Tina hung up the phone. It was all such a mess. There was Bette. And there was Helena.

Helena had just called, and asked that she come to dinner. Tina was a bit surprised about this given their encounter of the prior evening.

Bette, on the other hand, hadn’t called at all. Tina wasn’t at all surprised by this, either. She would have been far more surprised if she had heard from Bette, given the awkward way that they had left things yesterday.

Yesterday.

What, exactly, was yesterday?

After a night of not being able to sleep, followed by a morning of frustration, Tina really wasn’t sure what she wanted from anyone.

Except *****. The way she was feeling, she knew she wanted to have *****.

But that’s where it all fell apart. She and Helena could have had ***** last night. But Tina was so wound up from her time with Bette, and wanted so badly to continue that experience. Which was impossible because as competent a lover as Helena was, she could not be Bette.

Bette. Tina knew that her afternoon with Bette Porter could be referred to as many things, ***** was not the first term she would use. No, she had to admit; they had made love.

They had made love for hours, and it was beyond wonderful. After the initial shock of the encounter wore off, Tina found words to express her feeling that didn’t start with the letter “f” and sometimes had greater than four letters. She knew also that she had to begin being honest to herself about the things she had felt for Bette while they were together.

Trying to transfer those feelings to Helena hadn’t worked. At least, not as eager as Tina was the prior night to push things, to see if Helena really did have any boundaries.

Helena did, but they seemed to be inverse boundaries. Things that were normal and staid for most people appeared to be perverse and pedestrian to Helena.

None of this really answered the question for Tina, then, why she had agreed to see Helena. Why she hadn’t contacted Bette?

Tina was well aware of the reason. Two reasons, really. First, despite what anyone else might say, Helena was most always sweet. When they were together, Helena was able and willing to really be there for Tina. Not just as support, but as a more equal partner.

Except in the bedroom. There, it seemed, Helena was unable to let Tina be anything that Helena didn’t allow. And while the attention was flattering, at some points even necessary due to Tina’s increased desire, and the time spent together had been very satisfying on a physical level, the connections beyond that were lacking.

Which, of course, to really understand, meant reinvoking the name of one Bette Porter. Speaking of connection, it was the one thing that appeared to survive in their relationship. The connection was possibly even stronger than ever. It was a reason that Tina knew from the start of their separation that it would be dangerous to be alone with Bette. No matter what else she felt about Bette, that underlying physical need and desire never waned.

But it wasn’t just physical. If it was, that would make all of this so much easier. With Bette, the connection existed on so many levels, not just the physical. The physical component might currently be the strongest, but Tina knew without a doubt that their connections on other levels, emotion levels, were battered, but still present.

The doorbell rousted Tina from her musings. “Coming,” she announced, feeling slightly anxious.

She had just hung up with Helena, and she hadn’t sounded like she was on a car phone. So that was unlikely. Tina felt a small rise in excitement as she thought that it might possibly be Bette. But given how they had left things, Tina knew she hadn’t offered Bette any encouragement to visit without advance warning.

Still, she cautiously opened the door, and found

(tbc)