Bette became numb..she could not believe what she was hearing..she had so many questions but she knew that they should waitTina had to start giving this up on her own.then Bette could support her through the hard to reach stuff.all Bette could think about was how scared Tina was and why she now understood why she was a perfectionist when it came to running away

TBC

Tina got up and moved around the kitchen clearing up the tea stuff. Bette watched. Tina began to look at Bette with stern eyes.

Tina; Bette.you know what?

Bette; no baby what is it?

Tina: I remember the first time I slept with Eric. It was after my 21st and after my dad.took me

Bette felt a little sick at those words.

Tina: it was in my flat in Edinburgh.god it was sore..but I had made Eric wait forhow long was it..6 years.my god he was either a saint, a priest or a dab hand with his own hand if you know what I mean.

The 2 women chuckled at Tinas words.

Tina: I remember getting up and going to the bathroomno blood like last time I thought..I remember my dad looking for that and when he saw it he smiled and whispered to me.. first blood to dad

Bette looked at Tina. She was like a piece of stone telling the story of the people who had stepped on her. Her body was tense and her voice void of feeling. She spoke softly and that mixed with her accent made her look and sound just like a wee baby as opposed to a 33 year old mother of 2.

Tina continued as Bette listened

Tina; why did he say that? What did it mean? It baffled me when he left the room Bette, what a thing to say..I thought that he might have said, good shag, lousy shag, something constructive but he never.he left with the words of..a warrior.I didnt get it until the night I slept with Eric.

Bette moved towards Tina. Not touching her but letting her know that she was near.

Tina: when I went back into bed with Eric, he laughed a little and said that he was glad that the first breaking of the seal was over as I was like a piece of wood..

Tina turned to look at Bette.

Tina: (tears in her eyes and pain on her face)..both of them, notches on the belt, thats all it was, no feelings or love from either. Both major men in my life and not one wee bit of love or tenderness from them. Why the bloody ***** did I stay and let them do it? I have no idea Bette. ***** must be so bad, so wrong, so distant from love or making love. Or is it? Love vs *****, happiness vs unhappiness life is a two sided coin,heads you are ok, tails im going to kick the shite out of you choose..no let fate choose.or did I choose.maybe I tossed the coin myself by not standing up and shouting

***** OFF THE BLOODY LOT OF YOU AND LEAVE ME THE ***** ALONE.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bette was startled by Tinas loudness and at that moment in time knew that Tina needed time.time to trust..time to be held.time to be made special

Bette made mental notes of the things Tina said she missed and wanted and began to plot how to help Tina rebuild her life and learn to love and trust again.

Just as Bette was about to step forward and hold Tina the telephone rang. Tina looked at it and flipped the speaker button

Voice : Tina,,,,,,,,,,,its your dad.answer the phone..

Tinas face said it all. Vomit was about to hit the kitchen floor. Tina clearly racked her body in a movement meant only for being sick. She began to gasp and wretch. Bette watched in horror as she put the puzzle of the rumbling tummy together.

Voice: Tina..??????????????????

TBC