TinaI have to go out for a little while. I could hear Alices voice from beyond the door. Do you need anything while Im out?

Yes, I need Bette. I need her to hold me, to make everything betterlike she always does. But I cant let her in again. I cant let her hurt me like thatto break my heartand destroy everything we had. How could she do it?

Knock, knock, knock. Tina, are you awake?

Yeah, Alice Im up. Im finally able to say. I dont need anything.

Okay, she responds. She sounds concerned, but I cant ease her mindI cant even ease my own. I need to go outI cant stay here all dayI feel like the walls are closing in. *****! Im suffocating in here! Without thinking, I grab my keys and head out the door.

Getting into my car, I drive out of Alices parking lot. Where am I going? Its a sunny day, maybe Ill go to a park. I like the one back near the housethe house Ive shared with her. Dammit Tina, why do you keep doing that? Stop thinking about Bette. Take your mind off herand the life we shared. Think about something else, will you! Dont let your mind go back to the day we metthe day Eric introduced us. She was so amazing. I was really nervous at that artist dinner the following week. When she came over and spoke to me, I could feel the warmth emanating from her. I think I knew that night that I had to end it with Ericbefore she even kissed me. Then, when she did, I was hers. My mind was made upI no longer wanted to be with Ericor anyone else for that matter.

Bette was so attentive when we first started dating. She did little things that let me know she was thinking of me. I couldnt believe the way she made me feeland the night she asked me to marry her was amazing. We drove out to Malibushe said she was feeling particularly inspired to watch the sunset. When we got out there, she made me close my eyes while she led me onto the sand. The touch of her hand was comforting as I walked along tentativelysand sifting between my toes. The only sounds I could hear were my heart pounding in my chest and the waves crashing in the distance. Walking along I relied on Bette to lead me safely to our destination. She slowed our pace and placed her hands on my upper arms positioning me just right. Then she went around behind me and, enveloping me in her arms, whispered in my ear, open your eyes. I opened them to see the most beautifully amazing site. Bette had found a little cove facing west. She laid out the most sumptuous looking picnic. I saw a bottle of wine, meticulously cut cucumber sandwiches, spinach salad, and some chicken salad with pita bread.

We better get started before we lose our light, she brushed her lips against my ear. I can feel her warm breath as her lips softly graze the nape of my neck. We sit down to enjoy this wonderful meal.

As if to entertain us, Mother Nature paints the sky bright hues of orange, red, and yellow…then purple and lavender. The sun is still visible, yet the full moon shines above us to the east. As the sun finally surrenders to the night, sinking into the water, it makes one last effort to stay before it is swallowed beyond the crashing waves. What a beautiful site, I say. Yes it is, her hushed tones barely audible. I turn to see that shes looking, not at the sunset, but at me. Her eyes are so piercing. She gently touches my chin leaning in closer, she kisses me. Her lips partand her tongue skims my bottom lip as if asking permission. I open my mouth to welcome her. The soft touch of her tongue sliding along my own sends shivers down my spine. I feel her hand moving up my thigh as her tongue rhythmically moves in and out of my mouth. The scent of her perfume is intoxicating. I feel my nipples harden under my silk blouse as she brushes the back of her hand lightly over my *****.

I have something for you, she whispers. The sound of her voice sends me over the edge. I reach for her hand and move it up my thigh to my throbbing center. Get a hold of yourself Tina Kennard. Youre always telling ME not to go overboard in public.

You know full well that this isnt public, I answer breathlessly, were hidden from view by all these rocks.

I wont stop you, she retorts, half laughing. Id make love to you in Times Square if I knew youd let meBut, since I have your undivided attention, I have something to ask you.

Ask me? What could Better Porter possibly have to ask me? Does she want to go on a trip together? She cant be asking me to move inthats already happened. Maybe she

Will you marry me, she says, interrupting my thoughts.

I sit there not able to say anythingnot noticing my jaw hanging openor the tears welling up in my eyes. Bettes face turns from a happy, carefree smile to one of absolute joy and pride. I think she knows what my answer will be? But how?…I dont even know my answer. Then I hear my voicea hushed whisper, yes. Yes, Ill marry you.

Good morning Tina. I hear someone calling my name, but Bettes mouth its moving. Tina? I hear it again. A knock on my window shakes me awake. Oh my god, how did I get here? Im in front of the houseJennys standing outside my car with an inquisitive look. I open the door, not knowing what Ill say to her. Now I know how Tim feels

Are you alright, she asks me. Youve been sitting in you car for a while now.

Uh, yeah, I reply, Im fine.

I find myself walking past her, toward the house. I take each step to the front door one at a time, as if a deliberate action. Whats going on, Im not controlling my own body. My hand reached outthe key already poisedI unlock the door and let myself in.

Looking around the room I notice nothing out of place. Its just the way it was yesterdaybefore I knew. Only this time, I dont feel the love that used to fill this house. It seems colddark. Whats that laying on the couch? I step over to pick it up. My robeI dont remember how my robe got out here. I put it up to my face; it smells a bit like herBette must have been holding it or wearing it after I left lest night. Last nightI dont want to think about last night. My entire world shattered in the blink of an eye. Ill just gather some of my stuff while Im here. That must have been why I came here. Then Ill get going.

I walk to the bedroom and slowly open the door. Perfect. Nothing is out of place. The bed is neatly made; my dress isnt where I dropped it. I walk aroundlooking for the silver frame, its glass shattered and brokenmatching my heart. Some sign of the destruction that occurrednothing. No torn clothes, no disheveled bed, no broken picture frame. Bette must have already moved on. She cleaned up every indication of what happened. I open the closet and grab a bag. Randomly picking out clothes I fill the bag and head for the bathroom. Ill need my toothbrush, some shampoo, soapwhat else? After grabbing a few other items, I make my way to the kitchen. Ill check for any mail, then Ill go. Looking toward the counter I freezethere it isthe shiny, silver picture frame. I approach it to find that the glass is no longer in it. The photo is scratchedprobably from the broken glassbut theres no sign of any glass. Another clue of the destructiongone. I hold my hand out, touching the picturerunning my finger along her face. A single tear drops, landing on the photo.

The front door closes, rousing me. Tina? Baby, Im glad youre home.

To Be Continued…