Labyrinth of Emotions – 02.09 – Inside Me

            Twilight named by Jo Wheaton because for a short time, she was sure that she was in that time of her life the twilight. The sun was setting on her life, at least that was what she’d thought had been happening, she couldn’t stand in the sun and bask in its heat, she couldn’t love the woman who’d captured her heart so effortlessly, so the day had crested for her. Until she’d beat the odds and come out on top with more than simple will power but with the love of her friends. She looked down now from her vantage point 4 stories up from the dance floor of the monstrous building that was her legacy. Her only legacy because Jo Wheaton was unable to bear children.  The music’s thumping beat were felt in the balls of her feet as the place filled up.

            Premiere night, season two of the ultra controversial TV series that she’d helped put together, funding it, getting the pilot shot on her dime and even penning part of the episode. Getting Violet the meeting with Showtime, then buckling and writing a few more shows, all of which were over the top funny. No one would have thought that Jo could do funny, but she did. Piss in your pants funny, yet no one knew that she was the one that had helped get this show off the ground, she liked it that way.

            She felt Amy behind her long elegant hands wrapping around her torso as Jo leaned her head back and turned, getting a peck on the cheek from the one woman that could light up her dark heart. Her eyes flashed with what Amy could only describe as sheer passion, she held onto Jo, nuzzling her nose into Jo’s shoulder.

            “You ok? You seem really out of it stewing on a new story? Novel? Movie?” Amy asked hopefully and Jo laughed ever so softly. If only it would be that simple, wouldn’t life be grand? Of course, their lives had never been easy and more than likely never would be.

            “Something like that, Emma got a bad feeling about tonight, not to happy about that.” Jo admitted wanting the night to be perfect, and Amy groaned softly in her ear. She kissed the tip of Jo’s ear, and Jo had to grin, loving the feel of those silky lips on her skin.

            “Is Venus in convergence with Mercury or something?” Amy giggled and Jo turned in her arms meeting the emerald eyes of her lover. She kissed the soft velvety lips, and Amy smiled eyes devouring her with one swift gaze.

            “Non, not that kinda feeling, the other kinda feeling….” Jo eluded and Amy groaned loudly, turning and walking away from Jo. She kicked the couch, and turned to face Jo, her head shaking, tussling the mane of blonde hair.

            “As you’d say NON! No more damn it Jo…  This dyke drama needs to stop!” Amy whined and Jo sighed, walking over to her and kissing her lovingly and sighed too. Cupping her beautiful face in her hands, resting her nose on Amy’s, staring into her eyes.

            “Destiny…..” Jo began and Amy finished the sentence that had plagued them all of their relationship.

            “Fights to right itself.”

******

            “OH my GOD!” Alice yelled into Dana’s ear as Lenore and Sharon began a steamy dance on the floor and Dana turned away, ordering a drink she needed a drink, she needed a keg filled with pure alcohol to down herself in. Her mother was making a skeptical of herself and Dana just couldn’t handle it. Her mother was getting on every nerve that Dana owned, and she’d had enough. Tomorrow she was calling her father to come and get the wayward Fairbanks, and that, was the end of that convoluted tale.

            “I don’t wanna look, I don’t wanna look, I’m not gonna look!” Dana yelled smiling at the dark bartender and the woman smiled back moving to get back to work. Dana watched her turn and she thought she had a very hot ass and she wondered what her name was.

            “KATEY!” Tina yelled from next to Dana, Dana jumped, Tina was waving to the bartender who was working diligently with Blu, it was an open bar and everyone was taking advantage. Katey moved over to her grinning from ear to ear at her boss. She tossed a hungry look at Alice, smiling and winking at the sexy blonde reporter. Alice leaned up against the bar, wiggling her nose and licking her lips. Katey, reluctantly, turned her attention to Tina.

            “Yeah, hey Tee. The place is jumping we are stocked and ready to roll into the wee hours of the morning light. We might need more champagne though, but I think Jo has a few cases hiding up in that birds eye view of hers.” Katey said and Tina nodded, looking up and wondering what was going on behind the green tinted privacy glass that served as Jo’s private office.

            “I just wanted to say thanks for coming in on short notice. I know you and your woman had plans…” Tina said, and Katey shrugged then winked at Tina. Tina tried to wink back, but it looked more like she was doing a bad impression of Bewitched instead of being sexy, it was cute.

