Pacing the room and up and down Tina was trying to decide what to do. Not only wasnt she in the mood for a fancy dinner, she didnt have anything proper to wear and her hair was a mess. Just as she was deciding to cancel the date, she heard the knock at the door.

“Yes?” Tina asked, opening the door to find Shane smiling at her.

“What happened to you?” asked Tina, concerned drawn all over her face.

Taking Shanes hand, Tina pulled her in. Looking at her, holding her hand, she whispered,

“Are you ok?”

Noticing the anguish look on Tinas face, Shane tried to smile again. The lip was hurting as well as the cheek but she was feeling somehow, ok.

“Am ok Tee…is nothing…”

“Are you sure?, did a doctor see you?” tried Tina again.

“Yeah…dont worry ok?”

Nodding, leaving her bag on the floor, Shane moved away from Tina, trying to put some space between them, trying to move on. Looking up at Tina, as if nothing was going on, she said,

“So, Al says you have a problem..”

“What?” Tina asked, confused, still unable to move her eyes from Shanes wounds.

“Your date…your fancy dinner”

“Eh?…right…no…am not going…” Tina said, walking towards the kitchen, thinking about Shane, trying to find out what was going with her.

“You want something to drink?” she asked.

“No, thanks…you not going?…why…?” Asked Shane walking to Tinas side.

I have noting to wear and my hair is a mess…besides…am huge, am fat…is hot outside…I…I dont know…” mumbled Tina, trying to keep herself occupied.

“Tee…” Shane said taking Tinas hand, “…you are beautiful…(checking her up)..I dont think Ive seen you more beautiful…ever…and your hair…thats what am here for” she finished, playing with Tinas hair.

Nodding, Tina shyly smiled.

“Come on…let me see…” Taking Tinas hand, Shane lead her towards the bathroom.

Following Shane, Tina wondered about her friend, about her problems. Nodding, she realized that she was not going to get anything from her, not till she felt ready to share it.

Sitting Tina down on a wooden chair, Shane caressed her hair.

“So, whats this dinner for?” she asked, placing Tinas head on the sink.

“Its a benefit…for the kids..” Feeling the cold water cooling her head, feeling her muscles relaxing, Tina closed her eyes.

Feeling Tina relaxing under her touch Shane remained quiet. But then, out of nowhere she found herself saying,


***

Trying to find the ear plugs, Alice cursed. The light was going to turn green and she needed to call Dana.

“Finally! She screamed as the light turned green.

Putting on the ear plugs, she dialled before driving away.

“Dane?..yeah…yeah…on my way…yeah sure…what?…yeah I did..she has a fancy dinner or something..yeah…she sounded fine…she was busy…no, I dont think it was that….yeah ok…I will try again…what?…am loosing you Dane!….what fridge?….Dane?…..what?…ohh, a bridge…ok..yeah, dont worry…yeah Bette knows nothing…ok…dont forget the drinks!!…ok…Ill pick you up at seven…yeah Jenny knows too,ok, what?…(giggling)…you more…no..you…yeah?(sighing) you,you first…ok…you will see…tonight!(chuckling)..yeah, I promisse”

Hanging up, Alice smiled. Shaking her head she could not believe how silly she was, how happy she felt. Whistling, she put her shades on.



***

Shanes words came out of her mouth shyly, trembling.

“Tee, How do you know when you are in love?”

Surprised, astonished by Shanes question, Tina opened her eyes. Noticing the look in Shanes eyes, knowing how hard and rare it was for her to talk about love, Tina closed them again.

“I dont know…” she mumbled, unsure of what to say.

Nodding, Shane started washing her hair.

“I…I guess you just know…you feel it…” Tina whispered, feeling her heart tightening.

“But, how?” Shane ventured to ask.

Opening her eyes again, Tina locked her eyes with Shanes. Sitting still, watching Shanes image on the mirror, Tina said.

“I dont know… you just know it…I just knew it…I woke up one morning and it was there…you feel it…I dont know..it wasnt just in my head..wasnt a concept…I could feel it in my body, I could sense it…I wanted to be with her, needed to have her close, to listen to her, to touch, to hear her laugh…”

Drying Tinas hair, noticing how she was drifting away?Shane nodded, leaving her time and some space.

“Are you going to Bettes tonight?” Tina suddenly asked a few minutes later with her eyes still closed as if pretending, trying to sound nonchalantly.

