Previously…

“I was such an *****,” she said, looking into my eyes.

“You were,” I agreed with a smile, lightening the mood. “But it’s in the past. All of that is in the past, Bette. We were both wrong, and we both hurt each other. But if we dwell on that, we’ll never be able to move forward. And that’s what I want, baby. The past is the past, but you… you, Bette, are my future. We have to be able to forgive ourselves, to forgive each other, so we can focus on the things that are really important.”

“You are so amazing,” Bette said, her eyes reflecting the love in her heart. “I never knew how strong you were, Tina. I think that was part of our problem, part of my problem. I felt like I had to be the strong one for you, but you have always been strong on your own. You have this beautiful spirit that is so real, so true, so unlike anyone I have ever known, and I feel like a better person just for knowing you.”

We kissed softly, holding each other as close as we could without hurting Bette’s broken ribs. As I ran my fingers through her hair, her head on my chest and her hand in mine, I finally felt whole again. I had the other piece of my soul back, and I wasn’t ever going to let her go again.

* * * * * * * * * *

I lay there in the hospital bed, holding my entire world in my arms and feeling an overwhelming aura of peace and contentment. Nothing could ruin this moment, but I knew of one thing that could make it better. Slowly and gently, I leaned down to Bette’s ear.

“I love you,” I whispered to her.

“I love you, T,” she whispered back, her eyes closed and a smile on her face.

At that moment, I wished I could crawl into Bette’s skin to be that much closer to her and feel her entirely. I wanted so desperately to close the small space that separated us, but I knew that the distance was necessary for Bette’s sore and battered body.

“I’ve been thinking,” I began, choosing my words carefully before I spoke.

“Yeah?” Bette asked as she turned to face me, a look of hope in her eyes.

“Yeah,” I continued. “I want to tell you something, Bette, and I don’t really know how to say it so bear with me here.”

I locked eyes with her, waiting for a response. She swallowed hard, as if the news I was about to deliver would somehow break her even more, and she nodded slightly to urge me on. I took a deep breath and found the courage to continue.

“Right before Alice called me and told me about the accident,” I started slowly, “I was having all these thoughts about you, about us, and I couldn’t really sort through what I was feeling. I missed you, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself because I’d spent so much time being mad and hurt and broken. But then I heard that you were hurt, and all of that just melted away. The past, all of it just disappeared and the only thought on my mind was that I might be too late.”

I felt the emotions rise up into my throat and I struggled to push them back down and regain control. I didn’t want to start crying already, but I knew it was somewhat inevitable and allowed a tear to slip down my cheek. Taking another deep breath, I glanced at Bette and noticed the tears that had welled up in her eyes, too.

“I thought I would lose you,” I admitted softly, “and I would never have the chance to tell you how sorry I am, how much I love you, how much I miss you. I realized then what I had been trying so hard to forget about and move on from. I realized that I just don’t work without you. You are my entire world, Bette, and if I had lost you…”

I struggled to finish the sentence but my emotions took over and I broke down sobbing. I had tried so hard to be strong for the past twenty-four hours, to control my tears and to be the rock that Bette needed. But suddenly, as I voiced my fears of losing her out loud, I couldn’t stop it anymore. Bette brought a hand up to my face and gently wiped the tears from my cheeks. She turned her body, propping herself up on her side and pulling me to her tightly. Our bodies melted into each other’s and we lay there as one complete soul. There was no more space between us, no anger or fear or anything else except love. I buried my face in her neck and felt her own hot tears on my forehead. Suddenly, I felt her body shudder and wince with pain, and I pulled away from her quickly.

“Oh, Bette,” I said, trying to dull her pain but not knowing how. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s okay,” she replied, her face twisting as she tried to hide the pain from me. Once she had gotten it under control, she turned to me again and offered a feebly smile. “I wanted to do that for so long, Tina. To hold you that close, to feel you again. It hurt, but it was worth it.”

I felt my heart explode with unconditional love for this woman. She had ignored her own pain to absorb mine, as if making up for all the times she had failed to do so. All memory of the affair and the things that tore us apart six months ago disappeared forever, and I knew that my life was finally whole again.

“Don’t worry, T,” Bette said, stroking my cheek with her hand. “You’ll never lose me.”

“And you’ll never lose me again, either,” I vowed before kissing her lips. “There was one more thing I wanted to say, though.”

“Okay…” Bette relented, waiting patiently.

“I want to move back home,” I told her, the words tumbling out with excitement. “I’m going back to San Marino this afternoon to pack up my apartment and move back home with you, where I belong.”

“Oh, T…” Bette whispered, her face expressing the joy she was feeling while happy tears flowed down her cheeks.

I kissed her tears away and we both began giggling uncontrollably.

“We are such a bunch of saps, Bette,” I said amid the laughter.

“I know,” Bette agreed, chuckling heavily. “How did we get like this?”

“I have no idea,” I replied. “But we’d better cut it out quick. We don’t want the girls to think we’re, you know…”

“Boring,” we both said in sync.

I kissed her again, but we were interrupted by a knock at the door. I glanced up and saw Alice and Dana leaning against each other in the doorway. Dana’s arms were wrapped around Alice’s waist, and Alice’s lips were pressed against Dana’s forehead. I looked up at Bette, who was wide-eyed and slack-jawed in bewildered confusion.

“What… what…” Bette repeated, trying to take in the sight before her.

“I guess we’ve been inspired by you two,” Alice said with a shrug, giving Dana a kiss on the lips before walking over to Bette’s bed.

She sat on the foot of the bed and Dana stood behind her, allowing Alice to lean into her body as the strong tennis player wrapped her arms around her girlfriend.

“Wow,” Bette finally said, smiling.

“Well, congratulations, you two.”

“And to you two,” Dana said, nodding at me and Bette.

“As soon as you get up out of this hospital bed,” Alice broke in, “we’re all going out on a very weird, very dysfunctional, very in love double-date, K?”

“It’s a date,” I said in agreement, trying to contain my laughter.

(TBC…)