Dear Jules,

Well let me begin by saying, Jenny, my oddball, tool shed, living neighbor, did in fact have an affair on her boyfriend, Tim. I was most insensitive regarding her indiscretions. I judged her poorly. I suppose what I see in myself is the ability to be unfaithful. An ability I wished never to possess. I see Jenny taking responsibility for her life. For her actions. I absolutely respect that about her. Perhaps it is Jennys understanding and acceptance of me regardless of my indiscretions. (Thank you for NOT considering me an oddball)

I know what I did was inexcusable. I cheated on my partner. Something as you said in your letter is a forgivable transgression. First, I must forgive myself. I feel horrible for my actions. I know they were wrong. Jules, I was lost, we had just lost our child, and my wife was shutting me out of this horrible time in our life. I was under so much pressure at work. Provocations was consuming me. I was trying to protect Tina, and I forgot to left myself mourn at this devastating loss.

Tina and I not meant to be? Oh the way my heart sank when I read those words. Then I sat down and thought of the past, I, myself, have question if our love was dying during one of our therapy sessions. What does this say?

I must admit that you are right when you say I have held myself in such high regards. I make no allowances for my mistakes. Others can make mistakes, but Bette Porter is not able to make any mistakes. Especially ones of this magnitude. I guess I need to realize I am not as perfect as I thought?

I know my marriage is falling apart, right before my eyes. But, you my friend are so wise. I must learn this life lesson in order to move forward either with Tina or perhaps on my own.

You are so right when you say I look at the art and see so much more then the bowl of fruit. What an amazing analogy. If I ever speak to Tina again, I may have to ask her if she sees more then the fruit. If the answer is no, then I suppose we both know where we need to go from here.
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Thank you for your kind words as well as your words that were most difficult to swallow. Friends like you are so few and far between.

With much appreciation and affection,
Bette