Her hand gently caresses my breast as I feel her other hand run along my inner thigh. I feel her lips slowly make their way down my torso. Passing my navel, she momentarily pauses, torturing me with her lips. She removes her hand from my thigh and moves it up to caress my pulsating center. Her fingers enter me as she raises her head. Oh T, I say, just as Candace looks at me

THUD!! My office door slides open jarring me awake. I sit up and make an attempt to catch my breath. *****! I have got to stop having that dream.

Bette, James isnt sure how Ill react. Stay calmhe didnt make you have that dream.

Yes, James, I reply, standing uphoping Ill fully regain consciousness.

Did yousleep here last night, hes not sure if he should be asking me that question.

Yes, James, I tell him with a sigh, I did. I wipe my hand down my face thinking it will wipe away the turmoil in my head. It doesnt work. I need to go home for a whileIll be back later. I grab my jacket and purse.

What should I tell Franklin if he calls?

The truththat I was here working late and fell asleep in my office. I went home to shower and change and Ill be back bywhat time is it? I ask, grabbing his wrist8:03. Ill be back by ten.

I walk to the parking garage and get in my car. Closing the door I pausedid you do that for my benefitor hers? Father Andys words ring in my ears. I wonder what he would say about that dream? Get a grip on yourself! You can talk to him laterhe said he would call. Whats that sounda pitiful sounding chuckle? Thats me. Why? Bette Porteryoure actually looking forward to seeing Father Andy again. Boy has he gotten into your psyche. Anyway, you better get home and clean up.

At home, I rush into the shower. I dry off and walk into the bedroom to get dressed. I open the closet and reach for a suitthen I notice it. What? Somethings different. I sit on the bed and stare into the open closet. Whats different? Tinas suitcaseand some of her suitstheyre gone. She must have been here yesterday. I let out a sigh of disappointment. Its sinking inshes really gone. I lie down on the bed and curl up into a ball. I need help…I need comfortI needTina. I whisper the last word barely loud enough to hear it myself.

Rrrriiinnnngg. Rrrriiiinnnnngg. Rrrriiiiiinnngggg. I listen as the answering machine picks up.

Bette! Its DanaI called your office and your assistant told me you went home for a while. He said youd be back, but I couldnt wait. BetteI need your help.

Dont shut down now Porter. Youve been doing so well up until now. Ive convinced myself to keep goingwell, not reallybut I DID tell James Id be back by ten.

I rush back to the CAC and, upon calling Dana, decide that we need to meet for lunch. I resume my paperwork until its time to meet her. I grab my purse and head out the door.

Bette, my name echoes through the parking structure. I turn to see Candace approaching me. Not now. You cant just blow me off like that, she says, I deserve more than that.

Youre right, I surprise her. She opens her mouth to say somethingbut nothing comes out. She looks confused. Look, I couldnt deal with you last night my nerves were very rawandIm on my way to meet a friend for lunch right nowbut you were rightwe DO need to talk. This is good Bette. You need closure with thisthat dream is killing you.

I have to come back this afternoon to pick up my check. Ill drop by your office. Thats not a good ideawhat if theres still something between us? Whats wrong Bettedont you trust yourself? Nolook what I did the first time! I cant let on that Im still weak enough to give in to her. Well just leave the door open. Thats itwellIll leave the door open.

Bette?

Uh, yeah, she regains my attention. That will be fineIll see you this afternoon.

How am I supposed to help Dana now? I have to figure out what in the world Im going to say to Candace.



I walk up to the small caf and spot Dana at an outside table. She stands and waves me over.

I need your advice, she starts in, before Ive had a chance to sit.

Okay, Im hesitant to ask. About what?

Do you remember when I was having trouble gauging Lara Perkins?

Yeeessss, the word slowly makes it way out of my mouth.

Well Im having the same kind of problem. Danas working herself up. She seems nervousand impatient.

You meanyoure having trouble with yourgaydar again? Is she talking about Tonya? Dana, shes engaged to youshes a *****.

Whowhatno, I dont mean Tonyaand its not a gaydar thingwell, not really.

What do you mean not really? I question her.

Its more like, an I cant read people thing.

DanaI need a little more information than youre giving me right now, I say, trying to coax the information out.

Its Alice! Alright, there I said it. I need advice about Alice.

Wellshes bisexual and

No, I dont mean like that.

Dana, you have to spit it out for me. I dont have the foggiest idea what youre trying to ask me.

Well, it started the night of the Provocations exhibit.

Please dont remind me about that night, I plead.

Sorry, but I have toso, I was at homewith Tonyasound asleep in bed, when Alice shows up on my doorstep. She told me I couldnt marry Tonya.

Im sorry to tell you this Dana, but Alice never really liked Tonyaand she never hid her feelings either.

Really? I never saw it!

Now I see what you mean about not being able to read people. So, youre asking me how to get Alice to get along with Tonya?


No, let me finish. So I answer the door and Alice is telling me I cant marry Tonya. So I ask her why. She tells me because. So, I say because what.

Cut to the chase Da…

She kissed me, she blurts out before I finish her name.

Ooohhand what did you say?

I didnt say anything.

So what happened?

I kissed her back.

Now is this the same kiss were talking aboutand you just didnt back away? Or did she pull away and you kissed her back?

She stopped, she cringes, then I kissed her back.

WowDana. How did it feel?

You knowyou dated Alice for awhile.

No, not how did it feel?I mean how did it FEEL, my last words accentuated by my hand over my heart.

It felt goodreally goodBette it just felt so she lets out a sigh, soright.

Then you have a lot of thinking to do. You cant take that chance with Alice if youre still with Tonyalearn from my mistakes. This much I CAN help her with.

But how do I know if she really has feelings for me? How do I know she didnt just do it to stop me from marrying Tonya?

Danayou have to think about how YOU feel, I try to convince myself Im worthy of handing out this advice. Dont think about Alicethink about whether you want to spend the rest of your life with Tonya or without her. If you find that you can live without Tonyathen tell herBEFORE you go after Alice.

With that, I have to change the subjectI cant keep talking about relationships when mine is such a messand what am I going to do about Candace?

We order and continue talkingabout about Danas training and touring schedule. After about twenty minutes were both silent for a brief moment.

Bette? Can I ask you something?

Go ahead, I reassure her, thinking shes about to ask for more advice. You can ask me anythingyou know that.

Whats going on with you and Tina? THATI wasnt expecting. Her words sear through me like a knife. I know Ive been talking about it with Father Andy, but I havent spoken to any of the girls about it.

I dont know Dana, I tell her, discouraged, I dont know. There are a few things I have to work out on my own, before I can share any of it with you guys. I wish I could tell you more. She seems at ease with my answershe doesnt want to push the subject.

Okay, she finally breaks in, as long as you know you can come to me if you need to talkin fact Im sure I speak for the others when I say you can go to any of them also.

I know. Thank youand thanks for lunch. I better get back to the office. I flag down our waiter and insist on paying the check. Dana relents and thanks me with a hug. I wish this lunch could have lasted foreverI really dont want to face Candace.

To Be Continued