“What did you expect to happen?”, Alice thought to herself as she stood up among the crowd, who awaited her toast. I mean, did you really think that because you shared some of the most incredible and mind-blowing ***** that you’ve ever experienced that she’d just rush off and cancel her wedding? That she’d confess her undying love to you and you’d ride off into the freakin sunset!? Well, how fucked are you Alice? Because for a moment there you did. You thought to yourself, hey this is Dana, your best friend, the one who knows everything there is to know about you. Even the things you wish she didn’t. “Oh God all these people are waiting for you!” “Okay be cool.” Alice tells herself as she drifts back into her thoughts again. The one that could look into your eyes and know exactly what you are thinking. Who last night, touched and tasted you in places others seemed to have missed. Whose kisses still had your mouth tingling. She fidgets with her dress as she tries to refocus her thoughts. The one whose simple presence makes you want to be in that exact place and time forever and with just one look into those Carolina blues, you know there’s nothing more you’d rather see in all the world. “Did you really think that you were the one?”, That this amazing woman you never know you dreamed of would pick you?. Damnit Alice contain yourself!! But there she is looking as radiant and as elegant as you’ve ever seen her. Committing herself to some else. “And there’s nothing you can do”. She tells herself during a nervous laugh. Committng herself to someone you know won’t love her the way you do, that won’t ever know her the way you know her,and someone who will never truly see her the way that you do when you gaze upon her beautiful face. No matter what you try and tell yourself Alice,you know that you’re not okay with this. You know that right now your heart is slowly and painfully breaking as you stand in front of the crowd and the woman you love, toasting to a wedding you don’t want to ever see happen. “And what do you do?”, “You just smile”,Alice tells herself as she raises her glass to begin her toast. TBC