Now it’s been like three months since I left L.A. my dad died three days a go,  I don’t know the reason, he was sick but I never asked about his illness didn’t really want to know, but he got to tell us he was sorry for treating was the way he did, he told Paris how very sorry he was for shooting at him when he was walking out of the house, and he apologized to me for for what he did, and told Monica to forgive him for making her life so miserable that she had to leave like that. We buried him this morning. I was as sad as I could be for a father that never in his life stayed sober for more that an hour, one that never ever cared about me or my brother, for the father that introduced us to drugs and alcohol, the one that used to beat the crap out of us whenever he felt like it, so as you can I imagine I was more relieved than sad, I know it sounds cruel ’cause he was my father, but he never acted like one, I never got to love him like that. Just like I will never love Monica as a mother, I’ve told her that, and she told me she wasn’t expecting me to, she says that she doesn’t love me like a daughter either, she didn’t came here for that, she just wanted to see us, and get to now us a little better, but she’s not here to make up for all the lost time, and I like the fact that she’s being honest, brutally honest, but nonetheless I know now that when she left she hated us, we were the ones that had made her lost big part of her childhood, I know that she doesn’t regret any of what she did (which I know makes her sound like a bitch, and I actually think she is, but now I know that you should never do anything you’re not happy with or the results can be very very painful), she also told me that she can’t love me as a mother, but she can be my friend, and she will be there for me whenever I need her, obviously after this she will never ever hear a word about me, but it was a nice  thing to say. Oh there’s something I want you to know too, guess what? I can walk!!! Amazing, huh? Well Paris and I have been working a lot on that, and I did it, I got my legs back, I mean I won’t be running or dancing anytime soon, but at least I can walk a little stiff but I can do it, I also found a job, I work at a pet store, it’s quite a nice place, and really fun, I love those animals, I work there nine to five, and I’ve been doing fine, clearing my head, I’m gonna be ready to go back to my family soon, besides my sister is about to get into this world, I’ve bought her a few things, every time I get paid I get something for her, small silly thing that I think she might like. Every time Bette and Tina write to me they send me the ultrasound pictures, she really big now. They also send me the news on the rest of the gang Alice and Dana are planning to move in together, Jenny and Carmen are closer than ever (wonder if Carmen is still fucking Shane) and at the end of every letter the write just in one line what’s up with Shane, the last letter said this: “She wants you to know that Jenny knows everything, it wasn’t what you think it was, you have to believe that (we don’t know what she is talking about she said it was very important that you knew this)” I don’t know what to think about this, but I guess I’ll have to deal with it once I go back.  Oh they also said that they’ve decided to have the wedding once the baby is born, Tina says that she wants to look nice on that day, and Bette says she wouldn’t dare to go against her will on this. And if I’m not mistaking the baby will get here anytime now, so I must hurry up on getting ready to face the situation back there. The one thing I won’t be happy to leave is my relationship with my brother, when we were little he was my only friend, we were each others strength and the day he left I was empty, now that we’re building that kind of relationship again I don’t want to give that up, I want him around again, and I also want to meet his kids, I’m an aunt, how cool is that! I have a three year old niece and a nephew, and I am about to have a baby sister, life just doesn’t get any better, well I know something that could make it better, but since it won’t ever happen, I’ll just leave it alone.