The resulting silence was deafening.  Stunningly so. 

Bette’s eyes shut forcefully.  Her body visibly convulsed.  This was it.  The moment.  Breaking the silence she responded.

“Someone is interested…” she began with a strangled voice. 

Panic subdued Tina.  Involuntarily, she took shuffled steps backwards as if compulsorily shoved until the wall pressed against her back halting further retreat.  It offered physical support, the lone force keeping her anxious and limp body upright. 

A moaning whimper was building momentum in anticipation of permitted release.  Disbelief, anger, confusion and fear melded ushering her into an overpowering numbness.  Amidst her paralyzed state, germinating within was the need to know.  Her howl of desolation held captive because of it, keeping her from unraveling hysterically in her rooted position.

‘Did she fall in love with someone else?‘

So instead of the angry torrent and pained grief that threatened to spill, Tina shifted her head slightly favoring her right ear to catch the softly uttered words that would come.  The confession after the reluctant, awkward moment revealed the information she wanted and needed to hear. 

“She kissed me.”  Bette’s eyes shut deliberately. Her brow creased deeply as if endeavoring to erase the memory.  Upon opening her eyes, the seated woman’s gaze found a hurt and bewildered one staring back.  One that deserved the truth. 

While Tina kept her breath, a desperate gasp escaped her partner. 

“I didn’t stop it,” she said.

The admission was torturous for both women.  Any salve for the pain inflicted by the wounding disclosure inaccessible. 

Agony was manifested on the face of woman who voiced the incident, mirrored in the one absorbing the revelation with incredulous disquiet.  One struggling to admit weakness contrary to principles held, the other with the betrayal that shook her to the core.

“Afterwards,” Bette pressed on, “I told her it couldn’t and wouldn’t happen again.” 

The sincerity in her voice allowed no room for doubt.  It had happened as described and her partner knew it.  Still, it didn’t dampen the hurt the confession caused.

Excruciatingly, more followed. “She’s not the reason.  Other people…she…that…isn’t the reason.”  

“*****.”  Tonight the concise utterance was laden with more meaning than the single word could seemingly ever provoke and encompass.

Slowly, Bette’s head found its way to rest on her hands.  They caressed protectively, providing comfort during the imposed suspension.  Considerable minutes passed and neither spoke.

Eventually, they reinstated visual contact when the brunette found the minute unspent resolve within to raise her head.   Nothing shielded Bette’s afflicted features unsteadily carried by the defeated slump of her shoulders. 

The view of inner desolation left unobstructed for the only witness to this crumbling.  Her audience tonight, the love of her life.  That fact…that certainty…heightening the ache all the more.

“We can’t…” her hand gestured convulsively as it motioned from the other woman to herself conveying the distance between them. 

She hesitated then continued dispiritedly, “I can’t do this.”  Divulging her helplessness, her inability to repair the situation.

“I’m not able to watch us disintegrate.”  The choking discharge went on although the ponderous effect of her conquered stance was almost too much to bear. 

Almost inaudibly she muttered, “I don’t have the strength to confront it.”

“Please.  I’m not saying we end.”  Her voice broke as she said the words.  “I hope…I don’t mean to leave forever but maybe we need time apart.” 

The avowal was clearly wrenched from this woman’s soul.  This collapse indicative of the profound depth of emotion harbored for the other.  Typically unwilling to concede.  Except when it came to her T.

The implication of the revelation unequivocal.  To arrive at this point of capitulation signified she’d reached beyond any point of tolerance.  Surrendered pretenses and shelved pride rendered only to and for the other woman before her.

In that moment, surrounded by fear and doubt, it was clear what Tina needed to do.  Unquestionably.  Unfalteringly. 

Complicated in its simplicity…reclaim her lover.