“Sure…its great news, besides, will be fun…she doesnt know…”

“She doesnt know?” asked Tina opening her eyes.

“Nah…she doesnt know we know about Lee Simone” noticing the look on Tinas eyes, Shane added, “… she doesnt talk or care about work that much any more…”

“But Lee Simone is huge!” Tina said, surprised.

“I know!…Even I know who she is”

Smiling, nodding, Tina sighed.

“Ok, what are you in the mood for?” Shane asked playing with Tinas hair.

With a mischievous smile, Tina whispered,

“You dont wanna know…”

Smiling, feeling her muscles relaxing, loving the teasing smile, Shane said,

“Oh…dont tempt me”

Chuckling, loving seeing Shane smiling, Tina nodded,

“God, these hormones! You couldnt believe what is like…” watching Shanes eyebrow touching the ceiling, Tina added, chuckling,”….ok…maybe you could…”

Playing with the hair, Shane said,

“Lets see if you like this”

Nodding, Tina closed her eyes again.


***

(a few hours later)

Feeling the night breeze caressing her face, Tina replayed the night events. After Shane left she was feeling much better. She was looking good and the outfit was making her look even better. She met Helena at the Disney Hall and since the moment they entered Tina felt like she didnt belong there. It wasnt just that the event was different from what she expected. Everybody, well maybe not everybody but most of the people attending were rich, and they didnt hide it. That wasnt a problem for Tina but all the people she met were pretty dull and boring. Some didnt even know what they were celebrating . Helena abandoned Tina the moment she was asked to play the host. She knew everybody there and didnt care that Tina didnt.

Wandering around, Tina thought about Bettes surprised party. She was happy for her, she knew how important the artist was but thinking about it she felt a bit jealous. It was silly to be jealous but she was. She didnt like that her friends were celebrating Bettes success without her. Driving home she realized that it wasnt exactly like that. Alice told her about the plan, wasnt leaving her out, she invited her to join them. But she was busy, with Helena. Tina didnt know why was it bothering her so much not to be there, celebrating Bettes success.
Looking at the people, not seeing anyone who could interest her, feeling tired, lonely and bored, Tina decided to leave. She tried to tell Helena but she was too busy talking with everybody but Tina.

Suddenly, not knowing how, Tina realized that she was stopping the car just in front of Bettes house. Turning the engine off, she sighed. She didnt, couldnt understand what she was doing there. She wasnt even sure she really wanted to go inside but then she heard the laughs and the music.
Without thinking about it she walked out of the car. Knocking on the door she waited for somebody to open but when nobody did. Hearing the laughs and the loud music she entered.

The house, lighted with candles looked warm and festive. Walking slowly, her pace timid, shy, she tried to see who was at the gathering.
Stopping at the kitchen, she leaned on the fridge. They were seated in circle, some on the floor, others on chase lounges. They were laughing and drinking. Unaware of what she was doing Tina leaned back, hoping not to be seen.

She felt the need to watch her friends, to see them from the outside. It was strange, as if watching a movie, as if being invisible. It was obvious from what they were saying that they were playing Truth or Dare. It was Bettes turn and everybody was teasing her. Apparently she was not very good at it and because of it she had been drinking Tequila shots all night as a punishment. Bette chose Truth which surprised her audience who clapping and whistling encouraged her. It was Danas turn to ask, so looking at Bette she said,

“When were you the happiest?”

Dana, Bette and Jenny were all seated looking at the pool so Tina was unable to see their faces. Shane, Alice and Carmen seated in front of them were so lost in their own business and alcohol and didnt see Tinas fugure.

Suddenly, as if Danas question cleared everybodys head, they all look at Bette, waiting. Sighing, shrugging, letting the memories relax her shoulders, Bette said,

“May twelve, 1997″

Everybody remain quiet till Dana said, screaming,

“Thats Shanes birthday!”

Nodding, Bette smiled. Tina knew she was smiling by how her body moved. The shape of her shoulders changed, she wasnt in charge, alert, she was relaxed.

For a second, Tina doubt, had to think about the date, What was it? but then, it hit her. She knew it, she needed a few minutes but she realized what Bette was talking about.

“What happen then?” asked Dana, trying to know what Bette was talking about.

