So after a great deal of thinking, I’ve finally come to terms with it, also I just got the nerve, I’m walking in Shane’s direction, I want to hear what she has to say about all this. I’m here after five minutes standing outside I knock on the door and fight the urge of running away and hide She just opened the door and is staring at me like if I was some kind of ghost.

            – Hi.-

            – What are you doing here?- Funny I was jus asking myself the same question.

            – Umm Carmen and I had a little talk tonight-

            – Ohyou believe me now?-

            – Yep I came to apologize, I should’ve believed you, you had no reason to lie and I had no reason to be that upset.-

            -But you did. Why were you so upset?-

            – Isn’t it obvious? I was jealous it hurt like hell watching you like that.-

            – We were just talking there was no reason to be jealous.-

            – I knowtook me a while but I know now.-

            – I have something to tell you it’s not easy but I gotta will you listen?-

            – Ok, I’m all ears.-

            – I never had a hamster growing up, but I had a dog and her name was Remy. I have a brotherbut I never met him ’cause we didn’t grow up together. And my mother put me in foster care when I was nine but I still love her very much ever since she left I decided that loving someone can bring nothing but heartache, and I could not let anyone hurt me that way again, so I put up as many walls as I could, no one ever knew me, and I was lost and alone. Bette was the first person to ever give a damn about me, she loved me even when I wasn’t letting her in, she was patient and waited for me to feel comfortable enough to open up to her, thing is by letting Bette in along came Alice, Tina, Dana, Kit, and Jenny, most recently Carmen, what I wasn’t expecting was you to come along, I mean I was all set with my little family, and they were ok, no possible heartache just by having friends. But you you totally wrecked me and all those years of keeping people away suddenly were just useless. I found that as much as I tried to stop what was becoming a very powerful feeling, I couldn’t I fell hard for you. And it scared the shit out of me, I mean I’ve never ever felt anything like this before. Before I met you I was still feeling pretty much alone and I was convinced that the world was a very ugly place that wasn’t worth much, but you found me, and put me out of the dark shelter I was in, when I’m with you the world suddenly becomes a place that’s worth anything so full of light, of joy and happiness you’re the one who introduced me to flying ponys and fantasies, and for some unknown reason I love the way you look in your little dinosaurs Pj’s, and the fact that your favorite movie of all times is a kids movie you bring the goodness in me and I like it. I actually love it I love you And I never want you to go away like you did I want to hold you every night so your not scared of the dark anymore I want to be the one you settle down with-  Oh my God!!  I’ve died and gone to heaven, and I had the most beautiful angel of all to be with me I could try to hold back the tears but since she’s not, I won’t either. We’re both crying but there is no sorrow tonight finally I am where I’m supposed to be, we both are. I’m terrified, this has every reason not to work, but I have a feeling that those reasons are the ones that’ll keep us together.