            “Oh no problem, my girl was cool with it I dragged her along.” Katey pointed to her girlfriend at the end of the bar, El and Tina grinned then just past her she spotted Rosita walking in. She was wearing a tight black shirt and those hip hugging green pants. Damn she looked good in anything, and Tina thought she’d look good in nothing too.

            “Well thank again, if you guys need anything…” Tina offered and Katey motioned to Rosita, and said.

            “We’ll track you down boss.” Katey finished and went off to serve another few fans of the show. Some of the actors had taken up residence at the end of the bar, chatting away with fans, a few had already gone to Heaven with some adoring fans that wanted to show their appreciation.

            Rosita spotted Tina, smiling a bit and walking over to her, Tina sat on the stool, waiting and Rosita walked right into her hug. Tina brushed her lips against Ro’s cheek and Ro winked at her, then blowing the strand of hair out of her face. Tina thought that those strands were the sexiest thing she’d ever laid eyes on.

            “Hello bella the place is jammed.” Ro said her voice always that intense neutral and Tina wondered how she did that so effectively.

            “Tina.” Sam said appearing out of nowhere next to Tina and Tina introduced Rosita to the young doctor. Not remembering if they’d met or not, and Sam shook her hand and Ro smiled at her lightly. Sam glanced around.

            “So where is Jo? I have something I need to talk to her about, you seen her?” Sam asked, looking to the center of the dance floor and trying to see Jo’s private little getaway from there, but she failed. She was nervous and on edge, and had been all night. Why was that? Rosita could feel the edge drifting from Sam and she wondered what was making the pretty tomboy so jumpy.

            “She should be making an appearance soon. She is the host after all she said something about making everyone stand up in their seats. You know Jo.” Tina said, and Lara moved in next to Sam and Tina led them all to one of the huge booths in one of the corners that she’d reserved for them.

            They could see Carmen playing DJ from there and Kit was up with her picking out the smoother jazzier music while Carmen played the heart pumping dance music. What a combination it was making for, and the crowd was eating it up.

            Alice and Dana filtered over, and Blu brought them all drinks, not having bothered to ask what they drank. She had a photographic memory and remembered what they’d all previously drank on their other visits to the club. Shane came sauntering over, Marina in tow and Jenny not to far behind. Vanessa then showed up, and Tim sat down with all of the woman, obviously a bit uncomfortable.

            “Ladies.” He said taking the beer that appeared at his hand and Tina reached over and said in a very playful voice, struggling to get over the blaring music.

            “Tim, we promise not to bite.” The table laughed and Tim blushed and then Vanessa grabbed his hand and he instantly felt better.

            “Or try and convert you.” Sam said and Tim had to laugh at that quip. He smiled, and looked at Vanessa whom he knew had some sort of come back.

            “He’s already a lesbian he loves women, or rather one woman.” Vanessa put in and they all began to converse about the show. There were huge TV screens placed everywhere in the building, replaying key moments of the shows first season. The actors were already milling around the club, acting as if they owned the place. Slowly the spot light began to move to the middle of the dance floor, then up to the ceiling. It came to rest on the railing right outside of Jo’s office.

            “Oh looks like the host is about to make an appearance huh?” Tim said and Sam groaned, fucking dyke stunt she thought to herself. Sam watched with a careful eye. What was she trying to prove, that she was immortal?

            Everyone looked up and there was Jo perched on the railing just outside her office, balancing precariously on the edge, seeming quite comfortable on the railing. She stood her full height and she hung there. Her voice rang out through the club as Carmen turned the music down, letting just the bass rattle the floor as Jo began to speak.

            “Welcome to Twilight!” Jo said and the crowd went wild, the actors hooting, as Jo chuckled and Amy slowly made her way down the stairs, she was sure her girlfriend was crazy sometimes. She glanced up, seeing how sexy she was, her arms spread out to each side, blonde hair shimmering in the pale blue and yellow lights that were spotting her. She thought Jo was taking a chance with this stunt of hers, but leave it to her to showboat.

