Chapter 55 – Up the Coast

Tina started off driving, heading up the coast on the Pacific Coast Highway. Just driving this car alone was pure joy but to be driving on a beautiful sunny southern California day, an awesome car and with Bette at her side was a dream come true for Tina. This was one of those joyful moments in ones life that you want to keep in your memory forever.

Bette just relaxed in the passenger seat. She was enjoying every aspect of this ride as much as Tina. With the wind blowing her hair and in her ears there was little verbal conversation between the two of them. But despite the lack of words they each had an easy comfort between them that didnt require verbalization.

After an hour of so Tina pulled off the highway and entered an area of specialty shops called Legacy Village. Getting out stretching her legs Tina couldnt resist teasing Bette. If youre nice to me maybe Ill let you drive next. That pretty much set the tone between the two of them. The shopping turned mostly into browsing as there really wasnt much room in the car for any purchases. Getting back in the car it was now Bette turn to drive. Tina gave her instructions to head off for a shoreline with a nice beach that they could enjoy the picnic that Tina had packed.

While Bette was driving Tina couldnt resist playing with all the toys this car had to offer. Popping up the car computer in the center of the dash, Tina started trying to manipulate the GPS system. Bette drove on watching Tina, chuckling at how little Tina was able to make it do but still she was having fun.

Arriving at a beautiful beach which was partially secluded Bette pulled the car into a parking spot. This was a beach that Tina and Bette had been before. They both loved the privacy of it and Tina was happy they had arrived. This was exactly what Tina had in mind when she first thought of this idea. Getting out of the car Tina just took a moment to breath in the sea air. Walking around the back of the car: Babe, can you pop the trunk? Tina asked. Tina waited there patiently in anticipation of getting the beach stuff and the picnic basket.
Bette was standing by the drivers door not moving, she was lost thinking about how right it was for Tina to have called her Babe again.
Bette? Tina asked bring Bette back.
With that Bette moved into action hitting the button, hearing the pop as the trunk sprang up. It hit Bette She doesnt even realize she called me Babe. It really does just seem so right.
Pulling out the beach stuff, You want to give me a hand back here, you know it is my birthday. Tina teased Bette.
With that Bette helped Tina gather up the low folding chairs and blanket while Tina carried the basket and a little cooler.
The girls settled down in a nice spot on the beach and Tina started pulling out the food she put together for a light lunch. With all the food spread out and a couple cool water bottles pulled out of the cooler, Tina and Bette settled back to enjoy the scenery.
This place is beautiful. Ive forgotten how wonderful it is. Tina starts with that peaceful wonder in her voice.
Bette was right there on the same page. We need to come here more.
This was the nature of their conversation as the joy of the moment was more important than any serious conversation.

Having finished lunch they both laid back in their chairs and settled into an easy afternoon siesta. Bette let her mind wonder, she loved the time spent with Tina. She loved just talking to her about everything. With that in mind she broke the quite peacefulness.
Tina what do you think I should do about the showings?
Huh?, What Im sorry what showings? Tina knew but she still wanted to pull Bettes leg a little.
You know my paintings? Bette figured out a little too late that Tina really did get it as Tina was in full chuckle mode.
Oh, THOSE showings. Tina said now in out right laughing mode. Tina was pulling herself up a little in her chair laughing at Bette realizing that nap time was over. I guess I know what youre talking about. I was just pulling your leg for interrupting my nap.
No really girl, I was trying to have a discussion with you. What was I thinking? Bette trying to get a little back at Tina, acting a little hurt.
Oh you poor, poor baby, what can I do for you. Let see what did you want to know about your showings? Tina said getting a little more serious for Bette.
Well maybe I dont want to let you know now. Bette replied.
Ok Im good with that. Tina said slouching back down in her chair.
No, I was wondering what your thoughts on my showings are? Bette seriously asked again.
Oh, so you really want my opinion. Tina laughed as she sat up in her chair again.
Yeah, I do. Do you mind? I got all the final contracts from the galleries that Jessica Astair set up. Im scheduled for the first show to be in New York in six weeks. They want me to send them digitals of thirty pictures so they can pick out anywhere from fifteen to twenty paintings. From there the show in Los Angeles will be thirty days later and they want between fifteen and twenty paintings. I know I have a lot of inventory but its still a little daunting. Bette begins to talk about her shows.
Bette what are you saying are you worried you dont have enough paintings because I have been to you house. Believe me you have plenty. So are you nervous? Tina suspected there was something behind this conversation that Bette hadnt gotten to yet.
Nervous, I dont know. I guess I know that once this happens things will change. Bette says I dont know how I feel about the whole thing. I know I like painting and what it does for me but anything else I just dont know.
Is that why you havent really put your work out there before? I mean I think you good Let me ask you if you were in your old job would you, your work, be something that you would have pursued to show at the CAC? Tina asks.
Great question. Bette considers this for a moment. In the past when she thought she had a find of an artist she would move heaven and earth to sign the artist and make them her discovery. Would she be chasing the artist she had become full bent. Bette sees the obvious when Tina puts it that way. Yes, when you phrase it that way Tina I would have been ***** bent on getting me signed. Bette finally admits.

Tina considers what Bette has just revealed. Then says: So its not a fear about not being good enough, you already know how good your work is. Is it maybe the fame? Tina asks.

This makes Bette laugh: Right like I care if Im famous. I hardly think that is an issue.
OK, then you tell me what is it, maybe the fact that for some reason you dont think you deserve all the good things that can come from the recognition that may come your way? The moment this was out of Tinas mouth she knew she had hit the nail on the head. The sharp intake of breath and the flushness of Bettes cheeks was the dead giveaway.
I really dont think thats an issue either. Bette starts in quick denial that only she believes.

Bette doesnt believe shes worthy. She doesnt think she deserves any rewards. Does this include me? Does she think she doesnt deserve my love? Is that the hurtle? All these thoughts are going through Tinas head. How do I reassure Bette?
Tina finally says to Bette: Well I guess the reason is not that important at the moment, Im just glad your doing them. If you need any assistance I hope you know that Im there for you. Tina was trying to put Bette as ease.

Bette takes a few deep breaths, screaming at herself to calm down. Tina is just trying to help what is she getting so defensive about. Maybe I should ask Tina. Yeah I will. Bette thinks to herself.

Ah, Ah well there is something I have been thinking about asking you but before I ask I want you to know you can say no and it will be OK. OK? Bette begins and then waits for Tina.
OK, what is it? Tina is nodding as she responds
Do you think you might be able to go to New York and just be there for me? Im a little nervous about the whole trip and well Bette started but Tina immediately cut her off.
What?