Shane walked down the street with big steps. She was wearing jeans, a white shirt and a red tie. She walked in her usual self-confident way, like she ruled the world, and nothing else mattered. But something was different. For once she didnt even notice all the girls that looked after her; she didnt see the way they looked after her. She had only one thing in mind; she needed to see her mother. Shane never spoke about her mother, in fact, Shane never spoke about anyone in her family at all. No one of her friends knew much about her family, only that Shane didnt get along with them and refused to talk to them. Shane was angry, she didnt want to do what she was about to do, but she felt like she had to. After all, she was going to see the woman who had brought her into the world. Shane was corrupted in her own thoughts, thoughts she didnt really want to think. Memories she tried to suppress came to life again. She remembered a Christmas when she was seven years old. Her mom had promised her to keep clean. But the night ended at the hospital after her mom had taken an overdose. Shane remembered sitting in a chair in her night gown and her teddy bear teddy. Her dad wasnt around, he was probably out cold for the night in an alley somewhere. Of course Shane didnt know that then, but she began to understand later. When she was younger she had tried to fit in, to be normal, now all she wanted was to be who she was, as un-normal as that might be. Shane was a little startled when her phone rang, but she picked it up without stop walking. Um, hello? Hi baby. It was Laras voice in the other end Hi. Shane answered shortly. Where are you? Lara sounded worried. Im um out. Theres something I have to do. Okay. Um, when are you coming home? Ive got that surprise I wrote about here. Lara smiled as she talked. Shed been waiting all day for this. Im sorry, Lara, but Ill probably not be home until late tonight or early tomorrow. Shane was truly sorry. Where are you Shane? What are you up to? Lara was getting worried. Shane thought for a while. She didnt want to tell Lara what she was up to. Not now, when she was already on her way. Im Im safe. But I cant tell you more. Look, I love you Lara, and I promise Im not u to anything bad. Just trust me, ok? Ill talk to you soon. Bye. Shane hung up. She knew she hurt Lara by doing this, but she had to. She had to go see her mom. Shane got to her truck. She got in it, turned it on and drove away. She got up on the highway and turned the radio on. I dont wanna live like my mother, I dont wanna let fear rule my life. Great timing. Shane murmured as she turned right, away from the highway. And I dont wanna live like my father, I dont wanna give up before I die. She laid mile after mile behind her, fully concentrated on her mission. 2 hours later she turned into a parking place. She shut off the engine and breathed heavily. She had to do this. She turned off the radio and exited the car. She walked through a gate and started the search for her mother. She had wondered around for over an hour when she found what she was looking for. She bent down and removed some grass before she read the inscription on the gravestone; Sarah McCutcheon. Born 3/6 – 1958 Dead 4/3 – 2003 That was it. No message like on the other gravestones, just a date of birth and a date of her death. She had been dead for two years now, and Shane didnt even know. She sat down in the grass with tears streaming down her face. She hit the ground hard with her fists. How could you? How could you god?!! She screamed. Shane sat there all night long. She didnt even care that she was in a graveyard. She just sat there by her mothers grave, crying. I love you mom. I love you. She repeated quietly. Even though Shanes mother hadnt been the best mother in the world, she had been the only mother Shane had. And Shane had loved her, through all lies and betrays. Shane sat there the next day also. She completely ignored her cellphone when it rang, even though she knew it was Lara. When the night came she slowly rose and with a last look and I always did love you mom. She left the grave and got to her car. She dialled Laras number. Hello? Lara answered after the first tune. Hi, its me. Where are you? Lara sounded worried. Im um Im Shane started to cry. Im at my moms. Where is that Shane? Ill come and get you! Im all alone. Im all alone. Shane said. Ill be home soon. And with that she hung up. She dried her eyes and started the drive home. She turned on the radio We are the people that you hate, we are the ***** that you created. She turned up the volume. And what did you expect, a perfect child? She cried hard as she drove through the night. Abandoned every mile, we never get respect, never a fair trial, no one gives a *****, as long as we smile. The song brought Shanes feelings in words and all she could do was cry. She got to Laras place a couple of hours later. She knocked at the door and Lara opened it immediately. Shane just stood outside the door. She was dirty and had been crying. Lara looked at her before taking her in her arms. Shane leaned her head towards Laras shoulder and let it all go. She cried hard in Laras embrace. Lara held her hard and rocked her. She helped Shane into the apartment and closed the door. She helped Shane to get showered and changed. Lara didnt ask any questions, she figured that Shane would tell her when she was ready to talk. They sat in the couch, Lara rocked Shane to sleep and stayed up watching her girlfriend sleep all night.