The nuns gathered and gave Sister Tina some air. Angelica turned to her collective mother group yelling out to Mamma B “Mamma B.” Bette didn’t need a second callingshe was brought over by security to Angelica’s side. Bette rushes to her, wondering what a pack of nuns are doing on the court with their fallen comrade, “Angelica what’s wrong? Are you ok?” Angelica looks at her mother “Mamma, Imaybe we should go sit down.” Bette looks at her perplexed. Alice and Shane investigate. They, reluctantly, approach the conclave of nuns. Mother Barnaby has returned with a medical crew, “Out of the way please, help is here.” Shane and Alice look at one another and motion to move in to get a closer look, but they’re having difficulty getting close. The nuns still surround the fallen sister, with Mother Barnaby kneeling above her head on the ground.

Meanwhile on the sidelinesChristianne Amanpour is interrupted during her report from the presidential palace in the kingdom of Berapeepoo, where the revolution was garnering international attention, to report breaking news happening at Wimbledon. Chritianne announces, “This is CNN Live, we now go to Penny at Wimbledon.” Penny comes on the air “This is Penny Principalica reporting live from Wimbledon, on center court. There’s been an incident Christianne of significant international proportions. A group of nuns in the private box of the Vatican came face to face with Angelica Porter’s 95 km serveand one of them went down for the count. Back to you Christiannewe’ll have an update shortly.” Christianne turns to her producer “Who is this boob Principalica? And why is she interrupting my story with news of nuns and a tennis ball? Bloody twit! Geez we must be getting hard-up for good material! What do I look like for crying out loud a comedian? What is this? Romper Room News Incorporated! Friggin news executivesI’m in the middle of a friggin revolution and they interrupt me for a news bulletin from the twit herselfa nun hit by a tennis ball! And they’ve been complaining I’ve been going crazy! Crazy? Crazy? ME? I’m Christianne Amanpour for shit sakes” She walks off ranting and raving, her producer and cameraman following helplessly.

(Over at the Vatican) His Holiness Capricious the XXXXII is watching the tournament and saw the CNN Report. He hollers to Fr. Guido, his aide, “Father Guido, come quickone of our nuns has been hit!!!” Fr. Guido running into the Pope’s office, replies, “Holy Father, was it the mafia?” “No, I keep telling you there’s no such thing!” answers his boss. Fr. Guido scratches his head, “Terrorists?” “No Fr. Guido! It was the Porter womanfastest serve this side of the international dateline!”

(Back on the tennis court) Angelica tells Bette that the woman on the ground looks really familiar and that she should have a look. Bette doesn’t know what to think so she approaches her cohorts. Bette, with Alice and Shane on either side and Kit and Helena following with Percy, approach the encircled woman on the ground. As they approach, the nuns keep everyone at bay. Alice is pissed by this point “All right ladies, easy does it, let us throughwe’re the lesbians”

Sister Agatha- (Gasp!)

Sister Maradoona- (Gasp!)

Sister Evangeline- (Gasp!)

Sister Margaret Lowitious- (Gasp!)

Sister Feckla- (Gasp!)

Sister Esmerelda- (Gasp!)

Sister.(Well, you get the idea.)

Sister Bertha looks at the ‘lesbians’ in shock and turns to Sister Barnaby, “Oh no, they’re daughters of Sappho!” Sister Illuminata smacks her upside the head, “Have you been hitting the communal wine again!?” Mother Barnaby winces at them and, from her lowly perch, slowly looks up at the three lesbians led by Bette. The three figures have blocked out the light, which is now seeping through behind them somewhat blinding Sister Barnaby and, as Sister Barnaby raises her hand to block the rays, she slowly starts seeing the image that is being revealed- the sight of the mocha beauty, in all her glory, with Alice and Shane at her sides. The light causing them to almost glow. Sister Barnaby is taken aback, sighs, exhales and, feeling something altogether unholy, is overcome with a peaceful disposition. “Alright sisters, calm down, just let the lesbians through”

Sister Agatha- (Gasp!)

Sister Maradoona- (Gasp!)

Sister Evangeline- (Gasp!)

Sister Margaret Lowitious- (Gasp!)

Sister Feckla- (Gasp!)

Sister Esmerelda- (Gasp!)

Sister.(Well, again, you get the idea.) (Sister Illuminata breaks the gasping and the silence) “Sisters, sisters, come on nowmove overlet them through!”

