I said no, Alice…just, no

The insistence of a crazy wild stripper party bothered Shane about as much, if not more, than the talk of a commitment ceremony.

But Shane… whined the self-appointed maid of honor, hiring a stripper combines two of your greatest passions in life…women, and…

Alice scrunched up her face, desperately trying to make a case.

 Stripping? Dana offered.

Shane chuckled.

May I remind you two that we arent even sure were doing the whole ceremony thing. Id be just as happy to spend all the money ***** my brains out in Figi.

Dana giggled, imagining Shane and Carmen having a two-minute exchange of vows at the Planet before making a mad dash to a cab headed for the airport. She closed her eyes and steadied herself on the island in the middle of Shane and Carmens…well, Carmens kitchen, before deciding the couch was a safer bet. She was being covert, trying to hide how high she was from the joint she and Alice had shared in the bathtub before meeting Shane for a dinner of Chinese takeout and raunchy movies. Carmen was working late, and now that they were all coupled, going out prowling for tail at Milk had the feel of adultery…or something…but, she mused, when had they become such homebodies? Damn, she was hungry.

Im just saying that when you do(upon Shanes glare) yes, I mean when, were going to get ourselves a hot assed stripper to enjoy, thats all Im saying.

A little dance accompanied the hot assed stripper description. Dana failed to notice, busy studying the lap shade. Shane shrugged.

And all Im saying is that those women have ***** sad eyes, man. Besides the fact that you know theyre just degrading themselves for money and are probably straight and dont want to be rubbing up against you anyway…takes all the fun out of it.

The one time you have to be a feminist about something. Alice pouted and Shane gave her a *****-eating grin.

Dont worry Alyou can still kidnap me the night before and get me drunk off my *****.

Good, because its so wicked ***** when you cant remember my name the next morning.