Tina walked for what seemed like hours, her head buzzing while her eyes darted from lights, to glowing buildings, to dark alleys; people, animals, moving trash, and passing vehicles all catching her attention immediately as she made her way down the street. She had no clue where she was, or where she was going but she kept walking. She considered where she was, it could have been the bad part of the city, she wasnt sure; its not like shed ever been here or was in the state of mind to remember being there if she had. She wandered in the dark until she heard the faint sounds of drum and bass muffled in the distance. The part of her brain warning her of the facts; that she didnt know where she was and should probably find a phone were drowned out by the urge to forget, to have a good time. Listening as carefully as she could she moved in the direction of where she thought the music was coming from; eventually she came to, what looked like, an office building. At first she thought she was hearing things, it couldnt possibly be from here, but as she got even closer she realized it was coming from beneath the building; most likely the basement. As she paced her way around the structure she found a door that led inside that was unlocked, her boots padded against the tile softly as she walked down the hallway before finding a door that led to the basement. This has to be the right place, she thought. The floor was vibrating and she could feel through her boots. Looking around she slowly reached for the door handle, the vibrations passed through her fingers and the palm of her hand as it connected with the chilled metal. The shocks mocked her growing excitement at finding a party that was more her speed, with a grin that only her high could provide she took the metal steps that were behind the door down into the deep basement. It was cavernous. A dark room greeted her as she entered and descended the large staircase. She could hear the music but she saw nothing, and nothing saw her. She was inconspicuous, invisible, a nameless face of the outside world. It was the anonymity she always wished for. A ghostlike voice bounced off the high ceilings and met the walls creating a tornado of sound; throbbing bass and booming rhythm, a sinking maelstrom. Club kids, pulled and drowned in a juxtaposition of emotionless and emotion filled music with a resemblance of organized chaos. Tina had no idea how anyone had set this up, but was grateful that they had provided her with this escape of her increasingly bad night. Her feet hit the concrete floor of the basement and immediately she was pulled in. Ecstasy fueled bodies swelled around her; hands, arms, hips, lips, fingers, all brushed her skin and craved to touch. She worked most of the meth out of her system, sweating and panting within two hours, she hadnt taken a huge dose; and with the heavy using she had done previously she built up a hefty tolerance. Soon enough she was making friends in the chill out room, which in reality was probably once a janitors office. Now it was filled with fans and a soft couch along with a few beanbag chairs. Friends were good, friends meant a score. Buying a what she could from a girl with multicolored glowing plastic necklaces, she borrowed a bottle of water off of someone and swallowed a few pills down. As the stimulant worked its way through her system she found herself back between the oppressive sweat and heat of bodies. Normally she would probably become claustrophobic and irritated, but she wasnt really normal right now. Instead she delighted in it as sweat trickled down her back and she bounced up and down with the tinkering happy music; theres no way she could be pissed about anything right now. Right now she was a twenty year old party kid with no responsibilities and a love for everything and everyone. All too soon though, the basements over head lights came on and someone was shouting that it was time to hightail it out of there before business started for the day. Moaning and groaning the sticky youth heading for the exits. A group of them that Tina had stuck with throughout almost the whole time told her that they were going for breakfast and that she was welcome to join them. With the drugs wearing off she wasnt feeling all that hungry, but decided its probably be wise to eat something so she didnt pass out; climbing into the black cab of Glow-girls truck she decided to go with. ———————————————— Bette took off after Tina but lost her in the dancing crowd of the club, coming out of the exit she looked down the street for her ex but found no sign. Sighing she walked back into the club and towards the booth where Carmen was, telling her that she was leaving and that she would see her at the house in the morning. Pulling out of the parking lot Bette drove around keeping an eye open for that familiar blonde hair, by three in the morning she had found nothing and was practically falling asleep at the wheel. As she took the stairs up the porch and through the door she couldnt help but think of Tina and what she had seen that night. She never thought that she would see Tina do something so self destructive after all that she had been through with her mom and her brother; she also couldnt help but think that maybe by leaving Tina, she started her on whatever path the blonde was currently