Alice picked up on the first ring. “Bette,” she said.

“Alice.”

“We’re watching Kathy Griffin. Can you call back?”

Bette heard Alice cackle off to the side and could so easily imagine the two of them, curled up on the couch in their pajamas, eating and laughing. “Bette?” Alice said again. “Call me back. It’s over in an hour.” Click.

Bette sat looking at her cell phone, the numbers in front of her flashing 12 seconds. Nice, Al. She redialed.

“Bette, call back!” Alice answered. “Seriously, we can’t miss this. You should have seen the part on Gwyneth and Stella McCartney. She did this imitation of Gwyneth where-”

Bette cut her off. “I’m not at home, Alice. I’m stuck overnight in Detroit. My flight was cancelled because of the storm.”

“What storm?” Alice asked. Bette heard Dana start giggling in the background and rolled her eyes. “In the Northeast and Midwest, Alice. God, I’m sorry if they didn’t report it on Entertainment Tonight.”

Dana’s giggling grew louder and Alice scoffed. “Whatever, Bette. For your information, we’ve been watching America‘s Top Model all day, ok? Anyway, don’t be a ***** just cuz you’re stuck in Detroit. No one told you to be professional art girl so you could fly places for your job and feel important. That’s on you.”

Bette laughed despite herself. “That much I’ll accept,” she said. “But if you could take a moment away from your reality TV? I need some quick advice.”

“Very quick, it’s a commercial. What’s up?” Alice clicked her tongue twice as if to encourage Bette to speak.

“Okay,” Bette said, exhaling, “It sucks not to be home, I’m in a typically bad mood, and the girl at the desk downstairs is blonde, very cute, and kinda saucy.”

“Saucy?” Alice said. “What’s that mean again? Extra hot?”

Bette scoffed this time. “Close enough. Yeah, she’s flirting with me I think. And I’m so ***** exhausted-”

“And soo ***** horny,” Alice interjected.

Bette sighed. “Something like that. Is it in the worst taste or what?”  

“You’re asking me?” Alice said in surprise. She turned to the side, “Bette wants to ***** the desk clerk at the hotel.” Bette heard Dana burst into laughter.