She sat outside on the stairs and watched the sun go down behind the houses on the other side. As she heard a sound she looked behind herself and found Carmen standing next to her. “Hey, there you are,” she said smiling and sat down next to the woman she adored. “Are you okay with it?” “Okay, with what?” Shane asked with a voice so far away. “That I’ll stay in Jenny’s room ’til she comes back,” Carmen answered and asked herself if this really was a good idea. Last night with Shane was unbelievable, but she wanted to give Shane all the time she needed, she didn’t want to constrict her. “Oh yeah, sure it’s okay,” Shane said and looked at Carmen with tired eyes. Carmen softly touched Shanes cheek. “Are you okay, Shane?” she asked with concern in her voice. “I don’t know so much happened the last twenty four hours. Tina had her baby, Alice and Dana seemed to break up and I didn’t realize that Jenny had such serious problems. Now she is away, back with her family. And I just I just thought about myself I had seen this coming I could have prevented this and I could have helped Alice and Dana and Tina” “Stop that. Shane, stop.” Carmen interrupted Shane’s self-blaming. Shane looked away from Carmen and dropped her head between her knees. “God Shane no, you couldn’t have prevented this and I know you care a lot about her. Jenny just couldn’t handle her life anymore. She needs to deal with her past and you couldn’t have helped her with this. And you can’t help Alice, Dana or Tina. I know how much you love them, but you aren’t God Shane look at me,” Carmen said and got down in front of Shane to see her face. “Don’t blame yourself, it isn’t your fault. Nothing is your fault and you can’t prevent anything.” She saw Shane’s totally confused face and the tears which where shining in her eyes. “Come here,” Carmen said and held Shane in her arms. Shane let out a released sigh and buried her face in Carmen’s arms like she wanted to hide from everything. Carmen softly stroke Shanes hair and tried to comfort her. “Shhh…it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay. Jenny will be okay, Dana and Alice will work out their problems and Tina will be fine, too,” she tried to calm Shane down. It hurt her to see Shane like this but on the other hand she was so grateful that Shane let her hold her like this and comfort her. After a while Shane lifted her head and looked in Carmen’s eyes like only a child could: thankful for the comfort and love she got. “What about getting some sleep?” Carmen asked and caressed Shane’s face. Shane just nodded and stood up while Carmen took her hand and led her into Shane’s room. When Shane let herself down on the bed, she felt how exhausted she was. Carmen took off her shoes and pulled the blanket over Shane. She smiled down at Shane and kissed her forhead before leaving the room. She didn’t want to exploit Shane’s tiredness to stay with her. “Carmen” she heard as she reached the door and turned. “What’s up?” she asked and glanced back at her love. “Would you would you stay?” Shane stuttered. With a lovely smile Carmen went back to Shane’s bed and sat down. “I would love to,” she answered with a voice that made Shane feel even more comfortable. Carmen took of her jeans and shoes and climbed into the bed. Immediately Shane was searching for Carmens hand under the blanket and found it. Carmen could have cried for how Shane acted So faithful and full of love. Shane laid her head on Carmen’s chest and closed her eyes. “I know it isn’t really the right moment to ask you this but” Carmen whispered reserved, scary about the answer that might come, after a while. “But…what you told me last night that you love me…did you really mean it?” Silence. Carmen was getting nervous and pulled her arms away from Shane so that she could see her face. “You are so stupid,” Carmen said quietly to herself. Shane laid right there in her arms, peaceful and full of trust, she never could have gotten a better answer from Shane than this. Carmen just smiled lovely down at her love, just enjoying to be so close to Shane. She kissed Shane’s cheek a last time and thanked God for this gift before drifting into sleep. Shane moved a little and while she snuggled closer to Carmen she quietly mumbled “I love you”.