Tina woke up that afternoon to find she was alone in their bed. A sheet of paper folded in half rested on Bettes pillow. Tina picked it up and read.

T,

I need to get out and clear my head. Im going to the Getty. If you want to join me, you know where Ill be.

Love
Bette

Tina made her way to the Getty Center as quickly as possible. She knew exactly where to find her partner. Bette had brought her here early on in their relationship. While shed driven past the museum numerous times shed never bothered to visit it before Bette took her one sun drenched Sunday afternoon. Bette had been so patient as theyd wandered through the different galleries. Sharing with Tina what she knew about various pieces.

Tina exited the train and hurriedly made her way to the West gallery sure that was where Bette would be.

There were a handful of other visitors milling around, the small room, taking in the works that adorned every wall. Bette sat on a black leather bench with her back to the entrance. Her gaze was locked on the painting directly in front of her.

Tina thought back to the first time she had stood in front of this picture. Bette had stood behind her, the tall brunette rested her hands lightly on Tinas hips.

Do you know who this is?

Monet Tina replied instantly recognizing the style.

Yeah Bette answered This is one of my favorite paintings in all of Los Angeles

But this isnt really your thing is it? Tina turned her head to look at Bette Its not exactly modern art

Shhh, dont tell anyone OK? Bette smiled widely as she whispered into Tinas ear before she quickly kissed her girlfriends inviting neck Monet once said that everything changes, even stone. Hes right, you can see how hes captured the way the sunlight illuminates the cathedral. At a different time of day the colors would be totally different. Bette explained and Tina nodded slowly, her gaze fixed on the painting.

This is one of my special places Bette made the confession without thinking. Though theyd been seeing each other for barely six weeks she wanted to share everything with this woman.

How do you mean?

Sometimes this city gets to me. I start to feel claustrophobic, like I cant breathe Bette elaborated.

Tina nodded.

When I get that way I retreat

Here

Sometimes Bette continued I can sit in here and immerse myself in this painting for hours. I come here to think

Bettes words of years ago echoed in Tinas mind as she sat beside her lover. Tina couldnt recall the last time Bette had needed to visit this place.

Is it working? Tina asked quietly, as her eyes rested on the painting. Bette turned to her but said nothing. Are you finding your answers?

Bette dropped her gaze and sighed heavily. Her brow creased as she contemplated her response.

She felt sick at the thought of what she was about to do. She watched as Tina turned to look at her. Bette saw her own pain and fear mirrored in her wifes eyes.

Walk with me? Bette whispered, taking Tinas hand in hers. She led them down a spiral staircase and out into the gardens. They walked in silence along a dirt pathway which was strewn with fallen leaves from the trees which hung overhead.

Tina pulled Bette to a halt Whatever it is just say it, Bette She urged Im going out of my mind here

Bette turned to face Tina. She reached out and played with a lock of Tinas honey blond hair as she gathered her thoughts.

I cant go on second guessing what you want, wondering if youre totally committed Bette said. She kept her eyes on the lock of Tinas hair, unable to look her partner in the eye This quasi committed state that were living in is going to be the death of us

Tina swallowed hard, her throat suddenly dry.

I want to wake up every day and know that we are both totally committed to this relationship Bette continued I love you and I want to make a fresh commitment to love and honor you for the rest of my life

Bette dropped her fingers from Tinas hair and looked directly at her partner.

If you dont believe in me or in yourself enough to make that same commitment then maybe were just fooling ourselves Bettes voice trailed off as she struggled with what was coming next. Tears fell and marked her face, the depth of her pain evident.

Babe Tina whispered as she lifted a hand to wipe away a tear from her lovers face. Bette caught Tinas hand with her own and lowered it, shaking her head. Tina was clearly taken aback at her blatant rejection of comfort.

Its all or nothing, T. I wont turn what we share into a half truth. There cant be shades of gray. If you love me then love me completely or dont love me at all

The words now said there was only one thing left to do. She slipped her commitment ring from her finger. Taking Tinas hand she placed it in her lovers palm and watched as it was enclosed in trembling fingers. Looking up she saw the tears fall, certain they were the result of her actions.

Bette knew it was a gamble to push her lover. There was every chance that Tina would run from her, if not physically then emotionally. She had to trust that her partner loved her enough to take that step, anything else simply wasnt enough.

Knowing her wife like she did, Bette didnt expect Tina to make a quick decision. She would need to process her feelings and draw her conclusions. While Bette ran on instinct she understood that Tina relied on logic to guide her choices and that took time.

Bette reached out and ran her thumb over the curve of Tinas cheek, her eyes carefully drinking in the sight of her wife, sure that the pain was necessary for them to move beyond this purgatory. Lowering her hand she turned and walked away.

Tina stood there frozen, her mind numb as she watched the distance grow between them. Was Bette really willing to end it? She pressed the ring firmly into her palm. She felt the metal band dig into her hand. Releasing her fingers she saw it, the same perfect circle but this time it was Bettes ring that marked her skin. Her mind traveled back to the first day shed returned home after the affair. The day shed found her own ring on Bettes bedside table.

Perfect but momentary She whispered. She shook her head, it wasnt true, it wasnt them.

Bette! She called. Tina held her breath as Bette stopped and turned to face her.

Tina followed the same path Bette had taken, closing the gap. As she drew near to her lover she stopped.

Yes Tina whispered before raising her hand to the back of Bettes neck and kissing her lover gently.

Yes, what? Bette asked as her heart hammered in her chest.

Yes, I want it, yes I want you, yes I love you Tina replied before kissing Bette again.

You havent had time to think Bette said as she pulled back from their kiss.

I dont need time Tina stated, as her eyes filled with tears.

But how can you be sure? Bette asked, a little unnerved at her wifes snap decision.

Ive never been so sure of anything in my entire life Tina smiled through her tears Please, trust me on this. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to wear your ring. I want you

OK Bette replied in quiet acceptance.

Remember when I was staying at Alices. One day you came home and I was in the bedroom, reading those old letters?

Bette nodded a little confused with where Tina was going with this. That day hadnt gone terribly well as Bette recalled.

I found my ring that day. I wore it and I thought about us. I thought that maybe what we had was prefect but it was momentary. But Baby, thats not us. What we have isnt perfect but its real and its lasting. I see that now

Bette blinked and stared, she didnt completely understand but she knew that it didnt matter. Whatever took place was profound for Tina. If it told her what she needed to know then that was enough for Bette.

Will you spend the rest of your life with me? Bette asked solemnly, wanting to be sure.

Yes Tina affirmed.

Upon hearing Tinas simple reply Bettes lips found Tinas in a kiss that conveyed the depths of love she had for this woman alone.

TBC