on and what had really happened during the time when they hadnt spoken. She was confused and hurt, she had no idea what the ***** was going on or what made Tina show up all of the suddenshe knew nothing, and thats one thing she hated; not having control of a situation Now more than ever though, she knew they needed to talk, and that Tina needed her. Getting a few hours of sleep in between her tossing and turning, she woke up at 5:48, made coffee and looked around the house for Tina. When she got through all of the rooms in the house and found no sign of her she got even more worried. Deciding that Tina had to come back sooner or later she took her coffee out to the front porch along with a few notes from her classes, studying and sipping as the sun broke through the dark chill of the night. She didnt know how much time passed before she looked up again, but when she stood up to stretch her stiff legs she saw that Tinas car, which was parked in her driveway, had the passenger side door open slightly. Frowning in confusion she put the mug of coffee down and walked across the blacktop to the other side of the car, looking through the window she couldnt help the small smile creeping onto her face as she remembered a few other times Tina and herself had fallen asleep in that same car. The passenger seat was reclined all the way back and Tina was facing the window with her right hand by her face and her left resting on her stomach. Bette couldnt help but think how adorable Tina was, and then quickly reprimanded herself for fear that she wouldnt be rightfully mad at Tina by recalling such imagery. Pulling open the door Bette bent down and shook Tinas leg lightly, when that didnt work, she shook harderand when that failed she started calling her name. Eventually her hand found the lever on the side of the car and lifted it while pushing the seat into an upright position. Worked like a charm, Tina woke almost immediately at the sudden jarring of her bed. What the *****, she said still half asleep. Bette could see that Tinas lucid state wasnt going to last long, so instead of starting that meaningful talk she tried to use the precious time to get her in the house. Come on Tee, lets get you in a bed Tina didnt argue, she didnt have the energy. With all the false adrenaline and ignorance zapped from her system, she turned back into the twenty year old mother who was running from everything and everyone. Bette helped her out of the car and shut the door while slipping and arm around Tinas waist, with her head resting on Bettes shoulder Tina let herself be guided up the stair and in the house until she was shaken out of her semi sleeping state by the need to be sick. She broke away from Bette and ran towards the bathroom with Bette right behind her. Soon the blondes early breakfast was making its way back up. Taking Tinas hair in her hands Bette held it out of the way while rubbing her back. It was a gesture that proved that they hadnt always been the strangers they were now to one another, a hint to their past; that they once used to be best friends. After Tina had finished Bette flushed the toilet and helped Tina sit on the closed lid while rinsing a washcloth and wiping the other girls face. Bette really had no idea who this person was, with her eyes half closed and rolling back in her head, from fatigue or whatever else Tina had done after she left the bathroom with Bette. Now wasnt the time to get into it though, so instead she slipped Tinas arm over her shoulder and led her to the spare bedroom. Pulling the sheets down she sat her former lover on the side of the bed and bent down to take her boots off. After she finished she pushed her back against the pillow gently and unbuttoned the other girls jeans, slipping them off quietly before pulling the comforter up to her chest. Bette stared for a moment feeling increasingly depressed by Tinas new lifestyle and the thought that she pushed her to itwhat had happened that was so horrible she didnt want to talk to Bette about it. They used to talk about everythingnot it seemed like they maybe hadnt really known each other at all. She smoothed Tinas hair out of her face and kissed her forehead, vowing that she would do anything to get Tina out of whatever trouble that she had gotten herself into. As she backed away and started folding Tinas jeans, she felt something in the pockets. She was scared to death of what she was going to pull out, but she let her curiosity get the better of her and stuck her hand in; pulling out four of five pills and a small bag of something the contents of which Bette didnt even want to guess at, she was shocked again. She saw the state that Tina was in last night, but the distress of finding the thing that made Tina into someone she couldnt recognize was a jolt of reality to the memory of the person she once knewher Tina wouldnt ever do something so foolishly self absorbedBette realized then that maybe it was true that Tina really didnt exist anymore, or at least as the person she once was. The brunette soon found herself crying silently as she slid to the floor of the guest bedroom with her back to the bed and the form sleeping atop it. Keeping the jeans close she let the tears fall to the hands that covered her face, not really knowing what else to do except let the sleeping girl rest.