Angelica had mixed feelings about Kirsten. She thought about these feelings while dabbing the canvas in front of her with yellow oil paint. She knew Bette was interested by
the faraway look in her eyes while they drove back home. She also knew of the terrible dilemma in her mommy’s head and apparently stomach (Bette puked when they finally drove in the
driveway) Later tha evening Bette could be seen sitting on the sofa with some wine and Tina’s picture in her lap, she looked at that picture forever. Bette appreciated that Angelica
left her alone. Angie knew when to leave someone to themself. It was something Bette and Angie shared, an feeling for when others just needed alone-time. So Angie had
spent the evening in her room, doodling in her sketching, thinking about Lee, thinking about Kirsten. She tried to make sense of what she felt. So a woman albeit an attractive one, has
a obviously a thing for mommy…and mommy likes her, at least in a superficial sense, come on they only talked once…an introduction. So what might come out of this? A romance? Angie
doubted it, maybe in a few months maybe, it will definetly be an emotional affair if it comes to anything. A friendship? probably….what Angie thought, what she really thought..was that
her mommy would go barrelling into this too fast, and then blow it when she realizes she went…too fast. then what? Then her mommy would refuse to see Kirsten again, either
forever or when she realizes she actually wants Kirsten. Of course Angelica is speculating. Of course she is. she’s speculating cuz thats what she does. She speculates about Lee
mostly. Fantasizes that they live together in a square yellow house with a cut green lawn a white picket fence some nice friends a brown dog and baby on the way, well maybe not
the baby. Angie was a little taken aback by the domesticity but for Lee she would make Betty ***** Crocker look like a beer-guzzling slob who likes to take a shite on the floor. She
didn’t understand the feelings, Lee was nothing special, but somehow Angie was so ***** turned on by her. And her boyfriend. Angie knew the type. Rich asian cocky boy
who thinks he has everything, drives a nice car he gets by dealin’ crack to unhappy middle-class white men who ***** their secretaries and tell their wives the boys went out on a business
drink. This is how Angie thinks. Take no prisoners. In her book the world was a ***** toilet.

 But she thinks back again to Kirsten. An attractive lady. Once Angie found out she was half Native she saw it in her face. the high cheekbones, a certain kind of
arrogance and pride in those eyes. That one had been around the block a few times. Angie scribbled out the picture she was drawing, she was useless with a pencil. Thinks about
Kirsten….her mommy deserved to be happy. If Kirsten, if that woman was serious, could make her mommy happy then more power to her. But if she just screwed with her mommy’s
heart….then Angelica would call up some of her friends that Bette didn’t know about and they would pay little Kirsten a visit. However Angie didn’t think so, she saw how Kirsten looked
at her mommy. Her mommy. Angelica loved Bette so much it hurt. Which led to thoughts about Tina. A sudden pain hit angelica right in the chest, were they forgetting about her? Were
they? was mommy forgetting about her?…………………….no……..no……..they were just trying to live, that’s what they were trying to do. Angelica mourned tina, her mom…mourned in a
way only a daughter could, whihc was silently. Supressed sorrow was unhealthy of course, so angie transferred it to her paintings. It was the least she could do. Angelica had in the
past year dealt with a lot. Attitude problems, running away, seeing a woman beaten probably to death, heroin, death of her mother. Jesus the drugs. Just thinking about it made
Angelica feel tingly, feel sick. the withdrawal was ***** but Angie made it through. She was a survivour. Did it make her smarter? Probably not, she was too young. Did it make her
tougher? ***** yeah, abso-*****-lutely.

 The phone rang, Angelica answered it….Kirsten. Two days after the ice cream, a few hours after Angie’s first day of school (which sucked by the way) Kirsten gives the house
a ring.   “Mommy!!!  Phone for you!”.   The world really was a ***** toilet.