I knew I was gonna drink tonight. I had known for a week now but as if drinking was on my mind then. I mean, I knew that I was always gonna start up again. Of course none of us realised how soon that was gonna be. So tonight I was having more than my share. It was time I had a drink. I knew that. I just didnt realise how much. I also didnt realise how much I needed to be completely wasted. Due to that recent lack of alcoholic consumption, it turned out to be not much at all. I was definitely over confident, looking at the amount of drinks I was concocting on the kitchen counter. Maybe I shouldnt have jumped straight into the cocktails. Maybe I shouldve started on the light stuff. Shouldve drunk more water. Shouldnt have drunk at all.

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            The ceiling wasnt very exciting. Very white but not exciting. Her smooth light brown legs encased in stockings draped across the couch. An arm would creep along the upholstery to collapse in a comfortable spot. The other arm would lazily reach around to rest upon her head as she watched the ceiling float on by, above her. Her hair was greasy and slightly knotted, still she kept fiddling with it. A long brown strand would curl around her finger, pull tight and release itself. Then the process would start all over again on a new strand or a new finger but it remained constant. Lately, she couldnt retain the vigorous grooming routine which she usually undertook. Along with her hair, her nails began to look very ratty and undernourished. Bitten down to the quick, red and raw. The outfit she wore was the same one she had worn at work. Since yesterday. And God knows one cant live on Chinese takeout forever. Usually there would be some enjoyment from working all day but not lately. Her body was repeatedly screaming at her to stop working the late nights. But during times of hardship, the workaholic within her overcame any other personality trait. She was on auto pilot for most of the day, unallowed to cease for any reason other than complete physical breakdown. For the moment, it seemed that shed managed to ignore the little voice inside her head, which was telling her to get back to it. Maybe a few drinks tonight would shut it up completely.