            “The season 2 premiere of Earthlings will start playing at the witching hour, midnight for all of those not inclined to Anne Rice, you have 3 hours to kill before the true fun begins, enjoy!” Jo said and Sam stood up, she knew she was about to pull a stunt, and Tim looked up at Sam. Her fists clenched on either side of her body, and Shane was sure she was about to bound out of her skin.

            “Oh she isn’t gonna….” Sam muttered softly and Jo grinned from ear to ear, jumping from the railing, one forward roll and to the floor she began to plummet, the crowd yelling at the top of their lungs and Sam shot from her seat, was she nuts? She vaulted over the back of the seat, landing solidly on her feet and running to where Jo was about to land, spattering like a dead bug against a windshield.

            The crowd on the dance floor parted like the red sea and the FBI agent landed on her feet, a hard thump could be heard, Jo’s knee buckled and she landed with one knee to the ground, she looked up with an evil grin spread on her face, the crowd cheering. Figuring out it was a stunt, Sam walked to her, facing her friend.

            “She has on a wire harness right?” Alice asked the table and they all shrugged, and watched as the crowd began to move around again, and they lost sight of Sam and Jo. Jo brushed off her pants as Sam glared at her like a mother scolding a child.

            “Have you lost what is left of that muddled brain of yours?!?” The music began, and a few people from the crowd came over, patting Jo on the back and Jo’s eyes flashed and Sam grabbed her behind the neck and said into her ear.  “Are you crazy?” Sam hauled her over to the table throwing her into a chair, Jo laughing as Shane asked the table obviously wanting to know.

            “How did you that?” Amy slid into Jo’s lap and looked the table over,

            “It’s a kind of magic.” Jo sang and Amy laughed, taking the drink from Katey and not saying another word, the loud music would drown her out anyway.  Sam staring hard at her as she took her place next to Lara, who kissed her gently.

            “The doctor was in the house I see?” Lara asked with a smile and Sam nodded, staring out into the crowd. What was she looking for in the crowd, Lara thought.

******

            Free. Good god she hadn’t felt this free in years, if ever. She felt the wind whipping through her hair and Alex pulled the bike up into fifth gear topping off at just over 90 miles per hour on the highway. No helmet, she let her arms loosen around the Detective and let go, spreading her arms and smiling against the wind.

            They turned off on an exit and Bette leaned against Alex, wondering where they were going, and it was soon evident that the woman had a plan. They pulled up into the back alley behind Twilight and Bette was nervous. Alex got off the bike and helped Bette off, and Bette smiled even though every nerve in her body was in fire.

            “Ready for this? You are going to see them all at once, but I don’t think they’ll ask too many questions, they’ll be happy to see you, just tell them you aren’t ready to talk about anything and you just want to have fun. Bette?” Alex asked and Bette was fidgety and she nodded, reaching out for Alex’s hand and Alex took it.

            “Let’s go before I lose my nerve.” Bette said, and she led the way to the club, Alex flashed her card and Bette asked.

            “Where did you get the card? Jo?”

            “Yeah, there is a huge party in there, and you are going to let loose, understand?” Alex asked, and Bette reached over touching Alex’s hair and ruffling it a bit, playing with the thick mane of growing hair. Alex let her and then she motioned to the door and Bette stepped through it, letting the beat take her.

*****

            “HOLY FUCK!” Shane blurted out spotting Bette from across the room, with Alex in tow. Alex was casing the place and Bette’s dark eyes were roaming the room not looking for any one in particular, but just looking. Alex tugged her to the dance floor, and Tina stood up from her place. Bette was in jeans and she looked radiant thought Tina.

            “Give her a minute Bella…” Ro said wondering where she’d seen Bette’s friend before, she was sure she knew her. Then Ro took Tina’s hand.

            “Come on let’s dance.” Tina shook her head just as Bette turned to Alex and dragged her onto the dance floor. Then Tina nodded and let Ro lead her to the dance floor.

            “Write this down Tim.” Vanessa said, and Tim gave her an odd look, and Vanessa said loudly, over the pounding beat of the exotic music.  “She hardly dances but she can. Sister dear is getting her groove on.” Tina’s eyes got stormy and dragged Ro out onto the dance floor, moving within eye sight of Bette and Alex. Jo felt herself being pulled out onto the dance floor by Amy and Dana offered her hand to Alice who declined. Dana was about to pout, but she saw her mother with a group of women, and thought she didn’t want to think about anything better to dance her worries away.

