EPILOGUE

Eight months later, Tina gave birth to a healthy baby boy, whom they named Matthew Timothy Kennard-Porter. Alice was disappointed they didnt name him Al, but she got over it.

Not long after the baby was born, Tim proposed to Brandy. Bette helped him pick out the ring, and when Alice got wind of it, she insisted on helping. She concocted an elaborate scheme where she had Tim take out a newspaper ad and then elaborately propose to Brandy with the old ring in the wineglass trick. The newspaper misspelled Brandys name and then she choked on the ring. After giving her the Heimlich and retrieving the ring, Tim recovered and did things his way. She accepted.

Alice is, of course, planning the wedding. Dana is the maid of honor, while Bette is the best man. Tina is in charge of flowers, Lara is catering, Ivan is in charge of music, Shane is the photographer, Kit and Marina are planning and hosting the reception at The Planet, and Jenny is writing the announcements and invitations. Tim reminds her daily to keep her imagination at bay while doing this. Lucy is going to be the flower puppy and ring bearer. Alice plans to attach the rings to Lucys collar, and Bette has her doubts that this will work. The wedding will be held in Bette and Tinas backyard.

Jenny moved in with Marina as soon as they arrived back in L.A. They have been happily together ever since, hardly apart from one another for more than a few hours. They are currently considering parenthood. Jenny is excited about the idea and hopes being pregnant will give her inspiration for her writing. She has published three short stories.

Lara is doing better, and has now entered her third week of remission after an amazing battle. She still works at The Planet, and has been dating the nurse from the cancer clinic. Obviously, Operation Gaydar was a success. The nurse did realize what was going on, however, and she and Lara have a good laugh about it.

Kit and Ivan have been tentatively dating, and are taking things slowly and carefully. Bette has learned to fully accept it and Ivan, and admits his charm has won her over. She often jokingly refers to him as her future brother in-law. Kit and Ivan often perform duets together on music night at The Planet. Kit has also recently reopened the lines of communication with her son David, and, with Bettes help, they are planning to once again try and meet.

Shane is…well, shes still Shane. She doesnt go through quite as many women as she used to, and she and Officer Hutchinson meet three times a month in Room 105 to regularly play cops and robbers.

Alice and Dana have been dating steadily and are preparing to move in together into Danas condo. Alice has even learned to clean the litterbox, mainly because she hates the smell of cat *****. They have found many uses and opportunities for Shanes handcuffs, and are considering buying a Bubba of their own. Dana recently narrowly defeated Anna Kournikova to win at Wimbledon, which made her parents so proud that they called her. Theyre still not happy about their daughters sexuality, but Alice is slowly winning them over, and theyre coming around. Howie did eventually get over seeing Dana and Alice with the vibrator, and didnt need therapy.

The Planet is thriving and business is booming, thanks to Marinas management, Kit and Ivans music nights, and Laras cooking. It didnt hurt that Alice wrote a glowing article about The Planet for L.A. Magazine, which nearly doubled business overnight.

Lucy has grown much bigger, but is a little less clumsier, but still often causes trouble because its just in her nature. She seems thrilled to have a baby brother. She often joins Tim and baby Matthew in the pool for swimming lessons, which infuriates Bette. But, as Tina reminds her, they dont have to clean the pool anyway since they hire someone for that, so why not let Lucy have her fun.

Thanks to Shane, Bette and Tina still have not run out of diapers. They still havent gotten the courage to ask about the story behind them. Theyre too afraid of what the answer might be, because really, there are just some things youre better off not knowing.

And they all lived happily ever after. Or something like that.