When she woke up they were still in the same position. Carmen’s warm back rested snuggly against Shane’s front body. Shane propped herself up on one elbow and leaned over to look at Carmen’s face. Shane smiled peacefully. Carmen was still sleeping. That didn’t happen much, most of the time Carmen woke up first. They were both more night persons but Shane always had a harder time getting up, especially without caffeine in her system. With Carmen that had changed though, it seemed like Carmen had enlightened her with her own cheerfulness. Shane felt relaxed lying there and watching Carmen. Her flat stomach slowly rising under her hands as she breathed. She liked watching Carmen, and it felt like it was something she could do forever. Each time she discovered new things about her face. The almost invisible frown between her eyebrows. The little drop at the end of her nose. She carefully tucked some loose strands of hair behind Carmen’s ear. ‘Who are you fucking kidding Shane? Is this what you have been so scared of? Someone lying next to you in the morning? In your arms, in your bed? Someone you love?’ Shane asked herself. Ofcourse she still knew why she had been scared. Because with love comes the hurt. She knew that this, what they had, would hurt her eventually. She just hoped it would be later instead of sooner. Because for Shane the hurting was something inevitable. Horrible things had to happen because she loved Carmen so much. ‘Don’t think about that right now,’ Shane said strictly to herself. She didn’t want to be scared right now. She couldn’t do that to Carmen. ‘Just be fucking happy for once,’ Shane thought decisively as she watched the beloved features of her girlfriend’s face, her dark eyebrows and lashes. Besides, Carmen was worth all the hurt. Carmen looked so sweet and peaceful, almost like an angel. ‘My fallen angel,’ Shane whispered, ‘you rescued me.’ She kissed Carmen’s lips very tenderly and rested her head on the pillow again. Carmen stirred a little but kept asleep. She was glad that Carmen wasn’t able to hear it, it was way too corny. She just hoped that Carmen would understand what she meant, in her sleep. Shane closed her eyes and could slowly feel herself drifting off to sleep again.