No matter how you try to down play it. It meant something to you. You knew before it even happened that it would be more than *****.
You’ve dreamt of it for weeks. Wondering what it would be like to taste her, to feel her. How she would react when you placed your fingers inside her warm center. How she would arch her back to take you in deeper as you pushed her over the edge.
This was not just a thing. Some one night-stand. You wanted it to be the beginning of forever. All your heart and soul went into every kiss, every caress, every breathe you took was like the last with her. Being with her was the ultimate for you and you never wanted to let go.
You try to pretend that seeing her with someone else doesn’t bother you but it tears you apart. You want to be the other woman. The one she kisses everynight before she falls asleep, the one she says “I Love you” to. How deeply you wish she’d hold you the way she holds her. Or smile at you the way she smiles at her.She has such a beautiful smile. It could be seen for a thousand miles. When did you fall in love you can’t say. You just know that at this moment, at this exact time, nothing else matters. Nothing seems to come close to what you feel right now. You long to tell her just how amazing she is. How much she truly completes you. You must have rehearsed it a million times in your head, but when you finally get up the nerve it never seems to come out right. You’ve fantasized about how life would with her as your lover. How she would be the first and last person you saw everynight, how you’d stay in on a rainy day, cuddling in bed just listening to the raindrops fall. All those new memories you’d make together. As one. You and her. It would be strange at first when for so long she was just you friend, but you’s get over that awkward phase and come into your own. Oh, to be the one. Although, you told yourself nothing has changed. It has in a major way. When you walked into the party, wearing the outfit it took hours to decide on, you wanted her to notice. You wanted her to take one look into your brown eyes and know that you are what she needed. Instead, you stood there alone watching her look lovingly at the woman she would soon marry. As you look on, each and every thread of your heart starts to rip from the seams. Why? Why? Is it not you she chose? You try to shrug it off but no matter how you try to down play it. It meant something to you. It meant the world to you. And she is just that…your world.