Please Baby……please dont do this. Bette whispered her plea into her partners ear, knowing that this last attempt would be futile, but still held on to an ounce of hope, that with one more try she could get Tina to change her mind. They were standing with their arms around each other in the security line at JFK airport, saying goodbye once again, as today was the day Tina was flying back to Seattle.

Bette, we have talked about this over and over again. This is what I want…please, youre just going to have to respect my decision.

But Tina, its the wrong decision…I can feel it my bones. And, we havent talked about it enough as far as I am concerned. My God, you wouldnt even let me mention it the whole time we were on vacation… Bette stopped for a moment to glance away, hearing a little girl giggling and wiggling around in her mothers arms. She looked back at Tina with such sadness, that Tina could feel her heart break just a little bit more. She struggled to ignore the pain, just as she had been attempting time and time again over these last two weeks.

Bette motioned for Tina to look at the little girl by nodding her head in that direction…and as Tina looked over, Bette leaned in, and resting her forehead on the side on Tinas head, started talking to her in a voice that was full of fear, and laced with insecurities. I thought you wanted me to help raise your children. You said you wanted their lives to be influenced by living with me. You said you wanted them to live in a two parent household. She paused, once again watching the happy little girl and her mother sharing a special moment in the middle of a busy airport.

Tina…Baby, this isnt just about you and I living together. This is also about me not being able to live with your children. Children whom I have loved from the moment I laid eyes on them. Bette continued in a scared whisper. Didnt you mean any of what you said?

Tina lifted her hand up and lightly traced Bettes jaw line with her middle finger, knowing that if Bette could get her to change her mind, it would be by bringing up her children. She looked into the soulful eyes of her lover…eyes that could tell every story, reflect every emotion…just as if you were watching a movie screen. Of course I meant it. I meant every word.

Then why are you doing this? I want to live with you…I am willing to move to Seattle in order to do just that. I still dont understand why you wont let me.

Tina looked directly into Bettes eyes, hoping she could make Bette understand why she was taking this hard line. Because Baby, you shouldnt just be willing to move…you should want to move. Does that make sense?

Bette shook her head. No T..it doesnt. I WANT to be with you, therefore I am WILLING to move to Seattle.

Tina smiled at her beautiful, but stubborn partner, cupping her face in between her hands, rubbing her thumb over Bettes bottom lip. You have been given so much in your life…yet you have lost so much as well. You deserve to be totally and completely happy. WE deserve to be happy…and in the end, I dont think either one of us will be if you have to leave everything and everyone you love in New York, just to start yet again in Seattle. I dont want you to come to me because you are willing to…I want you to come to me because you want to with every ounce of your heart. And right now, thats just not the case.

Bette reached up, removing Tinas thumb from her lips, her exasperation apparent. Youre killing me here, T. I WANT to come to you, Ok? What do you want me to do…shout it from the mountain tops? You and I both know that the circumstances are never going to be perfect, and if we try to wait for that, we may never live together! Bette looked away, then looked back, her eyes filled with tears. Look T…I admit that there are people and things I dont want to leave behind…and the thought of living in dreary Seattle doesnt hold a lot of appeal for me, but Baby, I will be Ok…in fact, by being with you, Ill be so much more than Ok…because you bring so much more into my life. If the choices are to live in New York without you and your children, or live with you in Seattle, without my gallery, or my family…I choose you, Baby. Milaine is an adult now. She doesnt need me around every day, and its time for us to separate anyway…besides the fact that she wont even be here all of next year. Bette took a deep breath. Come on…please Baby… She gently took Tina by her shoulders and softly shook her back and forth. Tell me that I can go home and pack my bags cause you and I are going to be together for the rest of our lives.

Bette, we are going to be together. Just because we arent living together doesnt mean that we wont see each other. I think you coming out for a long weekend every other week will work out fine for now.

Bette almost blurted out that it would be fine for Tina, because she wasnt the one having to spend so much time flying back and forth, but didnt want to take the chance that Tina would get defensive and then tell her to come only once a month instead…or even worse. With this Tina…the really stubborn one, she would take what she could get!

At this point, she was at a loss. Nothing she said seem to even put a dent in Tinas resolve that this was their only solution. In fact, Tina had been adamant that they not discuss this at all on their trip to Paris and St Barths…refused to talk to Bette if she mentioned it, and would ignore her until Bette changed the subject to something more neutral. It had been the most frustrating experience of her life, but Tina had insisted she wanted their vacation to be full of love and passion…and fun. She didnt want to make any decisions, she didnt want to have to make any future plans. She just wanted to spend two weeks loving and being loved by Bette. And, after the first two days of trying to get Tina to talk about her moving to Seattle, Bette had finally given up, and settled into giving her partner exactly what she wanted.

Bette smiled at the memory. She had to admit that after their rocky start, they had a wonderful time… from snuggling up with breakfast in bed, to the long walks across the beautiful bridges of Paris…and the mesmerizing beaches of St Barths, to the long luxurious massages with an ocean front view. And then, there was of course, the *****….Bette could feel herself becoming aroused just thinking about making love with Tina. They had physically exhausted each other, both fearful that they wouldnt have an opportunity to be together like this for a very long time, and wanted to take advantage of every moment. It still surprised Bette that she and Tina could be so physically attracted to each other, even after all these years. In fact, Bette had been more than grateful on many occasions that her ***** drive had actually increased as she approached menopause, rather than decreasing as was happening with many of hers and Nicas friends. She needed every ounce of this improved ***** drive that she could muster up, just to stay close to the very ferocious drive of Ms. Tina Kennard!

