Silence. Nobody said a word and Tina thought the entire room could hear her heart beating against her chest. She looked outside and saw the snow falling by the light of a street lamp. Wishing she could float away like those flakes, she turned her gaze back on her family and sighed.

Arent you going to say something?

I… er… dont understand. Her mother stammered.

Whats not to understand, mom? Julie jumped in.

Its just that Bette is a woman.

Exactly. Tinas dating a woman.

Honey, how long has this been going on? Tinas dad asked.

Over a month… actually more like two.

And why didnt you tell us earlier?

Dad, I was going through a lot and I couldnt even think straight. All that on top of graduating… and I was too afraid.

Why a woman? Tinas mother was still shocked.

Mom, I could ask you why a man. Julie said. She looked at Tina. You know what, maybe we should let Tina tell us all about it and then we all just get to bed and sleep on it. Its Christmas and we have a big day tomorrow.

That sounds like a good idea. I think I need time to process all of this. Tinas mother wiped tears from her eyes.

Go ahead, Tina, Im also very curious about all this. Her dad said.

Ok, but the first hint of criticism and Im out of here. She gave everyone a very serious look. I met Bette at a gallery opening at her art gallery – she owns her own gallery. I was with Eric. Bette and I started hanging out and I broke up with Eric, which you all know about. Anyway… somewhere in there I started to have feelings for Bette that I couldnt explain and I acted on them. I realized that Ive never been more happy in my entire life with someone and Bette is here to stay.

Tina stood up and headed towards her room, leaving three speechless people in the room. After she changed and climbed into bed, she remembered she needed to call Bette. The phone rang and rang until her machine picked up. Bette was already at her familys. Hanging up the phone, she heard a soft knock on the door. Julies head peeked in.

Can I come in? She whispered. Tina nodded and patted the bed next to her. Julie was four years younger than Tina and the baby of the family. She always looked up to Tina because she was the one who always did well in life and school. Julie felt she could never compete with her big sister and now it was weird that Tina didnt seem so perfect anymore. Usually Tina was sticking up for Julie to her parents, but now the roles were reversed.

Whats up? Tina asked.

I came up to make sure youre ok.

Ill be fine. Julie shot Tina a look that said she didnt believe her.

Bullshit, Tina. Dont pretend youre ok. This time I know youre lying.

What did mom and dad say?

Nothing much. They headed to bed. I bet theyre talking now. You sure know how to spice up a holiday, huh? Julie smiled.

I just had to tell them, Jules. And you. What do you think?

No big deal. Its not like its a surprise or anything. I guess Ill have to visit LA to see who this woman is.

I thought youd hate me.

I could never hate you, Tina. Youre my big sister and I love you. And its about time you did something to take the focus off me.

Im scared about tomorrow. Tina confided.

Dont be. Im there for you and Im hoping they dont take it too hard. Give them some credit, you never know how theyll react.

Tina suddenly started crying, feeling very lonely and vulnerable. Julie reached over and held her, letting Tinas sobs be muffled in her shoulder. Tinas body shook and the tears rolled onto Julies shirt but she didnt complain.

Tina, shh… its going to be ok. I cant imagine how hard this has all been for you. Id like to hear about it sometime… when youre ready.

Tina steadied her tears and blew her nose, looking at her sister. At that moment she felt she barely knew her, yet she felt closer to her than she ever had. Tina had been just enough years older than Julie where they were in different worlds growing up and now they lived as far away from each other as they could, one in LA the other in Boston.

Ill tell you someday, I promise. Tina smiled weakly.

Good, now get some sleep.

Julie tucked Tina in and kissed her on the forehead before turning the light out as she left. Tina fell asleep immediately, exhausted and overwhelmed.


The next morning Tina woke to the smell of coffee and she jumped out of bed, looking out the window. It was definitely a white Christmas. Bounding down the stairs she met Julie on the couch sorting through her stocking while her parents served coffee. At the sight of her folks she suddenly remembered the night before and her heart sank to her feet. She sat down next to Julie and everyone went through the normal Christmas morning routine with a slight awkwardness in the air. The day went by calmly and soon enough dinner was upon them. Tina and her sister had their pajamas on all day until their mother made them change for the meal. Tina felt like a child again being home.

At the table Tinas dad said a prayer before they ate. The food was delicious. Conversation stayed shallow.

Its been wonderful having both of my girls home again! Tinas mother said. I dont know why you have to live on opposite ends of the country. Julie, Boston is horrible this time of year. I hope youre taking care of yourself and making it to class every day. Julie rolled her eyes. And Tina… LA? Youre much further away than Julie. Why LA?

Mom… LA is my home now. School is done but I have a job out there… a career.

You could work out here.

The same opportunities arent out here.

I know. I just miss you, thats all. I worry about you all alone out there. At least Mandy is with you. Hopefully someday you can settle down with a nice young man.

Julies eyes grew wide as she looked at Tina. Their dad grunted, looking at his food.

Mom, Tina told us last night about Bette… remember? Julie asked.

I remember. I just think its a phase.

Its not a phase mom. Im twenty four. I think I know about my own life at this point and I know Im not meant to be with a man. Tina took the napkin out of her lap and threw it on the table. She stood up.

Tina, sit down. Her father commanded.

No.

Come on, your mother didnt mean anything by it. Please, sit down and we can discuss this.

Dad, I dont want to discuss it anymore. Ive said all I need to say and I dont want to hear anything except your support. If you dont have that, then please let it rest until we all have had time to deal with it. I shouldve waited until before I left to tell you.

Its good you told us, its just been a shock. Now sit down and finish your meal. Lets not talk about this again for a while.

Tina sat and silently ate her food, sure to obey her father when he was stern. Julie kept her mouth shut, eyes wide. And their mother continued rambling about nothing in particular. After dinner they watched a movie and went to bed. As Tina fell asleep she thought she only had one more day then shed be flying home. This helped her.

The next day went by without surprise and Tina and Julie shopped most of the day. Nothing was said and her parents acted as if nothing had happened. As Tina packed that night, sadness overwhelmed her. She didnt know what she was hoping for when she told her parents, but even a major confrontation would be better than avoiding it. Her mother was in denial and her father didnt want to deal with it. She was overwhelmed with cheerless thoughts and she wished things didnt have to be this way. She wanted her parents to be excited for her, to want to meet Bette and embrace her. Instead, Tina was heading home feeling the biggest distance from her parents she ever had in her life.

Looking out the window of her airplane, she pressed her head against the glass watching the fields of the midwest roll below her. Happy to be getting away from the judgements of these plains, she looked forward to her god forsaken city awaiting her… and her sinful relationship. Sinning felt so good she couldnt wait to do it again… and again. And as she stepped off the plane, heading towards the baggage claim, she saw the greatest example of debauchery… the one who she couldnt wait to be corrupted by once again… Bette.