Carmen pretended to sleep while Shane moved about her business, only opening her eyes a few moments after she was certain she was alone. It was a luxury she cherished, waking up in Shane’s bed, and she would relish it as long as she could. It wasn’t something she had always been able to do.

Earlier on, Shane would insist on having some reason for Carmen to leave after they were through, whether it was work early in the morning or plans later in the evening.

However, the frequency of their entanglements became such that it was impossible for there not to be at least a few nights during the week when the tryst had to take place late at night, and Shane knew she was being an ***** the first time she sent Carmen on her way with less than a few hours before dawn. She apologized first thing the next day. Even at her worst, Shane was courteous, maddeningly courteous, which was nice, but it didn’t offer a solution. Then one night, after she methodically, persistently wore Carmen out until she simply couldn’t take anymore, she wrapped herself around the girl and slept without a word.

She made sure to get up before Carmen woke. That morning, and every one after it, she woke in Shane’s bed with an empty space next to her. She sighed. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, it felt cheap.

She didn’t want to admit it because it was such a stark contrast to almost every other part of being with Shane. Last night had been amazing. She felt as if she had won the prize of a lifetime, finally having broken through Shane’s metaphorical walls. For the first time in their relationship

Don’t use that word!

Theirtime together?

No, that’s even worse

Carmen sighed. She had told Shane she was fine with things the way they were, that they both had made their own choices, but it was beginning to wear down on her. She knew, and Shane knew, that there was something there that had the potential to be the real thing, the thing they were both searching for, the thing that would last the rest of their lives. But Shane kept her in limbo, and there she waited, trying her best to deal with the parts of life with Shane that hurt sometimes, weighing it against the hurt of not being with Shane at all.