            “I’ll stay here, thank you.” Alice said and Dana growled and Sam pushed Lara over to Dana. Lara looked at Sam, stunned and hurt and then Sam said in a playful voice.

            “Go dance I’m out of order. I wanna sit and drink but you go have fun. Take very good care of her Dana.” Alice shot Sam a deadly glare and Sam ignored it Alice vowed to give Sam a good talking too later. After she’d gotten more alcohol into her system.

            Alex moved against Bette, Bette smiled forgetting that she’d been locked up at her own will for the last two months. Alex put a hand to the back of Bette’s neck and saw Tina and someone dancing, the dark woman turned and Alex almost growled as she saw who it was. Attorney for the wicked Rosita Navarro. She’d thought that Tina had better taste than that. How had Rosita gotten her claws into someone as sweet at Tina?

            Bette’s hips moved against Alex, the world disappearing as they danced to a song Bette didn’t know what it was but the beat was swinging. Bette felt the heat swelling in her, damn that cop could dance, who’d have thought? Bette found her hand, and wrapped her fingers around them.

            Tina watched as she and Ro danced with her and Ro cast a look over her shoulder and saw Bette and Alex mere inches from kissing, and Tina was steaming. The anger made her look luminous and Ro touched her chin, meeting her intense gaze and Tina had to hold the stare, there was nothing hotter that the gaze that Ro could give you.

            “How about we cut in on them?” Ro asked, and Tina grinned, and Ro smiled too.

            “No, I’ll dance with you. Another time maybe never.” Tina said still watching as the song changed and now their noses were touching, when did those two get all hot together? When did that happen? Why was Bette with Alex?

            “I told you I’d help you when the time came, didn’t I? Come on we have to strike while the iron is hot. Let’s do this, and do it hard, hit ‘em while they aren’t expecting it.” Ro said, taking Tina’s hand and they moved a bit closer to the dancing duo, other people now watching the steamy dance that Bette and Alex were putting on. Tina was getting aroused just watching them, if she hadn’t been so deeply hurt by Bette she’d be green with jealousy.

            “I know but now?” Tina asked and Rosita chuckled at Tina’s reluctance.

            “Best time to put a plan in motion, at the drop of a hat, come on.” Ro said, and Alex’s back was to Bette’s stomach, Bette’s hand on the detective’s stomach, fingers caressing her exposed flesh. Ok, she was jealous admit it Tina you are still in love with Bette fucking Porter.

            “Ok, let’s do it.” Tina stated her eyes filled with a sexy determination.

*****

            “I cannot believe you sent your girlfriend out to dance with mine!” Alice yelled and Sam sat back, downing another shot of tequila and not answering her. She watched on with no jealousy, no feelings as Lara danced with Dana. Steaming up the dance floor not as much as Alex and Bette, but close. They were enjoying each others company and Sam saw Alice’s mom at the bar.

            “Sam! Sam!” Alice yelled, and Vanessa snapped her fingers in front of the doctor and Sam smiled forcing a smile as she turned to Alice.

            “Yeah?” Sam said a bored tone in her usually buoyant voice, Alice slid closer to her and put a hand on Sam’s thigh.

            “Sami are you ok?” The concern in Alice’s voice was evident and Sam didn’t know how to feel about that, and she turned to meet Alice’s dark eyes.

            “Yeah, I’m good.” Sam said not believing that she was ok, not knowing if she really was or not. Her emotions were close to nonexistent, and the fact troubled her to absolutely no ends.

            “Bull shit, what is going on with you? You are not acting like the Samantha Vance I used to know, come on, dish?” Alice coaxed and Sam shrugged, losing sight of Lara and Dana and she turned to Alice, licking her lips.

            “Nothing is wrong, I swear. Here have a drink.” Sam said pouring her a shot from the bottle tequila and Alice downed the drink and made a face.

            “OH that is strong!” Alice whined and Sam stated with a hard edge in her voice.

            “The stronger the better.”

******

            Bette could feel all eyes on her, as she tried desperately not to kiss Alex, good lord she had a sexy set of lips on her. Totally not her type at all, then again, Candace hadn’t been her type no one had been her type except for Tina for a long time. Now Tina was with Helena or someone else she was sure. She leaned down to kiss Alex it was a stronger impulse than she could handle and suddenly there was someone moving between them and Bette was snapped out of her haze.