Bette takes a step closer and as the rays break through the three lesbians and their band of sisters, and illuminate the fallen nun, Shane and Alice gasp in unison, while Bette’s body suffers the pangs of goose bumps and sinking feelings, a racing heartbeat and a shock to her consciousnessher eyes open wide, her mouth slightly ajarand all the while Sister Barnaby is feeling even more unholy with every passing second as she absorbs this spectacle of beauty succumbing to heart wrenching shock. Sister Illuminata regales her old friend “MOTHER Burnabyshouldn’t we do something?!” Burnaby replies “Wha? Oh, the fallen nunyeahSisters let’s give the medics some room and the lesbiansladiesdo you know Sister Tina?”

Shane is befuddled, “Sister Tina?”

Alice is dumbfounded, “Sister Tina?”

Helena is mystified, “Sister Tina?”

Kit is really confused, “Sister Tina?”

But Angelica breaks the monotony (of what’s starting to sound almost as good as some dialogue between Jenny and Max.but I digress) as she gazes at the fallen nun “Maaamma T?”

Sister Agatha- (Gasp!)

Sister Maradoona- (Gasp!)

Sister Evangeline- (Gasp!)

Sister Margaret Lowitious- (Gasp!)

Sister Feckla- (Gasp!)

Sister Esmerelda- (Gasp!)

Sister.(Well you really do get the idea I hope.)

Sister Illumnata breaks the sisterly monotony “Oh friggididee” (looking at Angelica) “Dear, what do you mean ‘mamma T’?” Helena interjects “No friggin way that’s herit can’t belunacyjust lunacy” Sister Illuminata doesn’t take kindly to interruptions “Hold your tongue lassAngelicawhat do you mean ‘mamma T’?” But Bette interrupts now too “AngieAngie honey” Angelica turns as the entire crowd now turns to face Bette, as though they were following volleys of a tennis ball over the netbut Bette can’t volley backher eyes roll back and she faints as Alice and Shane quickly catch her as they break her dramatic fall to the ground. The sisters now, thank goodness, all reply at onceGASP!

The Saphhic sisters start giving Bette some air and Alice is smacking her mildly to wake her. Sister Illuminata is already commencing her investigation and approaches Angelica, “Child, do you mean to tell me that you know our Sister Tina and that.that she’s your mother?” Angelica is confused, “Well, she looks like the lady in the photos of my Mamma T” Sister Burnaby retorts, “Mamma T? My dear, how old were you when your mother left?” Angelica replies, “Just over a year I think.” While Kit and Percy and holding Bette, Shane and Alice managed to break through the line black and white nun line to Tina. As they hover over her, they look like dear in headlights, lesbians in awe, women in shock, Sapphists in sheer consternationand then they look up at each other Alice reveals her findings, “Fuck” then looking at the nuns, “I mean frig Shane, it’s her!” “Al, I can’t believe ithow can it be?” replies Shane. Sister Illuminata jumps in, “He works in mysterious ways my child.” The medic yells out, “Ok people, we’ve got to transport her to hospital, give us some room.” Angelica had gone back to Bette and holding her as she’s waking starts pulling her arm and starts to annoy the hec out of her, “Mamma B, mamma B, it’s herit’s herit’s Mamma T! It’s her! It’s her! Mamma T, Mamma Bit’s Mamma T, Mamma T” And with that, Bette faints again.

Penny Principalica, not known as the brightest light on the candelabra, is getting information from the crowd passed back to her. Not being as experienced as Amanpour, and being a little dense, she’s not familiar with the effects of the telephone game on newsgathering from indirect sources. “This is Penny Principalica reporting for CNN Live, here at Wimbledon. It appears that a special envoy of the Vatican, a sister of the Order of Sapphist Nuns, has been seriously wounded by a Porter serve, one of the fastest on record in women’s tennis at this tournament. And that’s not all Christianne, the Mother Superior of this order of Sapphic nuns is alleged to be a former lover of Angelica’s mother Bette Porter. Now we don’t have confirmation yet, but it appears that Angelica Porter is alleged to be the love child of Bette Porter and Mother Superior Barnaby, formerly known as ‘Tina’. Back to you Christianne.”

The Pope in Rome faints.

Amanpour, standing near the presidential palace in the kingdom of Berapeepoo, the rain now starting to fall, and hearing bombs going off and bullets flying near her as the rebels launch an attack, addresses her producer, “That’s itI quitlet’s go see if the rebels need any help” and she walks off into the fray as her camera man films her and her producer faints. She was never heard from again, though after the coup, the new military dictatorship seemed to acquire a new press secretary for the new leader General Amanadoraparabou, and her name was Ramanamanpour, and they say she bore a striking resemblance to Christianne.