Bette lowered her forehead back onto Tinas. Im sorry Baby.

Sorry for what? Tina picked her head up, looking at Bette in confusion.

Im sorry for not being able to help you to understand why I believe we should live together. Im sorry for not being able to show you just how much I want to live with you, and help raise your children. Im sorry for…

Miss?

Bette looked up at the sound of the interruption, and realized they were at the head of the line, and they were waiting for Tina to put her purse on the conveyer belt and to go through the metal detector.

Babe, Ive got to go. Tina wrapped her arms around Bette. Please dont apologize for anything. We will be fine…youll see. I love you.

Miss!

Ok…go on…I love you too. Bette released Tina, and grudgingly watched her as she made her way through security, and then waved good-bye when she got to the other side.


~ ~ ~


For what must have been the hundredth time, Bette felt absolutely and utterly confused. The thought of Tina being in Seattle, while she was trying to live her life in New York was killing her. Was it because absence really does make the heart grow fonder that her motivation to fight for them to be together was so strong? Or was it because she really did want to live with Tina and her children, no matter the sacrifices, and that she was willing to keep on trying to convince Tina of the same thing?

Dammit…enough! I am done with this! Bette was pacing in her office, having the same conversation in her mind, asking the same questions that she had been asking for the last six months.

Six months…thats how long it had been since they had come back from their vacation. Six months…thats how long Bette had been flying back and forth between New York and Seattle, twice a month…every month. And, in all that time, she had only had to cancel twice. Well, enough was enough! Bette had finally hit her limit. She couldnt take the commuting any more. It was way too hard on her physically, and for as much as she hated to admit it, way too hard on her work schedule. Tina had asked her to spend three days with them every other week. And, when you add a day of traveling both coming and going, it meant that Bette was gone ten days out of every month…and it was finally taking its toll.

Enough! Enough with the questions…enough of this back and forth life style. Bette was finally willing to not only admit that this wasnt working, but she was now determined to do something about it! For as much as she loved New York, loved spending time with Milaine, Kit, and Leslie…she knew her heart, and her future was in Seattle.

Bette looked up at the clock, and then reached for the phone. It was time to take control…and even though she knew that she had worked so hard for so many years to let go of her many control issues, she also got it that there were times in ones life when you had to step up and take back that control, and do what you knew in your heart of hearts, was the right thing. How many times had Bette told Tina that her home was where Tina was? Well, it was time to prove that she meant it! And at this point, she didnt care what Tinas reaction was going to be. She would buy a house in Seattle and move there on her own, if she had to! She was done messing around!

Bette had to laugh at herself just for a moment, as she visualized herself all dressed up like John Wayne, going after Tina and throwing her over her shoulder, carrying her off into the sunset…just as The Duke had done with Maureen OHara.

And sitting at her desk smiling at her fantasy, she felt an incredible feeling of freedom washed over her for the first time in eleven months. With a quick, determined nod, she picked up the phone, and called the first person on her list…Victoria Bernard. She had to make sure she was still interested in managing her gallery…then it was calls to Kit, Milaine, and Leslie.


~ ~ ~


Soorrryyy… Bette apologized to the young man she had just accidently bumped into as she flew by him, making her way to her gate at JFK. She was late! For the first time in years, she was having to actually run to catch a plane, just like you see in the movies. And, she was most definitely cursing her choice in shoes this morning! Fortunately, after twenty odd years of wearing two and three inch heels, she was an expert in getting around in them, although that didnt make them any more comfortable as she was weaving in and out of her fellow travelers, trying desperately to not miss the plane that was going to take her……home.

She finally reached her gate, only to find that they were about ten minutes behind schedule, and most of the passengers were still waiting to board. She blew out a big breath in relief, and with her first class boarding pass in hand, Bette immediately got in line. As she was approaching the doors to the breeze way, her cell phone went off. Struggling to adjust her carry on items in her arms, she answered without looking at the caller ID.

Hello, she breathed out, still out of breath from her mad dash.

Bette?

Yes.

Bette, its Dan.

Bettes brow furrowed, and she immediately stepped out of line. Dan? Hi. This is a surprise. She hesitated, already feeling a pit of dread growing in her stomach. Is everything Ok?

Bette… There was silence for a couple of seconds…seconds that seemed like hours to Bette.

Theres been an accident.

Oh God… Bette leaned against the wall, trying to keep her wobbling knees from collapsing. Its Tina, isnt it? She whispered her question, squeezing her eyes shut in anticipation.

Yes.

Without realizing it, her voice rose in both octave and volume. Dan, tell me, is she Ok? What happened? Oh God…please….please let her be Ok.

I dont know everything yet. The police just called me. They are on their way to the hospital now. All they could say over the phone is that she is alive, but that she is definitely hurt. Dan stopped for a moment, his voice cracking. I guess she was out jogging this morning and was hit by a car. Im on my way now, but I knew that you would want to know….I knew you would want to come.

When she heard Dans voice break, she felt all her strength leave her body and she slowly slid down the wall. Thats when she could also hear his tears, and his soft, but desperate plea. Please Bette, can you come? I need you here…I need your help reassuring the kids. His voice lowered to a whisper. They love you Bette. I know they would feel better if you were here. And, I know that Tina would want you by her side.

Oblivious of the concerned onlookers, Bette was now kneeling on the floor, slowing rocking back and forth, her head bent forward, her long beautiful curls covering her face . She couldnt believe what she was hearing. It couldnt be… She immediately thought of Nica stepping off the curb…then all she could see was Tina’s beautiful, smiling face.

Not Tina…please God…not again. This cant be happening again!

tbc