“One question, remember?…you loose, drink” Bette said, amused, offering Dana the bottle of tequila. Smiling, showing Alice her tongue, teasing her, Dana nodded. But then, smiling at Dana, Alice screamed,

“Tee!!, you came!?

Nodding, trying to act nonchalant, feeling the surprised look on her friends faces, Tina walked outside. Bette, standing up, faced her.

“Hi” she said, unable to hide the surprise and joy that she was feeling by Tinas visit.

“I hope you dont mind…I wanted to congratulate you” Tina said, feeling expose as everybody was looking at her.

“Of course, not!, thanks!…what you want to drink?” Bette asked, leading Tina inside.

Following Bette to the kitchen, Tina sighed, unaware of her senses tensing.

The night went on, everybody was relaxed, they were joking, telling old stories, teasing each other. At one point, Bette walked inside. Tina, noticing it was taking her a long time, followed her.

Bette, in the kitchen, was clumsily preparing snacks. Noticing Tina at her side, she said,

“Everybody is so drunk…I thought they might want some…”

Smiling, Tina nodded. It was something new to see Bette playing the hostess, it was endearing even when Tina didnt realized it.

“You are pretty drunk, yourself…” Tina whispered, smiling.

Looking up from the chips, locking her eyes with Tinas, Bette said.

“Yeah…am not very good at that game…” The words came out slowly, each letter carrying a hidden story, a never shared secret.

“Youd have chose Truth” Tina said, stopping herself at the last minute from caressing Bettes bare arm.

“No…I couldnt…” Bette whispered, closing her eyes, unaware of how much Tina knew about her answers.

Feeling her head spinning, she sighed, leaning on the fridge.

“You ok?…how much have you drank?” Tina asked, concerned.

“Am ok” Bette whispered, opening her eyes.

Feeling Tina so close, her perfume caressing all her senses, Bette heard herself saying,

“Am drunk…am because am drunk…am going to say this…I…”

Feeling her heart tightening, Tina looked at Bette.

“.I.. I am very happy you came here tonight….”

Nodding, Tina sighed taking Bettes hand in hers.

“Why dont you lay down for a minute? She whispered, leading Bette to their old bedroom.

“Oook” Bette mumbled, unable to stop the need for Tinas contact. Getting lost in her presence, in how tenderly she was talking with her, Bette let Tina walked her to bed.

Sitting Bette on the bed, Tina removed her shoes and carefully, helped her lay down. With her eyes closed, Bette looked as peaceful as ever. Tina, watching Bette there, sighed again. Being in that room wasnt still easy.

Looking around, she noticed how different the room looked. It wasnt just that it looked bigger but she also noticed all the new framed pictures resting around. There were pictures of the two of them together but mostly there were pictures of Tina. Old ones from when they started dating. Surprised, Tina took one, trying to remember when it was taken.

“Uhhh” Bette said.

Opening her eyes, she sat on the bed. Surprised, Tina moved closer just in time to help Bette walk to the bathroom. Holding Bettes head, Tina caress her back while Bette emptied her stomach. Smiling, unable to stop thinking about the irony of seeing the always perfect Bette in a situation like that, Tina whispered,

“Is ok Bette…is going to be ok…”

Helping Bette sit on the toilet, wetting a small towel, she added,

“Here…now you will feel better…”

Nodding, a bit embarrass, Bette mumbled,

“Thank you”

Nodding, Tina took Bettes hand again. Walking back to the bedroom, Tina saw Alice waiting for them in the hall. Nodding, Tina told her it was ok, she was in charge. Smiling, Alice walked back to the party.

Laying Bette on the bed, Tina caressed her forehead, removing the hair from her face. Seeing Bette past out, Tina started undressing her. It came naturally, she didnt even think about it. Removing her pants, she noticed how thin Bette was. Her legs, her hips? Feeling a rush run through her body, Tina shook her head trying not to look too much, not to pay attention. Taking a tank top from the drawers, Tina doubted for a minute. Suddenly, she felt shy, she didnt want to undress Bette anymore. It was too personal. But realizing it was a stupid thing to think, she removed the blouse, putting the tank top instead.

Sighing, feeling suddenly very tired, Tina sat on the bed. Seeing Bette peacefully sleeping at her side, she looked around. She could hear the music and her friends laughing outsisde but the bed looked so big, so tempting that Tina decided to lie down for a couple of minutes.
But the moment her head touch the pillow her eyes closed and she feel asleep.