at me. Its not Tonya, is it?

Dana, why didnt you say something before?

I think I thought I deserved it.

Alice joined her on the couch, No one deserves this.

I keep hearing that Im horrible. That Im this-this thing because Im not normal. You have it easy, Al. You could just fall in love with a guy and live all happily ever after. Youre not ***** like I am.

Easy, Dana? I dont think so. If it was that easy, then I wouldnt be getting the same calls that you are. I wouldnt be told that Im a sinner. Im being pulled into this too.

Then just get out of it.

I cant. Dont roll your eyes. Listen. Have you ever heard of the phrase guilty by association?

Yeah.

Its sort of like that. People can think Im ***** because I hang out with you and the others because youre all *****. Then theres the whole Ive slept with women so I must be ***** thing. Im in this mess with you regardless of our status.

Is it better for you to not be near me?

I dont get what youre asking. For me emotionally or for mewhat?

I was thinking safety wise but emotionally, too.

Dana, its not going to make a difference. Because we had a relationship every thing that happens from that point changes and has new meaning. Like if we held hands walking down the street, and even if were not together, it implies we are. So to whoever is harassing you, if we hung out, theyll still think were together.

So basically we can never go back to the way we were. Dana moaned, I just wanted to protect you.

What are you saying?

I know Ive been distant and not there for you. And you have um no right to uh forgive me-ever. But I uh still um love you and maybe uh one daythis was so much smoother in my head. Umm.

Alice tried her best to not show any emotion. She wanted to hear what Dana was going to say. She was intrigued watching Dana having trouble articulating her thoughts. Go on. I dont have all day.

Dana exhaled loudly before speaking, Ok. I uh still want you. And maybe we could start over? She chewed on her fingernail.

I dont know if thats a good idea, Dana.

Danas face fell, I understand. She got up to leave.

Alice let her go. She was torn as to what to do. Part of her wanted to run after Dana and pretend the ***** theyve gone through never happened and the other part wished that none of it, the good and bad of this relationship never happened. All she knew was that nothing was ever going to be the same again. For her or for Dana. She was also scared and rationalized it was in hers and Danas best interests if they stayed away from each other. She recalled the nasty messages left on her dormroom door back when she was in college. She didnt want to go through any of that again and she hoped that Dana wouldnt either.


A couple days later, Bettes phone rang. She answered it without looking at the caller id. Bette Porter.

Bette, its Tina. Bette was quiet, trying to figure out if she was dreaming. Bette? You there?

Yes, Im here, T.

Have you or Dana seen Alice lately? Im just a little worried she didnt leave a note or anything. I havent been able to get her on her cell. I think last I saw her was Friday.

I havent seen Alice since Wednesday. As for Dana, hold on, let me ask. Bette held the receiver with one hand, Dana! Come here!

Dana went into Bettes bedroom. Yeah?

Tina wants to know if youve seen Alice.

No, why?

Alice has evidently been MIA for a few days now.

Dana grabbed the phone from Bette. Is she ok?

I dont know, Dana. Thats why I called you and Bette. Im guessing you dont know where she is.

Dana turned towards Bette, You dont think mymy stalker did something to her?

I highly doubt it. Maybe she needed to get away. Shes impulsive like that. You go get ready for practice and me and Tina will figure out where Alice is. Ok?

Call me, please, if you find out anything.

I promise.

Dana returned the phone to Bette, T, Ill pick you up in fifteen minutes.


Bette pulled the Saab in front of Alices apartment. She honked the horn to which Tina opened the door and jogged over. Hi.

Hi, Tina. I think I might know where she is.

Dont you think Dana should come?

No. If Im wrong, I dont want to get her hopes up.

You seem anxious.

Bette kept the car in park for a moment. She looked at Tina, I am. She then shifted into drive so she didnt have to elaborate.

Hows Dana?

Ok, I guess. She stays at the club most of the day from what I understand. She feels better having the bodyguard around, I guess.

Oh, I didnt know she had one.

I only found out because the club couldnt reach her so they called the house. I took the message.

How are you doing?

I try to keep busy, T. Im trying to fix the parts of my life that I let fall apart.

Tina nodded. So where are you taking me?

Did I ever tell you how Alice and I met?

No, I dont think so. Tina was genuinely interested.

Ill show you.


Bette ran to the building in front of her. Hurry up, Tee.

Tina chased after her. She caught up with Bette at the door. Both of them breathing hard. Tina smiled, What has gotten into you?

Bette touched the wooden door. Behind this door is one of the most highly touted art collections on the college level. This is one of my favorite museums.

Tina reached out, patting Bettes arm, When we find Alice I promise well come back and go inside.

Bette flashed her a grin, We?

Yeah, we.

Her heart jumped with joy at the prospect that Tina was willing to go to a museum with her. She led Tina to a bar that looked like it had seen better days. It was dank and poorly lit. She took Tinas hand and navigated the dark corridor and down the stairs.

Tina was in awe, Howd you ever find this place?

Bette chuckled, I had gotten lost around campus looking for the art museum. I must have stood out like a sore thumb with my suit, but this crazy girl with long brown hair and a big mouth found me.

Alice?

It was Alice alright. So she took me to the museum and then here. She was playing that night with her band. She was pretty good if I remember correctly.

Hey, look over there. Towards the front left, two tables in. Tina and Bette approached the blond. Alice?

Alice spun around shocked to see her friends. Hi, guys?

Tina hugged her, We were so worried about you.

Bette hugged her next, Dont do that again. Well, do it again but tell me where you are next time. She winked at Alice.

Alice got the hint and patted Bettes back before giving her a quick peck on the cheek. Deal. She sighed, Sorry, T, I just needed to get away. I wouldve left a note but I hopped in the Mini to get coffee and next thing I knew I was here.

Whereve you been staying? Alice pointed to the guy on stage. Alice, he cant be a day over 18.

Hes twenty one. Thank you very much.

Did you sleep with him?

Alice laughed, With him but not *with* him. My boy, Zach, is a-

Big gaymo?

Alice nodded, unable to speak, as she laughed even harder.

Bette sat down next to her, What about Dana?

Alice threw up her hands in exasperation. I have no idea. All I know is that I cant be near her anymore. Guys, Im ready to just go away. Move far, far away. God, Im ***** losing my mind. The girl is driving me crazy. Bette and Tina both gave her a pat on the back.

“Well, you’ve been driving me crazy for what-ten years now?” Bette smirked.

Alice smiled at Bette’s attempt to be funny. “Yeah, that’s about right. It’s amazing you’re not in a straight jacket by now. So how’d you find me anyhow?”

“Surprisingly, I know my exes very well.”