Im sitting here in front of Dan Foxworthy, intently concentrating on a piece of lint on the floor. I dont know where to start? I have so much I need to tell himso much I need to work through.

Are we to expect Bette in a few minutes, he asks innocently, unaware of whats happened.

I answer simply, no.

No? Are you upset that shes not here.

YesI mean noI mean yes

Which is it, Tina?

Both I guess, I cant seem to look at him. Im ashamed about what happened. Did I do everything he suggested? Did I follow all of his instructions? I just dont know.

Tell mean what you mean by both.

Well, Im glad shes not here because I dont think I can be around her right nowbut Im upset because of the reason, a lump catches in my throat..

What is the reason? Why cant you be around Bette right now?

I dont know if I can say it, I feel my lower lip begin to tremble as a single tear runs down my cheekthen another.

Is it that upsetting, that you cant even say the words, he asks. Everything he says upsets me more and more.

Yesit is.

Do you think it would be easier to say random words? Words that enter your mind when you think about what happened, hes trying to coax the information out of me. A lot of times thats what it takes to get started, and eventually you may form a coherent sentence.

I dont know.

Why dont you give it a try? Hes being very patient with me. He knows its something bigdoes he suspect what happened?

Why cant I do this? There are a lot of words I would associate with Bette Porter right now; words like painanger. Thats it Tinajust say them out loud. Painangerbetrayalshe hurt meshe hurt me so much.

How did she hurt you, Tina? What did Bette do you cause you so much pain?

She waswithanother woman.

With another woman? In what way? Is he that nave? He must know what I mean.

You know I say, not wanting to articulate more.