Back at the ranch Sania couldn’t sleep much either.  She was tossing and turning in her bed.  She was thinking of everything and remembering her time with the Carpenters, her time at college and the time she had spent on the ranch so far.  She felt happy but disturbed too.  She got out of her bed and went to her dresser.  She opened the drawer and got out the torn piece of her baby blanket and rubbed it against her face.  It felt smooth against her skin and she felt so good.  She then put it to her nose and took a deep breath and kept it there for a while.  She decided to tuck in her pocket she didn’t know why.  She looked back in her drawers and got her jewellery box out.  She wanted to look at the necklace with the half heart missing, once more.  She wanted to feel close to her mother somehow.  As if this half heart really belonged to her real mother!!  Sania looked at it and at the mirror.  She brought it close to her neck and still looking she decided to put it on.  She had hollow feelings in her guts and she wanted to be hugged so badly.  She walked back to her bed and tucked herself under the duvet and started to cry.  She wanted to be loved and wanted by her mother.  She needed to understand why her mother had abandoned her.  This question had been in her head since she started to understand her situation.  Was her mother still alive?  Was her father alive?  Who was he?  Could he be the reason for her situation?  Who was responsible for her situation?  Why wasn’t she loved enough to be taken care off?  Sania was getting really upset and her head started to ache.  She got out of bed again and decided enough was enough.  She wanted to get out and clear her head.  She’s had it with self pity and wallowing in the past didn’t help her at all.  She washed her face, got dressed and put her boots and went out heading towards the stables.  She got one of the horses out and straddled it and got on top of it racing the wind with it.  She had so much anger inside of her and she wanted to clear her headache.  It was cold and misty outside but she didn’t care.  She felt she had so much energy and frustration to last her for a life time.  She went to the hill and all around it and decided she’d still wanted to ride a bit longer.  Her head was feeling better but she had lots of energy still and she wanted to spend it.