Her life fell apart when Tina walked out the door. Sitting there with her back against the wall, among the rubble that was her life, her eyes skimmed over the broken glass, torn dress and rumpled bed. Mere objects keeping vigil with her over her living nightmare. Tears streamed down her face as her head lay down on her knees unable to summon the effort to look up.
How long she stayed there she would not be able to tell you as she was only cognisant of the ever growing pain in her heart and soul.


So it was unsurprising that Bette was startled when the phone rang, dismissing the noise as she refocused her teary eyes on her room, but her surprise deepened when she heard Alices voice echo through the dark and empty house.
Bette, I know that your there or at least you had better be cos I want to know why your wife of 7 years is currently lying on my bed crying her heart out and has been for the last 3 hours. Dammit, Tina hasnt stopped crying since I opened the door and found her and your name is linked to someone elses on the goddamned board, what the ***** is wrong with you?
3 hours the words reverberated through Bettes head, it had only been 3 hours since Tina left and she already felt like it had been years. Staying where she was Bette didnt even try moving as Alices words hit her heart. Tina crying3 hours 7 years the guilt and shame rained down on an already bruised and battered soul unrelenting in their onslaught.


The sun rose and greeted the sky with a dazzling brilliance but to Bette the only thing that existed was the darkness that still permeated through the room despite the light that touched the walls. Moving only when nature screamed Bette had to steel herself from screaming as she meet her reflection and a burst of anger rushed through her.
She wanted to smash her reflection and the mirror was to lay broken shattered into a million pieces like her life was. Before she could stop herself a crack sounded through the room and her hand that was still clenched bled.


Looking at the pieces her thoughts were disrupted by her ringing phone.
Hey Bette! Im just calling to remind you that the meetings you wanted have been scheduled and that you have a noon appointment today with Peggy Peabody who wanted to see you ASAP after last night. See you soon
James voice wafted to Bettes ears, her head was pounding as she just thought of leaving the house and her mind just couldnt focus on anything at the moment. Climbing into the shower Bette began scrubbing her self raw as if to wash away her feelings but stopped when pain radiated from her hand. Finishing, she quickly donned some sweats before moving out to the kitchen where she cleaned and wrapped up her hand. The menial task seemed to ground Bette as she started the coffee maker.


Looking out the window her gaze settled on the pool outside. She watched as the water surface flickered in deference to the slight breeze that blew. Her gaze moved inwards to the clock and she was surprised to see that it was already 11 oclock.
Rushing, she changed and called James to see where the meeting was and quickly memorised the address before glancing in the mirror.
Her movements froze as she saw a perfect reflection, there she was Bette Porter dressed immaculately and looked calm, cool, collected and in control. What a transformation and lie from where she was emotionally and at that moment, Bette felt her resentment rise as her work persona mocked her.


Meeting Peggy for lunch, Bette was surprised as she was introduced to her daughter, Helena Peabody who was going to be taking over Peggys position. Bette felt numb and words passed her but she was able to get through lunch and even scheduled another meeting. Trudging into work Bette was relieved to see the pile of work that was already waiting for her. Losing herself in her work, Bette forgot about James departure until she needed him to help. Receiving no response to her call, Bette looked around her office only to see the time and that she had missed dinner.
It was already 9:00pm and she finally felt the stiffness in her shoulders and neck. Moving around a little, Bette picked up the phone to call Tina only to remember that Tee wouldnt be at home and certainly wouldnt welcome a call. Sighing, Bette leaned back in her chair and tried to shut out the thoughts that wouldnt leave her alone.

Images of her time with Candace flashed through her mind like movie reel and she felt sick. Nausea and bile rose in her throat and she had to run to the bathroom to throw up in the toilet. Sitting on the clammy ground, Bette wanted desperately to stop everything and just turn back time to before she meet Candace and stop everything from happening. Her ringing cell phone pulled her from her thoughts and she washed her face before going home. The answering machine was blinking as Bette entered the house.


Going straight to the cabinet and retrieving a bottle of wine Bette just sat down and drank, glass after glass disappeared and before long Bette was slumped over the table passed out.
Getting up in the morning was hard but it was having to change and go to work, having to pretend that she was fine was harder. So every night it was the same thing, get home, drink, try not to think and sleep. Then get up in the morning and go to work, this routine worked well until James began to ask questions, little ones that shouldnt matter but they bugged Bette nonetheless. Snapping at him and telling him tho leave her alone, Bette just worked and worked.


A week passed and days more before Kit barged into her office. Bette looked up at the disruption but then continued to work effectively dismissing Kit. But she felt Kits eyes looking at her and scrutinising her, the clock ticked, minutes passed before Bette looked up again and she sighed.
Running her fingers through her hair and leaning back in her chair she asked
Okay Kit youre here, which means you know or at least heard what happened. So what do you want?
Kit looked at her younger sister surprised at the gaunt features that faced her and at the even tone Bette expressed.
I want to know how your doing? Kit said with concern colouring her face.
Im fine. Bette replied
Fine, you dont look fine Bet, in fact you look like *****, Ive called you for the past few days and you havent answered, I dont know what is happening to you. But I know what happened and I want to help you. Kit intoned earnestly.
Help??? Bette looked at Kit incredulously Kit, I cheated on my wife of 7 years and my world has fallen apart, what exactly do you think you could help me with?
Looking at Bette very seriously, Kit said
I can help you but reminding you to eat more often and getting you to go out. At least I want to try, what are you doing now Bette? Your hiding behind your work and you cant continue like this.
Bette felt defeated, she didnt want to fight with Kit and she felt so tired. Kit moved towards Bette and hugged her.
Lets get some food and we can just sit and do nothing ok?


Nodding, Bette felt weary, she just didnt care. Steering Bette towards her car she withheld a gasp at the sight of Bettes thin body. She seemed so fragile as if a breeze would blow her away. The food was nice and Bette ate little but with Kit’s gentle insistence Bette managed to finish about half before Kit let up.
It was upon returning to the CAC with a promise to meet Kit at the house at 7pm that Bette was greeted with the site of a blooming bouquet of flowers which bared a card.


It is at our darkest hours and lowest times that we can be safe in the knowledge that all can only be better. It is at this time that hope fills the emptiness and lets us dream of a future.



tbc…