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    Shane, Chapter 6

    Im a little cold. Reaching for the blanket I dont find it where I usually have it. I open my eyes and remember where I am. The hospital room seems warmer now than it did a moment ago. I can open my eyes without my head feeling like its about to explodeand my stomach seems to have calmed.

    How are you feeling this morning, Ms. McCutcheon?

    Shane, my name is Shane, I tell the nurse. You saw me at my worst…at least call me by my first name.

    Okay Shane, she replies pleasantly. Do you want to go for a walk? The doctor wants to know how well you can get around before she releases you.

    Yeah, I think I can, I say as I begin to sit up in bed. Heythanks for yesterday. You helped me through that withdrawal like a pro.

    I AM a pro, ShaneIm a nurse in case you dont remember.

    Right, I reply with a laugh.

    Im feeling much better todaywhen do you think I can get out of here?

    Well, the doctor has to make that decision, but, she says, helping me off the bed, you seem to be doing very well. How long have you been taking drugs?

    That was a blunt question! Why do you ask? I stand up holding her shoulder and fix my gown.

    Its just that cocaine withdrawal usually lasts longer in addicts.

    She wont believe me when I tell her this, butthats because Im not an addict. I just had a really rough night so I went for the escapeI went on a bender.

    How long did this bender last?

    It started Saturday morningI dont know when it ended. By the waywhat day is it? I ask her this last question as we walk down the hall guiding my IV pole, squeaking wheels and all.

    Its Fridayyour friendClive?…brought you in Wednesday night.

    You mean I was high for four days? Im surprised Im still alive.

    I guess so.

    *****! Uh sorryI didnt mean to say that out loud.

    Its okayIve heard worseIve SAID worse. We turn the corner as she says something else, you knowthe doctor will want to know that youre not just another junkie before she releases you.

    Cant I just sign myself out? I mean it wasnt the police that brought me in or anythingright?

    Youre right, but if you show her youre willing to cooperate and stay for awhile, shell be more apt to release you. She stops walking and nudges me toward a door. Here we are. What? Here we are where? The doctors insideshe wanted to see you. Great, just what I need right nowa lecture. The nurse knocks on the door and waits for an answer. Then she opens the door and prods me inside, quickly closing the door behind me.

    Theres woman sitting behind a desk reading some papers, two chairs facing her in front of the desk. She glances up from the papers without moving her head and looks back down. Have a seat Shane, she says, still reading the papers. Im not going to beat around the bush here, not giving me a chance to sit down. Youre very luckyyou could have been dead.

    I know, A say shyly, I feel like a reprimanded child. Here comes the lecture.

    She finally puts down the papers. I guess she needs both hands to hold all the guns. Im releasing you this afternoon. What? Did she just say releasing me? Its obvious by your lack of long term withdrawal symptoms that youre not a habitual drug user. She pauses. I dont know what to say. That being said, I would like to follow up with you next week and also next monthId like to make sure this weekend bender didnt turn you into a habitual drug user.

    Oh, okay, I say, not able to articulate a complete sentence.

    Why dont you go back to your room and call someone to pick you up. Im not releasing you unless someone is here to take you homeand a cab driver doesnt count.

    Great, who am I going to call? Bette? No, itll reminder her too much of Kits past problems. Alice? No, shell tell everyone else. Dana? Nojust no. I know, Tina!

    I walk out to the nurses station ready to make the call. Shes releasing me, I tell my nurse, but I have to call a friend to pick me up.

    Okaylets get you a telephone.

    I dial Bette and Tinas number. The answering machine. I cant leave a message, Bette might here it. I hang up the phone, resolved to call back later.



    After lunch, I give Tina another call. Again, the answering machine picks up. ShitFuck me! uh, oh. Did I say that out loud? Obviously I did, my nurse is coming over to me.

    Is everything alright? Would I have yelled an explicative if it was?

    Yeah, its justI cant reach the friend I thought could pick me up.

    Well, is there anyone else? she says, trying to be helpful. No, not reallyor is there?

    I have one more idea. I pick up the phone and dial.

    Hello?

    Hi, Kit? I begin, its ShaneI need a favor.

    After about ten minutes of trying to explain what happened, she agrees to come get me. Shell be here in an hour, I tell the nurse.

    To Be Continued

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