Bette met my eyes, smiling tenderly. She shook her head absently, as if a thought in her mind had disagreed with itself.

You have years of wisdom which far surpass your age. she said quietly, sitting back as if she were appreciating me from a distance.

I laughed, blushing at her words. Coming from someone so much older and with a ***** of a lot more experience under their belt, really shocked me and at the same time made me feel good. As if her words were a buzz from a drug, enlightening my mind for a moment and then settling inside me to wait for a time when I would need reassuring again.

Thank you Bette, that’s very kind of you.

I mean it Trix, and don’t thank me. I am the last person you should be thanking right now, it should be me thanking you. I know if I had been sitting in this car with anyone else I would be doing something that Id end up regretting for the rest of my life.

I swallowed hard, the very thought of Bette and I doing anything which we would regret frightened me more than words could express. I simply would not know what to do if I betrayed Millie in any way, I would be lost and my existence would have become pointless and trivial, as it had been before Millie had come into my life. I never wanted to go back to that life, I never wanted to have any other life than the one I wanted with Millie.

You should go back to Tina now and tell her how much you love her Bette, that’s certainly what Im going to be doing! Well trying to do anyway. I exclaimed, the nerves in my stomach moving up to my chest and manipulating my voice to sound erratic and brazen within the tone.

Ok, Ill talk to you tomorrow to finalise the flights and give you the times for everything. Good luck Trixie, you and Millie deserve to be happy together. Im sorry I threatened that in any way.

Bettes words were kind, but the fact that she said, threatened in any way, made me wonder of she even knew her own power over this evening. I told myself not to think too much into it, I had to concentrate on what I was going to say to Millie.

Im sure every things going to be ok Bette, thanks for the ride and Ill talk to you tomorrow. I said, stepping out of the car. Oh and good luck with Tina.

Bette smiled and said her good-byes before roaring off into the night. I stood on the pavement and turned towards the hotel. Ok so I was either going to get down on my knees and beg or use my powers of seduction to show Millie how much I loved her. Probably best to stick with the first one, I couldn’t see her appreciating me simply jumping her. That’s if she even lets me in or talks to me at all. Ok I had to stop thinking about what could happen and actually find out what was going to happen.

Taking a deep breath I walked up to the front doors, inside there was a large group of rowdy people surrounding reception. Talking loudly and laughing, bags and suitcases littered the floor and small children ran around screaming and enjoying their simple games. I smiled to myself, I didn’t think letting Millie know I was on my way up would help my element of surprise too much. So I sneaked past and made my way to the stairs situated next to the elevators. Standing in the lobby waiting for the elevator in plain view of everyone, especially the people behind the desk wouldn’t have been the best way to slip past unnoticed.

I stood at the foot of the stairs and leant over the railing to look up. *****, Millie had to be on the top bloody floor. Well I guess this would be my equivalent to half an hour on the Step Master, at the gym. Not that I had stepped foot inside a gym for a good few months.

I began on my mission, concentrating on Millies face in my mind. Playing through all the different ways tonight could play out, good and bad. I ignored the burning in my chest and picked up the pace of my feet, taking two steps at a time and swinging myself round onto each new level. I kept track of each floor passing me by, as I neared the top. I laughed to myself, thinking how the air should be thinner seeing how high up I was, but I think I could put my difficulty in breathing purely down to the fact that I was so unfit. I walked up the last flight of stairs and nearly collapsed at the top. I steadied myself on the railing and tried to settle my breathing and the intense burning of lactic acid which was pumping round my body.

Taking a deep breath of satisfaction, I opened the fire escape door onto Millies floor. The quietness of the hallway was an eery change to the thumping of my steps and my ragged breathing which had been echoing in my ears all the way up the stair well.

I cleared my throat and ran my fingers through my hair, hoping I didn’t look as beat red and dishevelled as I felt.

I walked down the corridor, my mind had gone helpfully blank and all I could think about was how spongy the carpet was under my feet. Yeah, analysing the carpet was going to help get back the love of my life.

I reached Millies door and looked left to right down the corridor, my palms sweaty and my nerves had well and truly returned two fold.

I knocked, having to steady my shaky hand as it rapped twice against the painted timber of the door. I waited, the seconds feeling like hours. As I looked at the door I remembered the peep hole which I had used the other day and took a step to the side so Millie couldn’t see me. It was lame and childish, but she was probably more likely to open the door knowing I wasn’t standing on the other side. I knocked again, becoming impatient.

Who is it? Millies voice came suddenly from behind the door.

I smiled at the sound of her voice, but that disappeared quickly as she sounded pretty pissed off.

Room service. I said, cursing myself for not disguising my voice.

There was a sigh and I waited patiently, my finger running up and down the edge of the door frame. Thinking that was all there was between Millie and I.

I haven’t ordered any room service Trixie.

I stepped out of my hiding place and bowed my head.

How did you even get up here, I told the man on the desk not to let anyone up.

I winced at the tone of her voice, the idea of her letting me in and forgetting everything that had happened quickly trickling away.

I didn’t talk to the man at the desk. I said, keeping my head bowed still.

Then youre trespassing, you should leave before I call them and they kick you out.

What? Millie don’t talk like that, come on let me in this is a big misunderstanding. I said, annoyed at how she was acting towards me.

Yeah I know, a misunderstanding that I could ever trust you.

I looked up, my eyes narrowed and my jaw set in a steely frown. I had to tell myself to control my anger because that wouldn’t help get my point across.

Millie, Bette took my hand moments before you walked in because she had just offered to pay for my to go to LA so I could be with you and shes given me a job in her gallery next ***** week!

The was silence from the other side of the door, I leant my head against it. Wanting to touch the woman on the other side.

Come on Mill, you know I would never do anything like that, I love you for Christ’s sake, what else do you want me to say!

How did you get here?

I straightened up, confused at such a question.

What?

I said, how did you ***** get here Trixie. Did Bette drive you?

I sighed, rubbing my forehead a head ache starting to thump against my temples.

Yes she did, she wanted to help me out Mill because she felt bad about upsetting you. I said honestly, thinking it was probably best to leave out the whole hand on my knee part of the journey.

I don’t like her interfering with you Trix, I don’t like her paying for you to be with me. You wont accept money from me, what makes her so different?

Because shes paying me for my art and she needs me to be in LA so I can get it done in time for her show or what ever. Its not a hand out Mill, Ill be working for the money shes paying me. I said, feeling tired to be always jumping from one emotion to the other all the time.

Why couldn’t things just be easy and simple, why was everything such hard work.

You should of told me. she said quietly, I could hear her voice was closer to the door. So placed my hand against it, desperately searching for the warmth of her body against the coolness of the inanimate fixture.

Let me in Millie, please. I practically whimpered, feeling tired and alone standing in the empty corridor when the only thing I cared about was just on the other side of a door.

There was a pause, then I heard the chain being pulled back and I stepped back as the handle was pushed down. I held my breath as the door opened, everything slowed down and I knew nothing else mattered at that moment. The instant our eyes met we both moved soundlessly into each others arms. Gasping at the contact we had been craving for all evening. I pushed my face into her neck, breathing in the sweet smell of her shampoo and perfume.

Im sorry. came the muffled words against my shoulder.

I planted a kiss against her neck, feeling the answering judder from her intake of her breath. My hand held the back of her head, as my lips continued to caress the soft skin as slowly as I dared. Millie held me back tightly, her breathing changing pace against my ear as I rediscovered the woman I loved so much.

I love you. I whispered, my lips against her ear.