            Ro moved in and swept Alex to the left and said to the cop in a very playful voice having just broken up the almost kiss. Her timing was still perfect, Rosita thought to herself, looking over and seeing Tina move in. Come on Bella, this is your shot to get what you want.  “Well hello officer Pezinni so glad you are awake also very happy to see that your legs are still in working order.” Alex groaned and Ro’s hands were on her hips a rancid grin on Ro’s face as she taunted the cop. Alex was going to move away but Rosita held her in place. Alex thought if the woman wanted to play, she’d play right back at her.

            “If it isn’t defense attorney for the guilty, Rosita the traitor Navarro, what might bring you here tonight?” Alex growled and Ro laughed, having finally figured out who the cop was, she had been on a case that Rosita had won a while back and the heated cop hadn’t minced words with her. Ro’d like that she had a temper, and Rosita thought she used it to her advantage.

            “I am out with her.” Ro pointed to Tina, who was dancing with Bette, and Bette’s lips were moving, good they were talking Alex thought. Bette didn’t seem to taken shaken by being in close proximity to Tina, and that was a great sign, there was hope after all.

            “Tina has much better taste that you, can’t be, less she is bottom feeding this week.” Pez shot back and Ro put a hand to her heart, pretending to be wounded by the harsh jabs the Detective was dishing out.

            “Ouch, that hurt. You should be careful who you piss off Detective; you never know who you might want on your side in the future.” Ro said an edge to her voice appearing, and Alex met her eyes, then looked over her shoulder to see Tina and Bette simply dancing.

            “Is that a threat?” Alex shot back no longer dancing and her arms crossed and Ro met her gaze, hell those were some hot hazel eyes. Ro smiled and winked.

            “No, I’m just saying you might want to say hello to the new ADA for you precinct.”

            “Oh fuck me.” Alex groaned and rubbed her face Rosita laughing hard, the detective was off her game, and she was intending to keep her that way.

*****

            Jennifer went up to Sharon, a soft gentle hand resting on her lower back grabbing the older woman’s attention. Sharon turned, totally taken with the dark eyes and dark flowing mane of hair.

            “A big fan of the show?” Jennifer asked and Sharon smile lightly, and admitted.

            “Never seen it dear, but I am sure that I’ll have to watch it.” Jennifer wrinkled her nose and stared at her. She saw Lenore motioning with her hands, and Jennifer nodded.

            “You never have? Interesting.” Sharon shrugged, then turned to face the actress who was handing her a drink.

            “I do seem to remember you but from a movie…. With leg warmers?” Jennifer’s eyebrows shot up, she then chuckled. She’d forever be remembered for that movie, it would be the bane of her existence until the day she died. She was sure that someone would put a torn sweat shirt and leg warmers in her casket when she died.

            “Come with me, I think I’ll erase those awful memories from your memory.” Jennifer took Sharon’s hand and led her to Heaven. Dana turned, just in time to see her mother and a sexy actress making their way up the stairs. She had to be in hell that was it. Sheer hell. Dr. Satan hell and she was wearing a bunny suit, she turned back to Lara and wrapped her arms around the tall redheaded chef and let the music be her guide.

*****

            “Just a few hours ago.” Bette said to Tina who was smiling from ear to ear, Bette was fine, she was good and they were talking. There was hope to be had, but what was she doing here with Alex of all people? Dancing up a storm that had Tina seeing green with envy. They’d almost kissed, what was that about? She had a barrage of questions that she had to keep at bay, at least for the time being.

            “Alex busted you out?” Tina asked and Bette nodded, Tina touching her hips and Bette moving away a bit and Tina recoiled. Dark eyes hurt that Bette would shy away from her.

            “Sorry.” Tina said, rejected and Bette shook her head and leaned in, whispering into her ear, making Tina weak at the knees. She’d forgiven her, it was so much easier to forgive than to stay angry, anger took a lot of energy. Forgiving just took a lot of love, and Tina had that in abundance.

