Now I’m Nothing PT 8

So this is Shane and me and we are walking, but we are not talking. And why am I doing this exactly? I miss this. Just sharing the same air. I miss her eyes. How in the darkness of her room they seem brown. But when she smiles at you all you see is olive green. I missed the silkiness of her skin, the conditioner she uses in her hair, her hands, the black and red costumed warrior statue she had hidden in plain site. And remembering all these things about wasn’t making this any easier by the way.

“Hey do you remember when you asked where I got the scar on my shoulder from?”

I pretend like I don’t know what she is talking about. It was the second time we slept together and I was trying to get to know her.

“No, what scar?”

“Your funny Carm, well I got it playing youth hockey in Fort Worth. It was a program form under privileged kids sponsored by the Dallas Stars. Anyway I was pretty good at it. I could skate. I don’t remember how I learned. I was a center. Anyway one day I driving hard to the net and the goalie didn’t like a girl trying to show him up. You know how 12 year olds are. So the next time I do it he trips me up and I get his skate jabbed in my shoulder on the way down. A brawl ensued and I was asked to not play anymore. It’s funny they said I played the sport a little too rough.”

Trying to picture a younger version of Shane and my mind draws a blank. But it was one of the sexiest things anyone has ever said to me.

“Is that why you laughed when you saw my Jenny Finch poster?”

“No I laughed cause I thought she was hot too.”

That hangs in the air and we walk a little more going nowhere fast.

  I missed her mouth and how hard she kisses. I missed her humor, I missed the way she walks to her own personal soundtrack, and I missed the way she zeroed in on me like I was the only one on planet earth. Her ferocity, her sinewy features. I now I looked them up. The words that is. Fearless, that’s what I missed the most. Shane was fearless. Add the buttery voiceand i am melting.