Chapter 2

I am sitting here reading to my mother, a book of her favorite poems. Even though I dont know my mother very well, I know this book means a lot to her, because it is very worn and frayed. Several poems are marked,

So I am reading those chosen pages. My heart is very heavy with the passing of my new friend Dana; I read in the newspaper her funeral will be Sunday, March 19^th. That is only a few days away. I need to change my schedule; I would like to be there for a final goodbye to her. I know she was well loved and a Tennis pro star, so I am sure there will be many people there for her. I do remember her friend Alice & Lara, Lara wasnt there at the end, and poor Alice was getting some much needed air, how sad for her, not to be there as Dana took her last breath, but I was there, as I held her hand she smiled and said thank you for being my friend, tell everyone I love them, and she quietly left this earth.

I know Alice loved her as a best friend and a lover, Dana told me their story, and I could see it in Alices eyes, each time she looked at Dana. I am a straight woman but I know what love is, and it knows no gender, I truly believe that, love is where you find it, and I am happy to know those two felt it.

I am still trying to decide the best way to contact Bette Porter and introduce myself? I cannot decide if I really want to do that or not, I know she has no clue about my existence as I didnt know about hers, until 8 months ago, when I met my mother again after 40 years. Actually that is some story on how that occurred. I will try to give you some back-story of her, before I met Dana.  As I said I am a Nurse and I work in the cancer ward, My mother came in for chemo therapy 7 months ago I was taking care of her, and really did not know who she was, I felt a familiarity, but couldnt place it, so I just let it drop. Her name was Marissa Elizabeth Johnson. And she was 63 Years old.

She had both her breast removed and needed chemo three times a week. I was drawn to this woman, there was no one ever there for her, she was all-alone, and that made me sad. No one should be alone, during this terrible ordeal. One day I was taking Marissa to her chemo, and we started talking about family. She told me she didnt have anyone who cared about her anymore. She told me she made many mistakes in her life, and she was not very proud of herself for that. I just listened to her and tried to make her believe, that the past is the past, it is the future, which you can change not the past. I asked her if she wanted me to contact any loved one in her past, She hesitated before she answered, and looked at me and said my girls. I asked her their names and how to reach them, she looked at me sadly and said, they wouldnt want to see me ever. I asked why? She said she left her little girl, when she was only 6 years old, and never contacted her again, Her name was Rebecca and she was the prettiest and smartest little girl ever. I looked at her and asked what was her last name? She answered Banks, I felt the shivers down my spine, I could not believe it, this woman I have grown to care for, was my mother. And she didnt know it. I looked her in the eyes and I said, my name is Becky Larson, My maiden name and full name was Rebecca Banks.

The shock on her face, turned to joy as she realized, she would again see her little girl she left behind, so many years ago. But, in my mind could she explain it? Do I even care to know? And why did she do it again and leave her daughter Bette in the same way she left me? I had to get my emotions in gear here, this woman Marissa was my birth mother Marissa Banks Porter, Why was she here registered under Marissa Johnson? What happened to her all those years ago?