            “I’m just not ready for anything but friends Tina, I need a bit of time to process it all I guess. I’m not really sure where I’m going, but I know it will lead me to a much better place than I was when I ruined our relationship.” Bette admitted and Tina gave her an endearing look. Bette Porter, had just admitted that she was wrong, the moon was going to rise pink, it had to be . Bette hated to say she was wrong, and here she was, doing it so easily.

            “Process what?” Tina asked and Bette took a deep breath, her hand on the back of Tina’s neck, and Tina wanted to scream and kiss her.

            “The fact that I shot and killed Crystal.”

******

            “Oh that was to fun!” Dana said walking into one of the many bathrooms of the club and Lara stumbled along with her, Dana falling into the stall. Lara laughed hard, reaching in to pick her up, other people watching them and Lara could have cared less. She and Dana had just had more rounds of shots that she could remember, and she was stumbling drunk. Dana was too, and that was making her goofier, and that made her sexier too.

            “You are such a goof!” Lara blurted out helping Dana up, and Dana sat on the toilet, laugher to hard to move more than that. She yanked Lara onto her, burying her face into her stomach as she laughed for no reason.

            “I know, and I’m so gay too!” Dana yelled and a woman looked at her and Dana broke out into a fresh fit of laughter, Lara falling off of her and onto the floor. That made Dana laugh even harder, they’d downed about 6 shots of some sort of alcohol and they were both piss ass drunk.

            “Oh you are crazy tonight, what got into you?” Lara asked and Dana dug into her pocket and dug out some pills and Lara’s eyes went wide. She grabbed the bag and stuffs it down Dana’s jeans, and Dana winked.

            “I took some E from Alice’s stash!” Lara’s mouth hung open and then she too began to laugh. She slapped Dana’s leg and Dana felt a hot rush of arousal take her over.

            “Dana! That’s so…” Lara began, then laughing again, forgetting what she was going to say.

            “I know, not me right? Fuck it; I want to have some fun. My mom was out there, dirty dancing with a chick! AH!” Dana yelled, helping Lara up from the floor and Lara knelt, between her legs and they were nose to nose.

*****

            “Bathroom?” Alice asked and Sam stumbled a bit and chuckled, nodding as she found her feet.

            “We’ve been in all of ‘em except this one, they have to be here, I lost sight of ‘em like an hour ago.” Sam admitted and Alice wrapped her arm around Sam’s neck and they brushed passed a woman.

            “….some people just can’t wait until they get home…” The woman was stammering, and another was saying to someone else.

            “… she’s a public….”

            Alice turned and tried to catch the conversation and Sam pushed the door open, seeing a sight that made her already cold blood turn to ice. She quickly darted back out as Alice turned into her. Sam’s face serious and Alice tried to go into the bathroom, Sam spun her around dramatically and Alice blinked.

            “Don’t go in there.” Sam ordered and started to pull Alice away, to the dance floor, that’s it, distract her. Don’t let her see what she’d just seen, it was too much. What the hell was going on? Sam hadn’t seen this coming, she was sure that Alice hadn’t either.

            “No, what was in there, who were those women talking about?” Alice demanded and broke free from Sam and pushed the door wide open and saw Lara and Dana kissing in one of the stalls. Alice froze, and Sam reached in and hauled her back out, the door banging close and they were none the wiser. Sam had sobered up quickly, and Alice was in a daze. Her eyes glazed over, as if in shock.

            Alice allowed herself to be dragged across the dance floor, Alice not noticing that Bette and Tina were dancing again, and that Alex had found Jo and they were chit chatting. Sam pulled her out of the club and she pulled her to her car, Alice in a haze as the doctor started the car, glancing over at her friend.

            “Just fucking drive.” Alice said before Sam could talk, and the young doctor did as she was told.

*****
Inside Me
JG Marie
8/12/04

There is no place
Where the crazy thoughts
Run free like my mind
Wanton vision of you and me

Insanity
It runs free
Come and get wild with me
Inside this psyche of mine

Let loose, be free
There are no rules save one
Can you deal with it?
Come get berserk with me

Dance until your heart stops
Scream until your voice fails
Love until the day is done
Then start all over again

Come and get free with me
Life is only the moment you are living it
The next may never come
Can you deal?

Save the rule
There are none
Insanity rules the day
Havoc our new best friend
Chaos seems inviting
Come and get liberate with me