Bette and I have been seeing each other for a few weeks now and has been spending a ludicrous amount of time together. But hey, I aint complaining. Weve been blowing off our friends invitations (well actually Bettes friends since I havent actually told any of my friends I am datinga woman!) these past few weeks and I feel tonight we should at least show our faces. Bette has been so good to me patient in everything that I wasnt prepared to do. She promised to wait for me for until I was ready to take the next step. I know Ive been dreaming about it for the past few days now and I just couldnt help but think that maybe I really am ready.

I was lying in bed talking to Bette on the phone while waiting for the bath to fill up.

Bette: Do you want to?

Tina: Yeah why not? Just pick me up when youre done ok? I really dont think we should skip this babe. I mean, you havent really spent much time with the girls and I really dont want them to start hating me for it.

Well theyve all been really nice to me and friendly and all but I dont know. Maybe Bette hadnt noticed but there was something about the stares that I get from Shane that I find pretty peculiar. Does she dislike having me around? Or does she feel like Im stealing Bette away from her? Whats the deal? What is up with Shane?

Bette: Baby they dont hate you In fact, they want me to bring you

Tina: Ok, well, just come over and well go from here.

I hung up. Well, if I want Bette to LOVE me, I definitely have to win her friends too. And speaking of friends, I havent really told anyone I was dating a woman. I really dont know what this is. I mean how am I supposed to tell everyone that Im dating a woman considering the fact that I had Eric as my ex? It has only been a month or so, can someone turn ***** in that short while? Am I fully *****? Or am I bi? I know I still find some men attractive, but when I see Bette, shes all I could think of. *****, shes the only thing on my mind.

I took my relaxing bath, trying not to think of Shane, of my friends and family, or of when Ill be ready for Bette.

I was awakened by the door bell. *****! I slept in the tub! That probably is Bette. My wine glass toppled over into the tub. Hmm I put my robe on and dashed for the front door.

Bette: Hey beautiful. Err You er (Bettes eye traveling up and down)

Tina: I fell asleep in the bath. (I smiled cheekily )

Bette cleared her throat; it felt somewhat of a triumph to know I had that effect on her.

Bette: Te Tee? Do you need help drying yourself? I, I can give you a hand

Bette closed the door behind her, her eyes fixed on me. We didnt break the eye contact. She was standing there looking at me; her eyes piercing through my eyes bore deep into my soul. God she is beautiful. I wanted her to hold me, to take me right then. I knew she wanted it. And I know I wanted it too. She moved closer, threw her bag on the floor and reached for my arms.

She touched my cheek and I felt the warmth of her hand. Our eyes still locked into each others stare. She brushed my cheek with her thumb and smiled. She leaned closer and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes; just a soft touch makes me want to beg for more. My knees wanted to give up on me. I feel lost in her touch.

She pulled back; her eyes reading my unmistakably apparent longing. I wanted to say something, wanted to tell her that Ive wanted for her to do things to me, and I to her, but those words just got caught in my throat. I stood still braving myself from falling under her spell, which I was clear enough to lose. Her smile alone can break the walls I have around me, and will send my emotions reeling. I could hear my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. The thumping I could feel in my head. I felt giddy, excited, nervous, and anxious all at that moment.

Bette, please do something, please do something! Please! I bit my lower lip and licked it. I want to taste her, taste her in my mouth. She must have read my mind cos this time she pressed her lips against mine, slowly kissing me. Slowly making me feel alive. She tasted so good, I know I didnt want it to stop. I parted her lips with my tongue; pushing it between her open and ready lips.

Bette now has both her hands wrapped around me on my waist and mine around her neck. I didnt want to let go. I didnt want it to end. The kiss was hungry more than passionate. Both of us clearly wanted it and both of us clearly didnt want it to end. But Bette suddenly pulled back. We still had our arms around each other. Both were trying to catch each others breaths.

Bette had her eyes closed. Her breathing slowly getting back to normal but I could see her heart beating through her shirt. I didnt know how nervous and afraid she was until she opened her eyes. It scared me to see the way she was now. Her eyes looking at me confused, trying to question what the ***** just happened. She was looking at me as if we had just done something terribly wrong. And that wasnt what I wanted it to be. Because to me, it all felt right. More right than anything else.

Tina: Baby?

Bette just stared at me and dropped her head, looking at her feet. I put my hand on her chin and lifted her head so she was now looking at me.

Tina: Baby? Are you ok?

Bettes eyebrows furrowed. She looked totally confused.

Bette: Tee, Im, I dont think

Tina: Baby, dont think No need to think

Bette: But Tee, Im so scared

Tina: Everythings going to be fine Babe. Everythings going to be fine

I pulled her close and she held on to me tight. I could hear a few mumbles coming from her.

Tina: What is it baby?

Bette was silent. I stroke her hair. Bette pulled away for a moment but I held on to her tight.

Tina: Hey

Bette: Tee

Tina: Baby what is it?

Bette: Im Im scared.

Tina: What scares you baby?

I look at her as she bowed her head.

Bette: Im scared that Im scared that

Bette lifted her head her eyes wandering.

Tina: What is it?

Bette: Ive fallen for you Tee Ive fallen for you and Im scared I love you Ive never

Tina: Shhhh Baby Shhh.

Bette: Im scared baby. I dont want you to leave me

Tina: Baby? Where is this coming from? Why would I leave you? I wouldnt

Bette: I, I dont know I just

Tina: Baby?

Bette: Ive never felt so strongly about someone before and and what just happened here scared me Tee

Tina: But why baby? We both want it so bad

Bette: I know but what if What if

Tina: Be

Bette looked at me.

Bette: What if, you decided that this isnt what you wanted? What if we continued what we were doing, and then I couldnt give what you wanted? And I couldnt fulfill your desire? Would you leave me Tee? Would you leave?

I couldnt believe what I was hearing. Bette was insecure. She was scared I was leaving her over something that we havent even started nor tried!!! My baby was scared I looked at her and her eyes started to water I kissed her eyes wanting to dry her tears.

Tina: Baby, I would never leave I love you. I have been since I saw you. I love you the day at the gallery

I took her hand in mine.

Tina: and this

I loosened my robe and placed her hand on my chest so she could feel my heart beating.

Tina: beats for you baby. It will continue beating as long as I have you. It will only stop beating if I no longer have youAnd I hope Ill always have you babeAlways So do you know why I will never leave you baby?

Tears fell from her eyes and she smiled.

Bette: You said you love me? You love me?

I bit my lower lip and nodded.

Bette: You make me so happy baby I love you too Tee I love you so much! And I promise you, I would never leave you baby.

Just listening to her say that makes my heart flutter; it still does. Even after the years that have gone by, she still has the same effect on me. The sight of her makes me want to hold her, her touch makes me want to give up everything, her kiss makes me weak in the knees and the thought of her still makes me want to run into her armsWell… She still is the love of my life…